Whiskey's Second Chance

34: Lost and Confused

Kayla POV

Spending the afternoon walking around Greece, exploring little shops, and laughing with the others felt refreshing. After talking with Tiger, I didn't know how the others would react or think of me because I never came back last night.

Tiger closed the villa door and pounced on me, asking for all the details.

"I um-" I didn't know what to say, or how much to say. I don't want Tiger to think I'm some sort of whore or slut, only using Whiskey for what I wanted. Last night was incredible and for the first time in a long time, I felt desired.

"Whiskey and I may have enjoyed ourselves and time together," I confirmed, blushing entirely too hard.

"Hell ya, Kayla!" Tiger exclaimed, hugging me. "Now, I know Whiskey is like my second brother, but I need to know. Did he at least show you why once you pick a Rider you'll never go back?" she asked, wiggling her eyebrows at me.

I couldn't help but laugh and relax, knowing Tiger would not judge me for my actions. She just wants me to be happy. Laughing, I said, "Yes, yes he did. I don't think I could be happy with anyone else."

Tiger smiled and gave me a hug. "As long as you're happy, that is all that matters to me. But if he ever, and I mean ever, makes you unhappy, I will kick his ass," she assured me, and I knew she would too.

"Let's hope it never gets to that point," I hummed.

Her words rang through my mind as Whiskey, and some others left, leaving me with Killer. The entire day I got the feeling that Killer was keeping a close eye on me, as though he didn't trust me after last night. 

Turns out I was right, because as soon as they left, Killer pulled me aside to talk.

I sat nervously on a rock away from the others. "You're not in trouble, Kayla, so breathe," Killer calmly stated, and I tried to breathe, but I couldn't. "Whatever Whiskey does in the bedroom is his deal. It always has been, everyone knows that. But everything he does outside of it is mine. I know nothing about you, and the little I know concerns me," he confessed.

"What do you want to know?" I nervously asked.

"Why are you here? You're running and I need to know why. I have no problem handing you over to whoever, if it means keeping my family safe. I'm tired of the games. Talk. Now," Killer growled, and for the first time I feared him.

This isn't how I wanted to tell my story, but I'm not willing to walk away either, so I told him everything. Exposing every part of myself, even the uncomfortable bits, and afterwards felt a slight weight being lifted off of me. The weight wouldn't fully disappear until I told Whiskey the truth, but if I told Whiskey, would he still want me?

"Thank you," Killer stated, and left me alone to think.

Maybe I'm not cut out for this type of life. Constantly being questioned, wondering if I am wanted, or if I will survive this lifestyle. Killer clearly doesn't trust me and probably never will. So, why am I here?

*****

Ginger, Rachel, Haley, Raine, Lily, and I all headed to the dinner venue, and when we arrived, we were all in awe. The dinner was at a rooftop restaurant overlooking the ocean and tonight the sunset was gorgeous. It was a family style table with name tags on each spot telling us where to sit. It wasn't the rehearsal dinner, but if this was just a family dinner, then I can only imagine how special it would be.

We all easily found our spots. We talked and drank while we waited for the others. After lunch, we didn't see the other half of the group the rest of the afternoon and I was anxious to see Whiskey again.

Watching Ginger and Blade interact in their own world, in love, waiting to introduce their baby to the world, and a pang of jealousy hit me. I want more than anything to feel the way they feel; loved.

Lily and Rachel moved to sit next to me. "Look at those two," Lily hummed.

"I know, it makes me sick," Rachel laughed.

"I couldn't agree more," I laughed.

Both Rachel and Lily whipped their heads in my direction. "What do you mean 'you couldn't agree more'?!" Lily gasped.

I shrugged my shoulders, not wanting to fully get into it right now, knowing the others would be here soon.

"Every time I look for you, or Whiskey, you're always together, looking exactly like them!" Lily burst out, pointing at the two lovebirds.

I looked at the girls, furrowing my brows, wondering what drugs they were on. "Whiskey and I look nothing like them. Let's be real here. Besides, they're married. Whiskey and I...we're not even dating," I confessed.

The girls didn't know what to say, but it didn't matter because the others showed up and took their seats. They all looked much more stressed now than when they left, which means wherever they went did not go as planned. Everyone took their seats and waited for them to explain what had happened.

Ginger opened her mouth, but snapped it shut when Ace shot her a look, telling her now was not the time to ask. Tiger placed her head on the table, defeated, and I didn't know what to do. However, Ginger did, and she all too excitedly called out, "Where's the booze people? I thought this was a celebration. Let's gooooo!!!!"

With that, everyone perked up and, they brought drinks out along with a massive feast of food served family style. The night passed with ease and lighthearted conversations, and in the end, no one remembered the misery of the day. Walking back to the villas felt more like a waddle for us, especially Ginger, who leaned on Blade, trying not to fall asleep.

I walked in the middle of the pack, feeling warm from the alcohol, but enjoying the night breeze when a hand found mine. Confused, I found Whiskey next to me, beaming, as though holding my hand was equal to winning the lottery. Instinctively, I wanted to pull away. Since my talk with Killer, I've been stuck inside of my head, unable to shake the feeling that my life is going to come crashing down any moment now.

We didn't talk as we walked back to the villas, and despite his gentle tug towards his villa, I stood my ground. Whiskey seemed disappointed, but kissed my forehead and whispered goodnight before turning away.

Inside, the girls were in their pajamas and made tonight a movie night, but I wasn't in the mood and I didn't want to ruin their night. So, I went upstairs, showered, and sat in the dark, drawing my emotions. When I'm overwhelmed, drawing helps my mind come back to center and focus on something other than my current situation.

My drawing looked like a blob of nothing, but the colors stood out to me. They were dark reds, blues, purples, and grays, reflecting my mood perfectly. Closing my iPad, I tossed it across the bed and let out a groan. All I wanted on this trip was to enjoy myself and my time with everyone, and I hoped something would happen with Whiskey and I. Now that it had, I'm even more confused and lost.