My Metal Angel (Vince Neil X Tom Keifer A Love)

Chapter 5- Rock & Traveler's Blues (Vince Neil)

Touring.... i DO love playing to the crowds, or I did. These days it seems all I do is play a part, which I play very well. But things personally are going to shit...Nikki chief among them, he's starting to shoot up more, and then there's also: Doc. Doc, I'd always hated BEFORE I remember at least some of what I've repressed from my rape...now I hate him more than ever, and catch him leering at me, tormenting me whenever I have to be near that evil asshole and it's gotten to where I am having nightmares...or are they really my memories? All I DO know is that they come every night...bits and pieces, the fragments of reality HURT. Sweat.... pain, feeling like I've been doing drugs when I wasn't, there are screams muffled somehow...but they are sadly mine. So, I avoid Doc like the plague...and now he scares me. Nikki mentally is in the same boat I am in a lot of ways...but back to the tour for a moment. It's June now, and really, we've just started the tour as we're supposed to tour until maybe mid-August. I guess 'lucky' me it's no longer...though, it FEELS too long....and it's not just because of the pain I carry, what I've been thru in the last year...it's because of Tom, Tom Keifer.

I'd begged Zutuat for what feels like an eternity to check out Cinderella, but to be fair during the time he was busy with us as he is our producer and all and he's actually a decent guy and a good friend, but anyway....He'd finally gone to check them out about April I think and quickly they got signed...I got to admit, it made me feel good to feel like I did something right...something GOOD, though I have a feeling there is more to my motivation...there IS, it's Tom...I wasn't kidding when I'd told him his band was too talented to not get signed...but maybe i did it too, because i was hoping to see him again or at least part of me was hoping. But April we were already on the road, had rehearsals in March...barely fucking time to breathe and we still have months left. However, Zutuat, keeps me up to date here on the road...bless him, Cinderella has recorded their debut album 'Night Songs', he even sent me a copy which I listen to on a  record player ALL the time...every chance I get just to hear Tom. But he's busy, promotional stuff, a veritable blitz. I----

"Vince? Vince man, you, ok?"

"Huh?" I shake my head and realize Tommy just asked me a question, currently we are all hanging out at a little Italian restaurant, Nikki is of course MIA, but Mick, his two daughters and his husband Alice Cooper is here, as well as a drummer from an up-and-coming L.A band: Steven Adler who is with Tommy. Now everyone is staring at me...great.

I sigh, "No...and yes?" Mick gives a hard yet knowing look.

"Um you're not fine, you've been acting...different since your Philadelphia trip. "

"Mick...I don't know if I can talk about it...about a lot of things, it's not just losing Skylar..." Here my voice breaks, "Beth was no loss. But.... there's something else I've been dealing with, besides the normal stuff."

"Vince if I may?" Alice speaks up and shares a look with Mick, they are perfect for one another, and their love story is truly epic, but anyway...I nod, "From what Mick's told me, you'd met someone that gave you a spark of hope, that you formed an instant connection with.... You're in love." My jaw drops...unable to believe what I just heard but...I think he's right yet i don't want to admit that, but the tears they fall.

"N-No...I...I Can't.... it's been Six months.... a-and...he couldn't feel the same way.... especially after all this time...." At this point I am grasping at straws on the excuse front, but I feel in my heart Alice is right, but this scares me....it scares me, and Doc.... if he found out...I take a deep breath, "I'm not good enough for him...he can do better, I've been...." I don't know if I should...well they'll find out anyway, "I was um.... well..."

Steven Adler, of all people...who is a very sunny person is strangely serious and says no whispers, "Were you uh raped you mean?" I gape at him...

"Y-Yes...I-I think it was on tour one night...um I swear I hadn't been drinking...I swear, I was going to I think that night, but I stopped at the hotel...next thing I remember is waking up....covered in bruises, blood in between my legs...in the sheets...it looked like Doc's room...it HURT...I think...I went to the hospital, um they said I'd been raped...OH GOD!" I sob, Mick and Alice's daughters who are 4, look on...not sure what is going on, but it's a look that shouldn't be on their little faces EVER. "S-Sorry...." I whisper miserably, I feel arms around me...little arms, and I find myself looking down at Luna who looks like a combo of both Mick and Alice and Tamara who looks like a mini-Alice but has Mick's eyes. "Aw...thank you girls...sorry."

"We do not know what go on Unka Vinny, but you sad and need hugs." Luna says...God is this bitter-sweet, bringing back so many memories of my all too brief time with Skylar. The others around the table that heard what I said, their faces are a mix of shock, anger, grief and in the case of Alice and Mick, pride mixed in at how sweet Luna and Tamara are...who soon go back to their parents...but now the atmosphere is subdued.

"Man Vince .... I had no idea...none of us did.... I'm sorry.... but it makes sense...your behaviors...so freaking stupid of me!" Tommy runs a hand thru his hair, as Steven comforts him and they lean on each other...making me wistful.

"I repressed the memory...but I can't prove shit...." I say lowly. "I'm used goods...a whore, I've slept around too much...how can I ever tell Tom all this? I mean I don't know where he lives.... I just...I feel like I CAN'T. I'm afraid.... I'll find a way to ruin this."

"Vince...we've got your back with Doc...Doc...damnit...he harasses you and Nikki far too much...really abusive to you both...emotional manipulation and such. We've got to...." I cut Mick off....

"No...I mean you're right...but no, I don't want to make things worse for me or Nikki or any one of us." I manage to dry my tears. I don't want Tom...to be dragged into my messes...even though part of me is SCREAMING that he wouldn't abandon me. I just can't explain or entertain the idea of love, but...but, again I have a deep connection already with Tom Keifer...Tom.... Tom...but then I...I mean he's all I ever talk about, dream about...I helped get his band discovered, hell I've never really gone out of my way like that for someone before, but I did it...for HIM.

We all manage to finish dinner and move on too much safer topics of discussion and there is laughter, Steven and Tommy being goofy making everyone laugh...I needed that, yet I am dying inside...

Before I realize it, I am laying in my bed at our hotel, now staring up at the ceiling...It's dark, too dark....my mind is like L.A traffic on steroids, too much going on....

I seem to be dreaming now.... must be asleep...how about that? I am dreaming....and a vision stands before me.... Tom...Tom walking towards me on a beach, long almost raven hair nearly reaching his waist, his rounded swollen stomach on display, wearing a dress and looking radiantly happy, as he walks towards me and I realize I can see Heaven in his eyes...he's my angel...I am wearing a tux, we are getting married it seems. Tom finally reaches me...

"How are you feeling babe?" I whisper, gently stroking his face...and then his stomach.

"I feel fine Vinny...more than that, I feel wonderful...I'm marrying the love of my life. I am more than ready to become YOURS in all ways." Tom's smile is radiant, and we say our vows, in this moment...all that we'd been thru, still going thru...everything fades away, just my metal angel and me and our unborn children....

A/N: Bitter-sweet, a gathering....and Vince telling his friends about what horrible thing happened to him, some realizations and more....the next chapter, will see how Tom is and has been coping and then chapter 7, at long last Vince x Tom will reunite.