Tiny Dancer [on hold]

That One Spiderman Meme

I woke to the fridge being ripped open and ran in to see Five chugging water, then the door opened to show Luther with bags of food.

"Five, are you okay?"

"I'm gonna need to be hydrated,"Five grumbled and turned to me with a crazed look in his eyes,"Naomi where's Benji's baby powder?"

The baby powder floated onto the table where it was hastily grabbed and Five started shaking the powder down his clothes.

"Don't waste it all, that shit's expensive!"

"It's going to help with the itching,"Five protested.

"What itching? There's itching? What the hell is going on here,"Luther said, still standing in the hallway like an idiot. Five just gave him a knowing look, basically asking him to use that one braincell Luther has,"You do have a plan!"

"Well, it's a desperation move, but since our brain-dead siblings are incapable of meeting a simple deadline, I got no choice."

"No choice about what," I asked worried.

"I have to find myself. I just arrived in Dallas 15 minutes ago."

"Should I be worried about you," Luther asked dumbly.

"He time traveled to 1963 remember Uncle Luther,"Grace said in a groggy voice as she rubbed her eyes,"so he could make sure that JFK was assigned by the commission."

"So, wait, you're old self is out there."

"Just walking around Dallas," I said finishing Luther's sentence.

"With a briefcase to get us home," exclaimed Grace clapping her hands

At that moment Benji's whines could be heard so I rushed over to change and feed him, and came back to hear Five talking.

"The side effects can be disastrous."

"Side effects? What sort of side effects," I ask burping Benji.

"Well, according to Commission Handbook Chapter 27, subsection 3b, the seven stages in paradox psychosis are: stage one: denial, two: itching, three: extreme thirst and urination, four: excessive gas, five: acute paranoia, six: uncontrolled perspiration, and seven: homicidal rage."

All I could do was blink as I comprehended the seventh stage, and worried.

"Don't worry, Uncle Five! I'll help you stay sane, momma's helped me with my powers!"

Five just pressed a sincere kiss to the top of her head before he approached Luther,"I need a spotter."

"What is that? Like, a wingman?"

Just slapped my forehead with my palm and I spoke up,"Five I'll go with you. First lets eat quickly and let Grace and I change."

So there we were, me in a skippy dress because Five was antsy to get to the bar, while the eyes of nasty men bore on me in a bar as we stood before a pillar watching old Five write stuff down.

"Well, there I am,"Five muttered as he twitched a bit

"Why don't we just grab the briefcase and run?"

"Luther he is a trained assassin! He would never just let that happen!"

"We're trained to guard these briefcases with our lives,"Five added, before sighing and continued talking,"Plus, it's the inherent paradox where this gets tricky. I'm endangering my existence just being in the room with myself."

"Luther, try to keep up,"I said rubbing the bridge of my nose,"If old Five doesn't travel back to 2019 like he's supposed to, the whole thing unravels itself. Then Five ceases to exist, you understand?"