Fifty Shades of Ryeji || RyujinxYeji

Chapter 19

Ryujin's POV

The pity is still there but I lost the guilt already. How did I come to this point? I don't know myself anymore. I don't know why I'm losing myself...is it because I already lost myself in the hands of the person I trusted the most?

"You punk, never lay a hand on your girl."
Heejin stated, we're inside a Japanese
restaurant. I asked her if we could chill out. This Japanese restaurant is often visited by kpop idols because they can give you privacy, our identity is safe in here.

I ran to my predator because no matter how I try to avoid her, I know she would do everything to lure me in her trap.

"How can I? After all that I've known?" I drank a shot of soju and smiled at Jinsoul and Lip, they're farther from us and I happened to glance at them that's why I
smiled.

I remember how I hated the smell of liquor. How the liquor ran to my throat down my stomach that night. How I was perfectly taken advantage. How can I put myself back into one when every pieces of it was blown away by that moment?

Adding the thing about Lia and Yeji...everything is putting me down.

Maybe it's true. You can never outrun your abuser and the fact that you were violated. Maybe it's true, your abuser could be the one you want to seek out to.

I remember the morning I woke up beside Yeji. The day before yesterday...l can't get it out of my head. The day that I received a message from Jisu—the messages were still clear in my mind.

'I kissed her when she stayed in my house
for one night'

And who knows what happened after that? How can she tell me that 'it's just Jisu'? She sure can hide her gestures but Jisu—Jisu's too much. Yeji's mine, what's mine is supposed to be mine only.

"What if you find out that Hyunjin's cheating huh? How will you act? What will you do?" I asked. Why am I even asking this kind of question? Why am I trying so hard to bring back that friendship back to normal? Heejin tied a leash on my neck already and I can never remove it...

I can never bring it back to normal. How I ran to her about my whereabouts. How I cry myself with her when I don't wanna add up with Yeji's problem. Is this really Heejin? How did we end up like this? I hate her...but I can't do anything. I missed her. Yes, I missed the girl who would pick up my call right away. I missed the girl who would cry with me.

"l'd probably overreact too and...I don't know what can I do of course. But I'm sure that I'll be angry even if I don't really feel anything about her." Heejin stated, "It's okay to be possessive Ryu but—if there's obsession growing inside you, stop that." she taps my shoulder so I nodded.

How can you be so good in acting when someone's around, Heejin-ah? This is the Heejin I've known, why am I facing her right now? Is this you, Heekie? Were you the one who held my hand in my darkest days back when we were conquering our journey together?

Mixnine buddies, remember? Why did you do that to me? Why did you ravish my dignity as if I wasn't a friend.

"What if she's really cheating? What if they have an affair? Heejin, I can't lose her." I brushed my hair with my fingers as I put my elbow on the table; closes my eyes in frustration.

"Here, Lia only texted that she kissed Yeji. From that you'd find out that she's making you jealous Ryujin. Yes, she kissed Yeji but the question is—did Yeji kiss her back?" Heejin asked that put away the lump on my throat that I've been holding back. She's too good. For sure she's grinning inside with all these thoughts that's running inside my head. For sure she's tightening her hold with her leash.