𝐌𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬

43 | Early Morning Wake Up Call

Y/N
  

In this country, the majority of women using birth control use oral contraceptives; sitting at about 25.9 percent. Next are condoms at 15.3 percent and another 24 percent sits with the use of IUD's, implants and other lesser popular methods. But as a woman I can tell you right now the most powerful thing to stop you from having a baby, is being around a baby.

Ever since Haz lost Robyn, he and Oliver have been staying with Tom and I at the London apartment. Haz couldn't bare to be alone in that great big house where he had seen his security guard killed, his nanny shot, his wife deceased and the murderer of both of those woman also dead in his bathtub. Trust me, Haz and Tom see a lot of confronting shit in their line of work but nothing is quite as impactful or traumatizing as witnessing the familiar dead bodies as people you knew; people you loved.

And every night since he's been here, Oliver has woken us all up in the middle of the night from his crying. Apparently he used to be a decent sleeper and would last throughout the night but Haz thinks that he misses his mum. As much as Tom and I volunteer to get up and feed Oli, Haz declines and tells us that he needs to do it to form that sacred maternal bond Robyn had by breastfeeding him constantly. He needs Oli to form that type of bond with him now.

We had gone with Haz to some kind of baby doctor that helps when babies don't have their mothers anymore. They taught us how to synthetically feed Oli and make sure he had the same experiences he was used to. And as weird as it sounds, the doctor said babies like boobs for more than just their milk; so I've been sitting with Oliver a lot to keep him close to my chest and hear my heartbeat.

"When is Haz fucking moving out? He's already bought the new place," Tom groaned, rolling over in bed and burying his face into the crook of my neck and shoulder.

"He will feel worse staying in a hotel by himself and you know that... We need to support them both until their new house is ready to move into," I whispered, half yawning through the sentence as I checked my phone for the time.

3:41am.

"He's fucking rich he could buy a whole fucking hotel and stay in a different room each night," Tom sulked, exhaling loudly against my skin in frustration.

"How about tomorrow you focus on getting him out of his depression, getting him out of the house and I'll stay here with the bub. He just needs to feel like his life is on track to be normal again," I said rolling towards him and chuckling softly when his head fell from my shoulder and faceplanted the pillow.

I feel bad for Harrison, his life will never feel normal again because every day he looks at his son he will be reminded of the woman who is no longer with them. But I know he's strong and I know he's resilient. And with a father like Haz and an Uncle like Tom, our little baby Oliver will grow up in the very best hands.

"It's only been one fucking month with a crying baby waking us up every night and I'm already sleep deprived and ready to never have kids," he sighed, rubbing his eyes.

"Tom, it's been two and a half weeks... It hasn't been a month. Plus that's such a lie, you love kids," I chuckled, reaching up to play with his soft messy curls on his forehead.

"I love them when they're not crying at four in the morning... And when theyre not throwing up on my nice shirts and shitting on my couch," he huffed.

"He didn't shit on your couch. He was laying on his blanket on the couch and he was wearing a nappy. It was pretty funny watching him cough up gross milk on your chest though," I giggled.

"Yeah and I had to change my entire outfit ready for court and I almost got there late," he sulked again.

It was pretty rapid after Priya was discovered dead 'in her apartment' that Tom's sentence was dropped and his ankle monitor was removed. Of course, they'd dispose of it before they would ever think to break it apart and search for my tampering. They simply cut it off at the courthouse and disposed of it.

We had planned to celebrate with a night of lavish dinner, expensive wine and passionate sex but Haz had broken down in the few hours we were at court and we didn't want to leave him alone for much longer. If he didn't have Oliver to look after, we feared he wouldnt see the value in keeping himself alive.

"Next time I get pregnant how about we actually plan it so we're prepared," I joked, referring to the quite serious and not at all light hearted experience Tom and I had endured over a year ago now.

"Are you saying you'd actually consider having kids?" He said opening his eyes a little wider and looking at me with a glimmer of hope.

"We can start with one kid. And not for a long while because I want to actually do life with you. You know, see the world and travel around without it being for work, maybe buy a place together and focus on our relationship without distractions. I feel like we've been dealt such a dramatic few years together and we haven't had time to just live with one another in peace," I smiled.

"Deal. Well, heres to doing life with you," Tom said smiling at me, holding up a fake glass as if he was doing a cheers with a drink.

"To doing life," I smiled, copying him by holding a fake glass and kissing him softly.