1. Hit or Miss

Chapter Forty-Four

I hadn't noticed until his arms were around me that Mark leapt off his couch to come comfort me. I wasn't sure if I was upset or shocked. Mark's firm hands gently rubbed my shoulders as I tried to calm myself down. His words ran through my head on repeat as I examined them. Each part was sincere, and he just had to end it with that he loved me still. I was brought out of my thoughts when Mark spoke softly to me.

"Was it bad? Did, did he say something to upset you?" Mark was cautious in his questioning. I huffed to jolt my breathing right so I could talk.

"I-I uh, no. He honestly sounds sincerely needing to talk. He doesn't want to force me but has made it clear I won't be going home without us sitting down." I explained quietly now holding my phone as the screen blacked out. Mark paused the movie and turned me to him. I looked into his warm eyes while he smiled.

"I think that is brave and very noble of him. I would say tomorrow if he isn't busy after shooting, maybe, try and just talk with him? I have some shit I gotta do around their office anyhow! Besides, we aren't doing the video till geeze, Friday?" Mark was trying to remember the schedule he had for the week. Being it only Tuesday I had a few days to make up and relearn my way around here. I thought for a moment silently trying to wipe my red cheeks away from tears as well.

"So, I just, I walk in there with you, and just march up to Mr. Sexbang and say I think he and I should talk?" I looked down waiting on whatever Mark was going to come up with for advice. He chuckled which caused me to look back up at him.

"I think honestly your presence is going to be enough. Let him come to you. I mean, I saw what reaction Shannon had just for lunch, you do realize she is going to now see you come back and is probably going to give you a hard time. Dan as well, but he, I'm sure, will protect you." Mark's advice and warning sent me back to the last time I even was with Dan. I was screaming at him and so mad that he had demanded I never say another harmful insult to Shannon, as long as he was around. I remembered him flat out shutting down and making sure I knew she still had a hold. I then was back to lunch and her face. Her face was that of fear and mixed with unrealistic territory. I shook my head to try and escape it. Mark was patient once more when I again thought about what was about to happen tomorrow.

"She's going to kill me. He's going to be stuck in the middle. Someone is going home hurt. Mark," I looked back down with a worrisome sigh, "I am going to start so much shit showing up. I mean is it even worth it?" I frowned now knowing this was a huge mistake. Drama did not need to come back with me. Mark pulled me into his chest and I found it oddly comforting.

"Ya know what?" Mark let me hum so he could continue, "You are so worried about causing so much trouble, when I do believe that Dan wouldn't suggest this if it would be too much for him." Mark was reassuring me of Dan's thoughts and I sighed. He softly stroked my arm and allowed me to stay against him.

"This should not be this goddamn difficult! I mean, sure, he knew I was going to be there, he knows how he feels, but who is he to assume I feel the same!?" I tried to build my walls back up until Mark took the tools away.

"Is he wrong?" Mark flat out asked. I gasped before turning to look up at him.

"Excuse me?" I snapped. He wasn't even offended I got lippy.

"I asked, is Dan wrong about how you feel? I do recall you admitting you miss him. I mean if it was just a moment, it's okay, really I understa-" Mark was going into calling me out in a way that made me admit it finally.

"OKAY! YES! I, miss, Danny. I miss him more than anything in this world. Yes, when I heard that, thing, ask about Date Grumps, it shattered me. I clearly was broken down! I just, I don't like much that Dan knows still. I hate he knows me so well still and I feel like I should get a chance to stand tall and not let him see how terrible I've been!" I tried for an independent woman approach and was watching Mark become amused.