No Questions Asked (A KiriBaku Fic)

Chapter Nine: The Unicorn Onesie

(Brief TW: There are hospital mentions in this chapter, nothing graphic or gory though)

Kirishima couldn't sleep.

Several peace-filled and NQA-absent weeks had passed since the eel incident, and most of the students were very happy about it. However, Kirishima was left with a lingering feeling and an unfortunate memory.

WE'RE NOT DATING!

Kirishima knew better than anyone exactly what he'd told Himari about Bakugou. While he knew that his feelings were strictly platonic towards his friend, Himari wasn't convinced. She had compared the two to her and her girlfriend before they'd started dating, Kirishima had denied it, but he was still left with a hollow feeling in his chest as he replayed Bakugou's words in his mind.

They weren't dating, that was true. Bakugou was straight and there wasn't anything that Kirishima could do to change that. He supported Kirishima in being open about his own sexuality, but that would be as far as it went. They weren't dating, and Kirishima refused to acknowledge any sort of false hope that may have led him to believe that could change.

So why did hearing such an obvious fact hit him like a punch in the gut?

He rolled over onto his side, shoving his pillow onto his head to try and muffle the memory. He was unsuccessful.

Bakugou was his friend, and he wasn't going to do anything that could jeopardize that. Acknowledging any sort of non-platonic feelings that Kirishima definitely did not have would only put their relationship at risk, and potentially drive Bakugou away from him forever.

A flash in his peripheral caught his attention, then another, then another, then finally his phone began to ring loudly in the quiet of night. He groaned and rolled back over, slapping his hand down onto his phone and answering it as he brought it to his ear.

"Hello?" His voice was groggy.

"Shitty Hair." Came Bakugou's flustered voice through the phone. "Get your ass to the University of Musutafu Hospital ER... Right fucking now... No questions asked."

"Holy shit!" Kirishima sat bolt upright in his bed, throwing off his blankets and shoving his head into a random hoodie thrown haphazardly on his bed. "Are you okay? What happened?"

"NO QUESTIONS ASKED!"

"Right, right, sorry. I'm on my way... Should I get Aizawa?"

"Fuck no. Just get over here!"

Kirishima nodded against the phone as he sprinted through the dorms as quietly as she could, taking care to not wake anyone.

He got outside and did not stop running, he instead picked up the pace. The hospital was only a handful of blocks away, so it was nothing for Kirishima to run. Quite frankly, he believed that he would have vibrated his way out of the cab from pure adrenaline if he had gotten one.

The streets were mostly empty, spare a few drunks and people on a late-night walk of shame, so he didn't get much for looks. For many people, a teenager in a dead sprint was one of the least strange things they had seen so far. He prayed that he wouldn't run into any night-shift heroes; prayers which were thankfully answered as he skidded to a halt in front of the hospital without any incident.

He threw open the doors to the emergency room and ran inside, looking around wildly for Bakugou. He probably looked borderline feral at this point, and hoped that security wouldn't tackle him.

"Shitty Hair."

Kirishima nearly snapped his own neck with how fast he turned around. His eyes skimmed across the handful of patrons, and finally settled on the only person who could possibly be Bakugou.

"Bak-Bakugou?"

"Not... A... Fucking... Word." Bakugou was literally vibrating with rage as he stared up at Kirishima from his seat.

Kirishima had to avert his eyes to keep himself from laughing. Bakugou was worse off than he was when he'd gotten himself shoved into the maid dress, and Kirishima couldn't look at him without risking an explosion to the face.

A neon rainbow unicorn onesie, matching sequined platform heels, a faceful of brilliantly done drag makeup, and an arrow through his shoulder.

All coupled with the greatest look of compressed rage and/or constipation that Kirishima had ever seen.

"Dude..."

"NO. QUESTIONS. ASKED."

That was all Kirishima needed to burst into hard, raucous laughter.

He was partially thankful for the arrow in Bakugou's shoulder, it meant he couldn't blow him up while he was in one of the most vulnerable positions of his life; belly-up on the floor, cackling like a maniac, tears streaming down his face and blurring his vision. The other patrons were giving him the stink eye, but he couldn't help himself. Every time he got close to calming down, he'd look at Bakugou and lose his mind again.

"Asahi Tanaka?" A nurse called.

Bakugou grunted as he stood. "Yeah, that's me."

Kirishima promptly calmed down and got up, following Bakugou and the nurse into one of the exam rooms.

"Please sit down Mr. Tanaka, a doctor will be with you soon."

Bakugou got onto the exam table, being careful of the arrow as he did so. Kirishima sat down on one of the chairs next to it.

"So, are you gonna tell the truth? Cause I could leave if-!"

"Like fuck I'm telling them what happened. This is something I'm taking to my fuckin' grave." Bakugou replied. "I called you cause I have no cash. I'll pay you back later."

Kirishima nodded. "Okay, what do you want to tell them? I'll back you up."

"I don't give a shit," Bakugou groaned, adjusting his position. "Just make something up."

The door swung open then and a young woman in a lab coat walked in. "Hello gentlemen, I'm Dr. Suzuki, either of you care to tell me what happened?"

"Uhh... Jell-O making accident." Kirishima said, after a considerable pause.

Dr. Suzuki's face went perfectly neutral. "It's three in the morning, and you're telling me that this happened while you were making Jell-O?"

"Yes." Kirishima and Bakugou said in unison.

There was far too long a silence as Dr. Suzuki stared at them.

"I believe you two about as much as I believe all of the men who have come in to have various household objects removed from their rectums saying that they 'fell' on them... But I don't get paid to ask for details, I get paid to solve problems." Suzuki's face was completely deadpan. "Now, let's get rid of this arrow."

Forty-five minutes later and the boys found themselves in a cab back to the dorms. Bakugou had scrubbed off the majority of his makeup and taken Kirishima's hoodie to wear in case they got caught.

"How's your arm?" Kirishima asked quietly.

"'S fine." Bakugou replied. "I'll take an Advil or some shit when we get back."

"You have the antibiotics that the nurse gave you?"

Bakugou waved the packet in his face then shoved it back into his pocket. They spent the rest of the ride in near silence, then trudged the last block back to UA.

Once back inside, the two parted ways; Bakugou immediately went for a shower while Kirishima went to grab a bottle of water from the kitchen.

Later on, as Kirishima was getting into bed for a second time, he heard a slight thump against his door. He walked over to his door and opened it, finding nothing but a sticky note stuck to it in haphazard Bakugou fashion.

Wasn't hard for cash, just didn't want to be alone. Thanks.

Kirishima tried to ignore the warmth blooming in his chest. Regardless of the nature of their relationship, Kirishima was the one that Bakugou calls on when he's scared.

That was all he needed.