For You,' |SparklingHerb Smut-Angst|

🌱 I'm Scared But That's Okay 🌱

This book may contain the following: cussing/swearing, suicidal language, mentioning of the use of drugs or other chemicals, abuse, and mentioning of rape. If any of these things cause you disturbance or cringe, you are welcome to leave. Thank you!

'Herb POV '

That was so embarrassing!

Though a bit blurry (probably because of my tears), I still remember everything clearly. The way the bartender hugged me... the confused look on the small boy's face... and most of all, the presence of Drunk-ass Pedo. 

I don't think I'll ever go back to that bar again. Does he work there? Maybe he's just a regular there. Luckily he didn't see me, probably because he was too drunk.

But... that wasn't what scared me the most. It was the tension in that bar. The way that blonde-haired bartender hugged me... it- it... it felt different than a normal hug. And with Drunk-ass Pedo being there I-

I couldn't just sit there and wait around. But... I need to apologize to that nice bartender. He's probably so confused as to what had happened.

I got up from the chair and grabbed my phone. Today's Sunday, and the flower shop's closed for today. I'm not in the mood for gardening either. I walked out of the door and took a stroll outside. I watched the birds... the skies... even the laughing children that ate cotton candy besides the riverbank. I felt happy seeing others enjoying their life to the fullest.

I stopped at a park bench, sitting down. I looked into the sky, wondering if the nice bartender was happy right now too. I took out my phone and started scrolling through Pinterest. I love scrolling through it when I have the time- it gets me inspired to do the things I like. Time seemed the least of my worries.

Suddenly, someone sat next to me. I looked over, my eyes slowly widened.

"Good day, isn't it? I'd love for everyday to be like this, but well, I guess things can't be perfect."

That voice. It was the nice bartender. I can tell he was tired and out of breathe- almost like he was... running? I don't know. But he was sweating, yet he acted composed and as if nothing worried him. 

"Y-yeah... uhm... hey, I'm sorry for yesterday." I quickly looked back down at my hands. I didn't want him to see my face- I was too embarrassed. But even so, I could feel by cheeks getting hotter and hotter with every second. Was it because he was there?

He didn't respond for a second. That made me scared. But then he started laughing. I watched him laugh and laugh until tears were starting to form on the edge of his eyes, then he turn and smiled at me. He smiled at me.

I opened my mouth to speak. No words came out. What's happening to me? My hearts beating so fast! I-It's almost like it's gonna pump out of my chest.

"Sparkling," he said, "Sparkling's the name, bartendering's my game. What about you?"

I muttered: "h...herb." "Hm? Sorry, can you repeat that?" "I... I said Herb. I-It's nice to...meet you."

I watched as he scooted closer to me, taking out his phone, and nudging me to take it out of his hands. I slowly reached out for it, and as I did, I felt the tip of a warm, rough finger touch mine. I felt myself blush, but then quickly snatched the phone away.

I stared at the screen. Ah... he want's me to type my number. I silently started to type it out. But in the corner of my sight, I saw a pair of beautiful eyes staring at me the whole time. My mind was going crazy.

What was this feeling?