New Heights

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

I didn’t know what to do; I didn’t know what to think. I felt numb again, Nathan had been the antidote to my pain - or he at least help to subsidise it – but now he had gone again the pain, as well as the heartbreak was taking over me again and this time I had no pain relief. That was it, I feared that Nathan and I were over; he had no reason to stay. I had caused him so much pain I wouldn’t be surprized if he didn’t want to be with me.

But the thing that hurt the most was the fact I loved him with everything I had, he grounded me and kept me floating on air the whole time I’ve been with him, that this hard nightmare has hurdled me straight to the ground with an almighty oomph. Some part of me still had hope that it was just the initial shock that had caused such a reaction, but the memory of his face haunted me. He had looked at me in a way of disgust, hatred flaring at me, the phrase ‘if looks could kill’ were definitely accurate.

But it was Nathan Sykes, baby Nath, Sid the Sloth, my Nath, he was my everything and now he was gone, all because of my own stupidity and I was left to suffer the consequences, alone.

My parents tried to cheer me up, they made me have a shower- though even that didn’t help. They gave me all the junk food I could have ever wanted, but that didn’t help.  They put on my favourite TV show – An Idiot Abroad, but even that failed to put a smile on my face (which was a big thing to say how funny it was). Even though I was seeing all these different things going on around me I wasn’t really looking, not concentrating on what was around me and only Nathan and Bubba circled my mind.

It was in those moments where you saw why people did those things to hurt themselves, to try and find another cure for the pain and heart-break. Even though I wouldn’t resort to doing those dark things the thoughts entered my mind and that was what scared me the most. It scared me just how much I liked Nathan, scratch that loved Nathan. It scared me how much I relied on him, trusted him, cared about him, most of all it scared me just how much my world revolved around him. Who knew one boy, and more importantly a member of one of the most famous pop bands at this minute, could have such an effect on me.

It made me feel stupid that I was reacting this way, but I couldn’t control it. It was like my body wanted to fail and not listen to me just because Nathan had walked out on me when I needed him the most. But it was your fault. With everything I thought that sentence always seemed to creep up, I hated myself, I really did. I hated absolutely everything about myself, I was a bad person and I deserved all this, but the pain was too much to handle. It was like breaking your leg and not having any pain relief.

I shuffled downstairs to the kitchen ignoring the stares from my parents from the living room; I opened the cupboard and fumbled through the boxes until I found what I was looking for at the back of the shelf tucked away. I read the instructions and did as it said, taking one small white tablet out of the packaging and grabbing a glass of water before taking it back upstairs to my room.

Once I was sat on my bed glaring at the devil in disguise looking back at me in the mirror I lifted the tablet to my mouth and drowned it with the fresh cold water. I could feel them mix together as they went down my throat.

I lay back, my head against the pillow waiting for the sleeping tablet to take effect, I didn’t want to hurt myself so I only took the recommended dose (though the thought was tempting) but I didn’t want to be awake to relive this nightmare, I wanted to sleep, to be someplace different away from my own troubles.

It didn’t take too long for the drowsiness to sink in; before I knew it I was away with the fairies in a magical land, far away from the nightmare of reality. The only thing that reminded me of Nathan was the fly that flew past me as I lay back on the sunny beach.

A/N – Hey guys! So I know this chapter was short but since it was kind of depressing I didn’t really want to make it too long! Aha! J I also feel I should put a warning out there not to take sleeping pills unless you are advised too, wouldn’t want anything bad happening now would we?! Anyway it was short and hopefully sweet (in a weird way) so let me know what you think, comment, vote, fan and I’ll see you guys next Friday! S x