Pocket Thief [Katakuri x Reader]

3.5 Pranks Have Consequences

"YOU SICK FUCKS-" you shout in a blind rage, rushing up from your kneeling position. "They're just little girls, take me instead-!" you struggle to get past the guards, stabbing you in the leg before you could get any further.

It's difficult to fall asleep once the night terror dispelled from your body. You raise your knees to press them to your chest, resting your head sideways, just staring quietly at the nightlight beside you. A personal reminder that you're not in that place.

The shadows drag behind you as you make your way to the kitchen, your dry throat begging for a glass of substance. At this point it's inevitable for the memories to start bleeding through, the people you failed, the chunks of yourself left behind. The fridge's light reflects your somber face as you eye the single bottle of alcohol in an otherwise empty fridge, your fingers graze the neck of the bottle, but you know better and close the thing. Preferring to drink from the water tap like a dog left out in the sun, anything is better than falling back into bad habits. You slump your upper body on the tiny counter top, drenched and sleep deprived. Slowly but surely your quirky personality came resurfacing back, tapping your index finger rhythmically while you contemplate your new distraction for today. The trip back to your dark bedroom proved uneventful, stumping your toe against the edge of something metallic  "Argh for the love of-!" You squint your eyes to better adjust to the dim light, spotting the intrusive paint can poking from under your bed, it's probably a leftover from the many times you've remodeled your bakery. "Wait," the guinea pig on a running wheel inside your brain is coming up with an idea, crouching under your bed to look for more paint cans.

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It's a lovely sunny day except for the janitorial staff of the big mom pirates, equipping themselves with cleaning gear such as sponges, buckets and water hoses as they scrub deep into the exterior chateau walls. Katakuri is the first minister to arrive to the crime scene, especially after hearing what was graffiti onto the walls. The face of a laughing cartoonish rabbit.

"What do you think perrorin?" Perospero asks with a raised eyebrow analyzing the destruction on their property. "It looks like ordinary vandalism to me but-"

"No one is stupid or suicidal enough to graffiti the chateau on purpose." Katakuri finishes Perospero's sentence, basically thinking the same thing.

"A threat of sorts?"

Katakuri studies the amateur and borderline childish illustrations, he closes his eyes whilst shaking his head. "Worst," he frowns, meeting the inanimate stare of the rabbit doodle. "Someone is making fun of us."

If there's any redeeming qualities about your empty bakery it's the fact that the lone building is perfect for sleeping in, laying your head on top of you crossed arms. Your snoring is the only thing roaming around the building in contrast to the bustling pier outside, you're so used to the background noise that you fail to register the bell chime from the front entrance. "Excuse me." Someone coughs. There's a guard shaped as a chess piece standing in front of your counter, an irregular sight for sure but you've woken up to stranger things. Although you didn't hear them come in, the tugging on your sleeve is enough to jolt you awake, wiping the drool from the corner of your mouth as you greet your costumer. "Why, yes hello! What can I help you with?"

The chess piece stands proud and firmly, pulling out a rolled up manuscript with the mom pirates crest printed on the back. Talk about keeping up appearances. "An order of 'improvised herbal tea' is requested by the prime Minister of Flour, if the demand isn't complied by 2pm-" the man read out from the scroll, but all you did was roll your eyes.

"I get it! I get it! I'll get my head chopped off or my soul sucked through my ass." You interrupt the chess piece, tying up your hair before entering the kitchen. You start picking out your selection of herbs hanging from the high shelves, grabbing a specific fruit from the fridge to give it a whiff. "Smells like it's already fermenting," you're displeased with the item, feigning theatrics that matches the chess guard. "Oh! But the minister of wheat only deserves the freshest of ingredients, why else would he order from my humble establishment~?" you double check the kitchen door before creating a small portal to what looks like a jungle, plucking the same fruit from a tree before shutting the portal, and just in time too!

"What's taking so long?" the guard peeks into the kitchen.

A baker's kitchen is like a girl's bathroom, it's private and only for those you give consent to. You shriek like he walked on you naked and smack him away, mostly because in this case you can't have anyone finding out about your devil fruit. "You don't have permission to access my kitchen!" you push the guard away, hearing him nag at you.

"Lord Katakuri's order is of utmost importance!"

"Then it's up to you explain to lord Katakuri why his tea came out sour!" you shout back, not listening to the guard respond. "That's what I thought." You huff, going back to work.

After boiling the water with the herbs and dipping the fruit's peel into the broth, you let it cool off for five minutes before pouring it in a proper container that should keep it warm, along with tossing a few complementary cookies to the bag. "Here you go sir," you place the order on the counter. "Good, the big mom pirates will be satisfied with your compliance." But before the guard could grab it you swipe it away from his reach.

"Wait, why didn't the sweet commander come for the order himself?" you ask all of a sudden.
"Lord Katakuri is a busy man, he doesn't have time to fetch beverages from commoners." The guard tried to grab the bag from you but you raise it over his head.
There are worst things to be called, but it still irks you to an extent. "Commoner huh? Well, this commoner wants to deliver it to him personally." You reaffirm like the little shit you are, making things difficult for everyone.
"That's highly unlikely, citizens aren't allowed inside the château." The guard starts to get annoyed at your antics, hand twitching to use the weapon on his hip.
"Then at least let me join you to the entrance." You haggle, something the guard seems to consider. "Fine, it's your time not mine."

Indeed the walk to Whole Cake Château is nothing but a waste of time for you, but listening to the big mom pirates complain and try to clean the graffiti from the castle walls made it worth the hassle. A snicker crosses through your mouth, quickly hiding it when someone bumps against you. "Excuse me perrorin," they say, before taking a better look at you. "Hmm what's a civilian doing on castle grounds?" the man with a long tongue addresses you with interest.

"I'm... I'm a baker. The minister of wheat ordered something from my establishment and I felt so honored I wanted to deliver it myself." You shrink in on yourself, making yourself look as meek as possible like any civilian. Sure, you fake ignorance with Katakuri and give him a bit of an attitude but his older brother is a different story. Perospero considers your confession but he soon dismissed you in favor of the guard piece.
"She insisted on walking here." The guard states with the same firm tone he used at your bakery.
"I see, then this is as far as you get. Civilians aren't allowed inside the Château." Perospero orders, not even staying around to listen to your response.
"But I-" you start, knowing full well the Charlotte won't listen to the likes of you, earning a satisfied grin from the guard. You turn your head to the Chateau's entrance, gaining a good view of the hallway that leads to the courtyard, and most importantly to the giant cake that has Big Mom's name written all over it. "I'll be taking my leave then." you perform a curtly bow at the eldest Charlotte, it wasn't until your back is to him that your devilish grin came back.

Back inside Whole Cake Chateau, the guard holding Katakuri's tea walks pass another group of guards delivering a giant cake, nodding to each other in a silent greeting before going their separate ways. The chess piece knocks at Katakuri's door, standing there patiently while waiting for permission. "Come in," the guard is quick to walk in, place the bag on a table and leave without another word.

"So this is the tea you're obsessed with?" Perospero asks, watching Katakuri remove his scarf so he can serve their drinks.

"I'm not obsessed with it. It's the baker who refuses to sell me the recipe." Katakuri says, the frown on his face explaining it all. The taller man hands his brother his cup of tea, taking a whiff of the liquid before placing it to his lips.
"Hmm~ no wonder you like it so much perrorin." Perospero sighs in delight, his long nails reaching for a cookie that came with the tea, stopping midway due to Katakuri's warning. "I wouldn't eat those if I were you. The tea is fine but the pastries are inedible." he takes a sip from his own cup.

There's a smile itching on Perospero's lips as he mentally connects the dots. Katakuri rarely opens up to everyone in his family let alone know of his secret, and one of those siblings he holds in high regard is Perospero where Brulee comes in second and finally his twin brothers Daifuku and Oven. "Oh my, don't tell me it's the same baker from your island?" he chuckles. The laugh grows in volume when Katakuri responds with an annoyed nod. "That's rich! It's hard to believe someone irritates you on purpose, any civilian with common sense fears the sight of the big mom pirates, let alone a sweet commander. If I wouldn't know any better I'd say she's trying to catch your attention like a kindergartener."

Katakuri quickly brushes the idea, instead focusing on the reason he invited Perospero to this tea party. "Do you know what's in the tea or not?"
Perospero takes a longer sip from the beverage, smacking his lips together while he shuts his eyes in thought. "Despite it's sweetness there's a citric fruit mixed in, I can't place the name of it but it isn't from any of our territories because I would've picked it up sooner."

"If it's a type of juice then we can still obtain it from external sellers." Katakuri leans forward, interested in breaking the code that's your secret formula, at least that way he'd have a one up over you. Perospero shakes his head. "No, if it were the direct juice it would taste stronger and sour the whole thing. Maybe she uses the seeds?" The Big Mom pirates are, well, pirates. If they want more ideas they'd have to ask an expert on the topic, either way it's not like it's ruining the afternoon tea time. Nope, that happened when Big Mom's shriek echoes through the Chateau, both brothers standing up in alarm.

"WHERE'S MY CAKEY!?" Big mom shouts through the halls, the wrath of her hunger pains causing havoc to her staff and family.
Katakuri and Perospero barge into the hall, watching members of the family rush past them to calm down Big Mom. The eldest redirects his attention to a scared chess piece guard, the same one present during the cake delivery. "You there, what happened to mama's afternoon cake?"

"Perospero sir! I-it was here a second ago, we were hauling it past the Chateau entrance when it disappeared." the guard stays firm, no matter how much his legs tremble.
"Disappeared?!"
"Yes sir. I turned my back from it and it vanished, the other witnesses say it looked like it fell down a hole in the ground but there's no markings on the floor." the distress on the chess guard matches the one on the other staff members, listening to them get thrown around as mama demands her cake .

Perospero turns to Katakuri but he's quick to answer without being asked. "THAT DAMNNED THIEF."

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You drag your finger across the icing splayed on the cake's surface, placing it in your mouth before humming in delight. "Delicious~ something a lowly commoner like me would never get the chance to taste." you jest, walking around the kitchen of your bakery before sitting on a swivel chair like a well choreographed super villain. While keeping a giant cake for yourself is nice there's nothing sweeter than watching the result of your mischief, grabbing your coat, locking up your bakery and making way to the crime scene like any respectable criminal would. You expect to see big mom pirates humorously panicking back and forth but instead you're met with destroyed buildings and terrified civilians. Not the fun scenery your were expecting. "Um excuse me," you try to gain information from anyone in the crowd but they kept running past you without a second thought. Eventually you grab someone by the forearm, lifting them in the air due to the momentum as their body come to an abrupt stop. "Hey, what's going on?" you finally ask. "Big mom is having a hunger pains! She goes into a frenzy when she has an unfulfilled craving." a chunk of a building falls a meter away from you two, scaring the man as you remain unaffected, you release your grip on his forearm to allow him escape.

"Oh wow she really is like an overgrown brat." you shake your head, walking through the ruckus like a carefree soul. You catch your reflection on a window, surprise it's still intact, the glass pane is cracked, making it look like you're slit in half. "It isn't my fault they can't take a prank." you defend, crossing your arms over your chest. The road is deserted from any bystanders, realizing you're the only mad man willing to stand in the middle of a kaiju attack. Using the carefully placed rubble as a staircase, you hop onto a balcony for a better view, the big mom pirates attempts to stall their own mother with either food based devil fruits or any weapon at hand, but apparently Lin lin's bad mood doesn't discriminate between allies or foes, you're surprised to see with your own eyes that it includes her own family. This expedition sucked out the fun from you, in fact it's kind of sad. "But it's still not my fault." you continue to deny it, even as you watch the Charlottes get thrown away like rag dolls down the street next to you, more noticeably a girl with magenta hair and a man made of whipped cream. A new challenger approaches, one noticeable Charlotte Katakuri uses his mochi to restrain one of Big Mom's arms while a string of clear caramel takes a hold of the other.

"Mama please calm down! the chefs are already baking another cake." the one you recognize as Perospero tries to reason with his mother, but she ignores him like any child going through a tantrum. "I WANT MY CAKEY!" You wince when she breaks free from Katakuri's hold and throws him a good distance away. Knowing the man, you know he'll be fine. "Ugh, I dislike family drama." Having already seeing enough you jump off the balcony and leave down the street you came from, unfortunately the only thing standing between you and the comfort of your shop are the different Charlotte family members lingering on the ground. You side step over their unconscious bodies, muttering small apologies when you accidentally step on them and groan in response. If it wasn't of them you would've used your devil fruit long ago, but like said before, you can't risk getting caught. Just when you celebrate your escape there's a single voice calling out to you. "Help me please!" the voice belongs to a kid, rushing to you with tears in their face. "Miss, please help me. My brother is trapped under a pile of rubble." They plead you with scared eyes that that fuel your internal guilt, feeling more uncomfortable about the situation.
"Sure... take me to where he's at." You begrudgingly accept, unwilling to leave this kid alone and afraid. While you remove handfuls of rock and concrete with your bare hands the kid does his best and removes one rock at a time, watching his soft hands fill with blisters and scraps. "Hey kid, I have this under control. How about you look around the area and fetch one of the big mom pirates? I'm sure they'll be of equal help." The kid brightens up as if he hadn't thought of the idea.

"Your right! My siblings are strong enough to help!" with that the kid runs off, leaving you to grumble under your breath.

"Greaaat, I can't believe I'm helping Big Mom's kids." You huff in annoyance, contemplating on leaving. The ground under you shakes momentarily, listening to ridiculously loud stomach growls just around the corner. "Speak about the devil..." you keep pushing aside the rubble piercing the skin on your hands, finally finding the brother crushed by a larger slate of concrete with bent metal rods sticking in various directions. Feeling a sense of urgency with every step Big Mom takes in your direction you try to raise the slab with your bare hands but it scraps your already hurt hands, unwilling to get hurt by helping a Charlotte. "I'll just drag you out." You raise the slab a few centimeters from the ground with a single arm while the other grabs hold of the brother to pull him out, gaining a pained groan from him. He's stuck. You crouch down to see a metal rod pierced his abdomen, keeping him in place. "Shit," you wanted to curse other obscenities but the kid came back sooner than expected.
"Hold on Raisin! One of our brothers is coming to help." the kid shouts, grabbing onto his brother's hands.

"CAKEY!!" Big Mom's wailing bounces off the buildings and lands on the street you're on, using your hands to cover the sides of your head since you like keeping your eardrums intact. "We're getting out of here kid." You swipe up the little fella in your arms but he was making things harder for you by squirming and crying.
"Nooo, I'm not leaving my siblings behind! They'll get crushed by mama!" he insists. You turn to look at the unconscious Charlottes, the only thing keep you away from Big Mom is the building between you two, grimacing as she takes a bite from the cupcake shaped building.
You go back and forth.