Saving Panic's! Ryan

Chapter 9

I wasn't picturing it for long though. Before I knew it, Ryan was back at my doorstep again.

"I've changed my mind," he says when I open the door. "I'm going to call and cancel our show. Maybe we can postpone our show until tomorrow. I just want to stay one more day."

I was shocked. "Are you sure? I don't want you to cancel your entire show just because of me."

"I've never been more sure of anything before," he said as he dialed his phone.

Ryan and I seemed to be alike in one way. We had barely known each other 48 hours, yet we had completely fallen for one another. It was nice to know that I wasn't the only one who had such strong feelings after such a short amount of time.

Someone must have answered on the other line. Ryan was quiet for a moment before he began explaining things. "Hey, dude! Listen, so... I was wondering if we could reschedule the show tomorrow because-" He must've been cut off. He nodded. "Yeah, I understand that but-" More silence. "No, I'm not sick. It's just that something came up and-"

I stood there nervously, wringing out my hands. Things did not seem to be going well.

"No, no. I don't want you to have to do the show without me. I- hello? Hello?" He looked at his phone again before mumbling to himself, then he shoved his phone back in his pocket.

"So, how did it go?" I casually asked. "Who did you speak with?"

"Brendon," Ryan spat. "I wanted to get his opinion before I had anyone reschedule our show and he completely flipped out on me. I could barely even get a word out. I guess they're going to do the show without me. I didn't want that. I don't know how they're going to get another guitar player on such short notice."

He paced around the family room before continuing. "If I would've known he was going to react like that, I wouldn't have even bothered trying to reschedule. I mean, we are going to see each other this weekend. I just wanted one more day together, that's all. Brendon wouldn't even hear me out, you know? What if something had happened? What if there was a serious reason that I had to cancel? He wouldn't even listen to me though! He was too selfish to even think of that. All he could think about is the fact that I was inconveniencing him."

I stepped over to Ryan in an attempt to calm him down. "It's not too late to change your mind and smooth things over."

"No!" He shouted. "I'm tired of Brendon always getting his way. You know what? I hope it does inconvenience him."

"I'm sure he'll cool down in a little bit," I reasoned. Ryan just scoffed. I decided to change the subject to lighten the mood a little. "Wanna watch a movie in the family room? We haven't been able to do that yet!" I tried to sound enthusiastic, but I'm sure it sounded insincere. I couldn't help but feel selfish myself. I was worried that I had gotten in the way of Ryan and his band. I didn't want to mess up his future. I didn't want him to have a bad reputation when it came to cancelling shows. I wanted Panic! At The Disco to get the recognition they deserved, but how could they do that if band members were constantly flaking out on them? Maybe I was just being dramatic again. I mean, everyone has to cancel shows every now and then, right? Right?

Ryan broke me out of my thoughts. "Abby? Is that alright?"

I shook my head a little. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I said we can watch a movie, but I was wondering if I could take a shower first since I'm going to be on the road all day tomorrow. I figured now would be a good time since we didn't have to tip toe around your dad. Is that alright?"

"Oh, yeah. That's fine!"

He smiled. "Great! Pick out a good movie for us!" He walked down the hall.

"I will," I mumbled, knowing he didn't hear me. Why did things have to be so complicated? Can we turn yesterday back around? I want it to be Sunday morning again. I want Ryan and I to be having the time of our lives with pancake mix. I want to feel carefree.