My Autobiography

Chapter 6: Unfinished Sentences

Whenever it comes to worrying, I usually worry about my mental health. My mental health hasn't always been the best, but when a big tragedy happened to me when I was a young teen, my mental health took a toll for the worse. It has most definitely improved within the years, but I still struggle here and there. I really just worry about it because I do not want to do something that would be bad for myself or my loved ones. Mental health is something you will fight and deal with for your entire life.

I tend to be moody when people don't treat me right or think it's ok to treat my friends or family poorly. When I'm moody, it goes between 'sassy and classy' and 'attitude and snappy'. In today's world, people think it's ok to just do whatever they want, to say whatever they think in their minds. I'm most definitely the opposite of that, so I hope people will understand that whenever I become moody, that they will understand to not do the actions they think is ok.

I always feel frustrated whenever I don't get something right. It could be my homework assignment, it could be a big at home project of mine, or even if I'm in a classroom and learning a topic, and I try to answer the question and the teacher says that the answer is incorrect. That kind of frustration isn't seen as often as some other kinds of frustration. Of course, I really don't want to go into that, because I know for a fact that talking about the other kind of frustration would take days, if not weeks to cover.

I'm comfortable when I'm in a quiet room with a few snack foods by myself. The piercing sound of silence helps me calm my mind, while the snack foods, well, keep me company. I like to compare this scene to an episode of Spongebob Squarepants, where Spongebob was very badly hurt, so he went into his home where it was quiet, and had a potato chip, a penny, and a used napkin. Of course, the difference between me and Spongebob is that I don't talk to the food, but I eat it, and I also don't take a used napkin or a penny with me. It wouldn't be a bad idea to try it though now, would it?

I feel sentimental whenever I see or find something that belonged to my Mother. Five years ago, she suffered what is called a brain-stem stroke, where she succumbed to complications a month later and passed away. I always fought to keep whatever it is I could keep that was hers. While I got to take and keep a good ninety-percent of her belongings, I shared some of the photos and kitchen utensils with her sisters, and a few other things. It really brought me to a realization that the belongings of ones that are no longer with us will eventually hold a value that no one else can comprehend but yourself. Many of the things that were hers, such as a big photo frame that had me as a baby in it, a popcorn maker, and her original clear bronze colored pot that she would use to make her tea in, I still have all of those today. She was the only big part in my life, and I've been rebuilding my life ever since she passed.

I feel angry whenever someone decides to mess with me or my family. Would you want someone to call you names, or to attempt to hit you, or attack you on social media? If not, then this is exactly why you don't do anything of that sort, because you'll only anger the person(s) involved, and it's happened to me so many times that if it was to happen to me again, I become a completely different person than the happy and cheerful person I am.

I'm happiest whenever I'm around my cousin, Lauren. Although we both give each other our space to be with friends, we both like to hang out from time to time, as cousins of course. Her and I have been around and bonded with each other since we were both in diapers. She's only one year younger than me, and she was born in June, while I was born in May. My Mother would babysit her whenever her Mother had to work, which was a lot. So in return, Lauren and I have always had this 'sister and brother' relationship. I consider her my sister from another mister, only because we both know each other way too well. Whenever we talk or even hang out for a small bit, we both smile and have a good time, and that's all that matters to me, and I bet that's all that matters to her as well.

I feel peaceful whenever I'm sleeping. I know, this sounds quite interesting. Sleeping is perhaps the most peaceful thing in the world, but there are times in which it is not. I like to sleep with a background of rain and thunder playing. The smooth sound of the rain and thunder helps me relax and make my mind in peace a little easier, so it becomes much easier to actually fall asleep. When I wake up the next morning, I feel more refreshed than if I wasn't to have teh background of rain and thunder playing.

I get depressed when I see hard reminders of my Mother or my dog, Lady. Those two in my life were all I practically had, and when they both passed, it left a really big hole in my heart that I still try to fill. While a small part of the hole is filled, there is a very small empty void that I do not know if it will ever get filled. If not, I always tell myself that it's because you were loved so much, and you will never get to feel that same love again.

I always get nervous when something doesn't feel right in the room, or if someone is acting strange. I try to steer away from people who are extremely weird, because I do not need all the anxiety from one singular individual doing a multitude of tasks that make absolutely no sense. When it comes to a room not feeling right, it's the vibe and energy of the room. If you're at a concert, the vibe and energy will most likely be positive, dancing and cheering, all that fun stuff. But if you're put inside a haunted house by yourself, the vibe and energy will be negative, it's creepy and horrifying, and you'd most likely be scared for your life. I did a haunted house one time and I nearly screamed both my lungs out.

I tend to feel crazy whenever someone is acting like a goofball. My craziness is more negative than positive. If someone is to drive me crazy,

I get really mad and upset, and sometimes I even get the strong feeling to yell at whoever is driving me crazy to stop. Of course, I do my very best to not yell if someone is driving me crazy, simply because they would take it as a 'reaction', and therefore would continue their actions to drive me crazy. Even though it isn't actual bullying, the handling of those situations I handle as bullying. I don't like bullying, so perhaps that could be why I do not like when people think it is ok to drive me absolutely crazy. But, it is just the way of life, and not only myself, but everyone around me or even in the world deals with it on a daily basis, so it is something that we all must embrace.