Alexis

Concezione

Conception

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Song- Tangled, Maroon Five

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"And say unto the Ammonites, Hear the word of the Lord GOD; Thus saith the Lord GOD; Because thou sadist, Aha, against my sanctuary, when it was profaned; and against the land of Israel, when it was desolate; and against the house of Judah, when they went into captivity."

Ezekiel (25:3)

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Dante's words did affect me. Self-doubt started to simmer in me. I dismissed myself from the room shortly after Dante said that. I told him that I was going to bed because I was tired.

I was tired but I didn't sleep. I just crawled in bed to think about his words. At least, I planned to lay and think. However, I didn't think for long because my mind drifted and I ended up sleeping. I only slept for an hour before I naturally woke up. I felt exhausted but after laying there for twenty minutes, I figured I'd stand up. I migrated downstairs. It smelled good: steak and garlic green beans.

Dante and Beatrice were in the kitchen, laughing. They looked so happy. Beatrice looked over when I walked into the kitchen. I didn't think my steps were that loud. Dante followed her gaze. His smile was still evident although he tried to stifle it.

"Hey, kiddo. We made dinner if you want anything. I thought you were sleeping," he noted.

"I was," I confirmed.

Quietly, I got a plate. Dante took it from me when I turned back around, and Dante gave it to Beatrice. She put food on my plate before passing it down the assembly line. I mumbled a "thank you", suddenly feeling too awkward to speak around them. The food looked so good. The steak could be in a magazine for fine dining. I typically didn't like warm green beans but these changed my mind. They were so juicy and flavorful. Just smelling them made my mouth water with eager saliva. I sat at the island without any words, and I ate before I went back upstairs.

I changed into a loose long-sleeve shirt for bed. I didn't wear a bra. My bra made my already-hurting-breasts hurt more. My breasts felt somewhat better against the fabric of my shirt. It felt like a hug– the perfect type of hug. Not too tight and not too loose. I felt as if I haven't been hugged in a while. I didn't want to be touched though. Was that normal?

I would let my dad hug me. . . .

I brushed my teeth and my hair before I sank under the covers. For a moment, I just lay on my back. My whole body felt content. The small cramps in my abdomen didn't bother me at the moment because of how plushy my bed was. As heavy as my eyes were, I didn't want to sleep on my back. I wanted something to hold, and I wanted to be held– somewhat. Usually, that would be Vincent but he wasn't here tonight. I turned and grabbed a pillow. I hugged a pillow to my chest as I started to doze off, my lips slightly parted. It was easy to slip asleep when my bed was comfortable.

My dry throat, nausea, and bladder woke me up. I sighed and hauled myself out of bed to the bathroom. I waited for, like, ten minutes but I never threw up. I gave up, used the toilet, and left to go downstairs to get water. All the lights were turned off. I didn't care. I could make my way around without the lights being not off.

A stair creaked under me as I descended them. I walked into the kitchen, my steps inaudible, and turned on the light so I could see what cup to grab. When I turned around, I jumped, my hand flying to my mouth to hold in any noise.

Luckily it was just Vincent in the kitchen. My eyes met his before they naturally trailed down. Air locked in my lungs. My eyes stayed on the carmine stains as if his shirt was white icing that needed to be dyed.