Alexis

Libro

Book

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"Unto the men of the east with the Ammonites, and will give them in possession, that the Ammonites may not be remembered among the nations."

Ezekiel (25:10)

I was writing in my journal. I needed to figure out all of my possible allies. I needed to know my dad's circle. I knew Lorenzo was my dad's best friend. Andy is his lawyer. Matteo is a bodyguard. Giovanni is dad's personal bodyguard. Vincent is his friend.

God, who else was there? I felt like I used to know a lot of people that my dad knew. Why couldn't I remember them when I needed to? Why was my memory failing me? Why, hippocampus, why?

Needing to learn more, I stood up to leave my room. Before I left, I finished the rest of the scotch that was in my glass and brought my notebook because I wanted to take notes in my dad's study. I wouldn't want to remove anything without his permission. I left my room, leaving the door open behind me because I knew that I wasn't going to take long. Although, when I got in front of the door to my dad's first office, I paused. Little Alexis would always come into this room and see dad at his desk. If he wasn't in here, She'd go downstairs and find him in his other office. Teenage Alexis would do the same thing. I was still Those Girls, somewhat. I might not be Them anymore but I still experienced the same emotions and events that they did. Looking back, I felt They had a better handle on everything that life offers. It felt wrong for me to enter dad's office– well, no, actually, it felt wrong for me to go into dad's office and not see my dad.

I nervously nibbled on my lip as I turned the black knob to open the dark Mahogany door. The first thing I noticed was my dad's smell. It lingered in the air despite its dormant state for the last few weeks. I closed the door behind me to preserve the natural smell. I walked over to my dad's desk. On top were some scattered papers with a red wine stain. I didn't remember why the papers were stained but it made me feel uneasy. I quickly glanced over the words to see if it was important for me to know. It didn't look like anything that I came for so I tore my eyes away from it. I started by carefully picking up some papers on his desk. When I learned that they weren't important for my current goal, I put them back down exactly as I found them.

The desk didn't provide much so I moved to the drawers. I started on the right side. There were three drawers. The top two were smaller than the bottom one, which was taller to store those long yellow mailing envelopes or crepe-colored folders that my English teachers used to separate different assignments. In the top drawer, there were post-it notes, extra pens (he had a pen holder on his desk), a spare wallet, business cards to his establishments that he owned (they were all neatly sectioned off), a Blackberry, and a small flip phone. I didn't know dad had a flip phone. Well, actually, yes, I did. I didn't know he kept it. I didn't know he kept both of his old phones. I wondered if he'd have contacts in them that would benefit my mission?

I grabbed the Blackberry and turned it on. I had to wait for a moment before the screen lit up. I was surprised it was charged. The battery symbol at the top indicated that it was at 50%. I'd have to charge it later. The background on the Blackberry was a picture of Frediano and Little Alexis at Clearwater beach in Florida. I was five, Frediano was eight. I quickly found his contacts. 

I wrote down every name.

Adam

Andrew

Andy

Andy K.

Angelo

Ben

Bill

Carlo

Danny

Giovanni

Leonardo

Lorenzo

Marie

That was the end of the list. It was short. I wondered if Andy, Giovanni, and Lorenzo were the same people that I knew today. I wondered if Marie was my mother. It had to be, right? How many other Marie's did he know? How many other Lorenzos and Giovannis did he know? He knew more than one Andy so I had to question that.

I guess I could check numbers?

When I finished writing down all the names and numbers, I grabbed his flip phone. The picture on the front was one of Frediano as a baby. The names in the flip phone were similar to the ones on the Blackberry, there were just fewer.

Andrew

Andy

Carlo

Flavia

Giovanni

Lorenzo

Hmm. . . . Who's Flavia? Why did that name sound familiar? Why was my mother's name not on this phone? Was it before dad met her? Flavia. . . where did I hear that before?

Frediano's mother!

My memory was really failing me here. I put away dad's phone. I moved to the second drawer. It was mainly envelopes and paper. There was a checkbook, too. I moved to the last drawer. My knees were hurting so I sat down instead. There were some larger yellow envelopes but there were only a few. There was a thick book behind it. Curious, I picked it up. It looked like a scrapbook. A thick scrapbook. I didn't know dad scrapbooked? I looked at the front. My name was spelled in cursive letters. Confused, I opened the front. There was a card holder on the first page. I pulled out the fancy index card that was in the spot.

Alexis Marie Leo

Happy 18th Birthday

I hope you like this

My brows met as I put back the card and flipped the page.

March 10,

Your very first birthday

The main picture, under the blue sticker letters, on the left page was a picture from the hospital. My mother was holding me in her arms. My dad had his arm wrapped around my mother's shoulder and his other hand rested on top of her hand that was holding me. Their smiles were so big.

There was another picture of just my dad holding me. There was one of Frediano and Baby Alexis. There were a few more of my mother. There was one that showed her pregnant belly.

My flag football games, dance and gymnastic competitions, my first day of school, my "graduation" from high school– everything up to February was in it. I only skimmed the pages that I skipped through but it was enough to make me cry. I closed the book.

Happy 18th Birthday? Why was this not given to me then? Did Rose know? I bet she did. What a bitch. Why would she keep this from me?

I sniffled and stood up. I grabbed my notebook and the scrapbook before I quickly left my dad's office to go cry in my bedroom.

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A/N

Bit of a filler, another update tomorrow but let me warn you all just because I feel as if I have to since I keep promising it will get better. 

It's always darkest before dawn.

Dawn will come.

Darkest-ish is coming as well. I promise, as of now, it's the last dark moment. It's in a few chapters. I don't think it's too bad-ish. 

Just a warning.