Alexis

Delilah Leo

Song-- Hey There, Delilah; Plain White T's

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Photo source- IMDb, movie: Frida

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Delilah Leo

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I don't know what happened. April 1st, I felt fine. April 2nd, I was okay. April 3rd, that's when the cramping started. There was some bleeding at first, a medium amount but it stopped today, April 4th. I figured that was an odd spotting so I didn't lay any product on my underwear when I crawled into bed at night.

My stomach hurt so much but I didn't take any medicine for my pains. It hurt. I could feel the swells and pinches in my uterus and in my lower back. I didn't understand. Well, I did once I went to bed. As I lay, crunched up on my side like a discarded candy wrapper, I remembered that I had a lot of discharge recently. My cramping was probably just my body's way of telling me that I was going to start my period by the end of the week.

But these cramps hurt so much. I could barely go to bed. It was so severe.

Against my will, tears started to leak out of my eyes, down my cheek, and dampen my pillow. The tears from the side of my face had a different route. They'd find their way to my nose which dropped down to the indent above my lips which caused them to pool there, only breaking to greet my lips. My tears were salty.

I turned to my other side, hoping a small movement would make the cramping go away. I hated that I was crying. Women and young little ladies all over the world go through this. I was not any special. I bet they didn't sob and cry like a little bitch. I had no right to act this way.

I roughly wiped away my tears as I closed my eyes. I just needed to not focus on it. The more I thought about it, the more vivid it became. I needed to just close my eyes and sleep. Focus on sleep. Focus on how comfortable the bed is under me. Focus on how warm the covers are over me. Focus on how snuggly my clothes are on me. Focus on sleeping. . . . Just drift away. . . .  Slip asleep. . . . Notice how comfortable my slack face is. . . . how nice it is to keep my eyes closed. . . . how easy it is to keep my lips parted and not worry about drooling because I was sleeping by myself.

I felt like I barely slept. I felt the need to pee so I hauled myself up and out of bed. Walking felt odd but it wasn't because I was tired. I felt wet. I brushed it off as I walked into the bathroom. I didn't mind turning on the light because I've gone to the bathroom thousands of times at night. I know my surroundings. I don't need a light. However, when my thighs touched my hand quickly found the light switch. My thighs were wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Wet, wet.

I blinked rapidly to force adjustment to my eyes. I believed my heart stopped for a moment before it quickly picked back up. I think my heart's beating too fast.TooquicklyI'mnotsurehowtofixitmaybeIjustneedtobreathe I need. . . I need to focus!

I didn't go to bed with shorts on, just pink cotton underwear underneath my Matchbox Twenty band t-shirt. Maroon liquid was stuck between my legs. It was so dark, and I felt like it sucked me into its black hole and it kept dragging me further and further into the hole and I couldn't breathe the deeper I was yanked.

Why. . . is my period so heavy? It's never been this bad. Ever.

I had a gut feeling and maybe that's why my hands were shaking? I needed to stop thinking and just take off my underwear. I needed to get them off. I wanted them off of my skin. I hated the maroon stains on my legs. But when I pulled down the underwear the maroon color attacked my eyes. There were big clots of blood.