chasing happiness

chapter four: adam wiles

"Taylor please meet Adam Wiles." Delilah introduced me to my new lover. It was the day after yesterday. I had made a note to actually dress well compared to the last few days. I mean the least I could offer was a good first impression.
What came next I was not expecting. I kept my face leveled, masking my surprise.
It was none other than Calvin Harris who met my gaze.

"So we meet again." Adam said as he walked up to me, extending a hand. I wanted to back away but didn't.
"Some would say it's ironic." I said with a tone of arrogance to my voice. I was unhappy with the arrangement and I wanted everyone, even him, to know that.
He suppressed a laugh, "I would say it is."
"Well I don't think so." I cut his attempt to joke around. "I think it was set up."
He was laughing now. Calmly, but still laughing. I wondered if it was at me.
"You knew" I continued.
More laughing.
"No, no I did not." He sounded genuine. I believed him. But I didn't tell him that.
I got a close look at the man I had only really met a few days ago even though now we were meeting for the first time a second time. He was tall, taller than me, and that was saying something. He wore a casual white tee shirt and jeans. Very casual. He had dirty blonde hair and big blue eyes. And a smile, a smile that was so fucking contagious I was as mad as could be yet his smile... Just it was so genuine and bright. His eyes sparkled when he smiled as well. I searched his eyes for something, I did not know what, but I was searching. They were so big and blue and bright and I wanted to search inside them forever.
"Is something wrong?" He interrupted my thoughts.
I just shook my head not wanting to talk to him anymore.
"So, I have a prepared dinner for you two scheduled for this Friday. We will start with that. Give you two some time to warm up to each other." Delilah stated not even looking up from her clipboard she carried with her practically everywhere. When she finally did look up however she noticed me sort of glaring at him.
"Looks like it's going to need to get much warmer before we can put you in public." She said mostly in my direction. I turned my glare her way. Poor Adam, he had no idea none of this was about him. I almost sympathized for him being the odd one out on our ongoing arguments and being the one person in this room wearing a smile. So much he did not know, or would ever.
"Nice meeting you." I extended my hand. He shook it awkwardly. As if this was business.

I had no intentions on getting to know this man. I could care less about him. All I could hope was that he was on the same page. He seemed to be a likely candidate for agreeing to play along. Of course Friday came much faster than I could ever wish. Delilah had called and given me the run down: dress well, try and get to know him, be happy, smile, act interested, and most importantly act in love as you display him to management board. Not too demanding right?
Our "dinner for two" turned into a sort of Taylor Swift management banquet type of thing where we were all invited to a dinner of a formal atmosphere and expected to "celebrate" in honor of all my current success or as I called it Delilah's.
I was dressed in a beautiful dark black dress. The type that fell to the floor with an open slit on the side exposing my left leg. It was a halter top with a much too low v neck for my liking. I mean it covered everything but still. I was then adorned with diamond earrings and red lipstick that brought color to the look. My hair was curled and fell just short of my chin. I had beautiful sparking heels and my nails painted a clear gloss. Nothing dramatic or anything.
I was suppose to meet Adam at my house because it was important we arrived to the party together. I planning on loosing him as soon had I gushed to everyone about how perfect my new stranger was.
Sure enough he arrived promptly. He himself came to my door to escort me to the big black SUV we were taking to the restaurant a few streets down. I opened the door to a man dashing in all black. Of course we were matching. Once again he wore that smile and held it with absolute truth when he complemented me like a gentlemen although I was pretty sure he realistically complemented me.
"You look lovely tonight." He breathed. And so night three began with my new date whom I knew not a thing about.
Once inside the restaurant I felt the weight of tonight's happenings fall on my shoulders.
"Ready?" He asked seconds before walking in.
"I don't think I ever will be." I replied. No I was not in the mood for being polite. In fact I had come off as a complete asshole to him this whole time yet he still smiled at me.
"By the way, to everyone here, my name is Calvin." He winked at me then looked onward. I wanted to roll my eyes but before I could react he took my hand in his. I tensed at the feeling. First time, first touch. His hand was huge making mine seem small and fragile inside his.
"Why not try a smile," he suggested or more so reminded without even looking at me as we entered. I had been given my list of requirements, there was no doubt he had a list of his own too.
Like a movie, everyone's eyes were turned to us. The restaurant was beautiful. It was dressed in colors of red and gold and had an old retro feel to it. There were dark wooden tables scattered across a massive room. Plenty of room to wander and chat, of course, as well. There were windows on looking the busy streets and clear night sky. The room was not cold nor hot. There was a small bar placed at the right hand of the room. And even couches and coffee tables to the left. The room was big but still cozy. The perfect place for a formal party.

It was my secondary publicist who we encountered first. We were friends so this one would be one of the easier stops.
"Good evening Taylor" she greeted with a smile.
"So nice to see you." I replied customarily and gave her a quick hug.
"I'm sorry I'm not sure we have met" she began as she introduced herself to Adam or should I say Calvin. I retracted back to him awkwardly placing my hands on his left shoulder as if we were cozy with each other. Now the fun of playing pretend truly began. Surely all my fake advertisements of pretending to be happy for the media was only a warm up before this, the big race.
"Oh this is my new boyfriend Calvin!" I said as happily as I could muster staring into his eyes as ridiculously in love as possible.
"Taylor and I just started going out." He added playing along beautifully.
"Oh how nice," she believed it.
"Yeah he's just so wonderful and sweet," I added smiling pathetically at his face.
"Well congratulations." She remarked.

Next Adam and I were offered drinks then off to meet my manager. I dreaded this one. But of course it came to me just like everything else had.
"Taylor! You look wonderful tonight." He started. I smiled and gave hugs, Adam still at my side as if he was my puppy and I held his leash.
"Ahh and this must be Calvin." He added. They shook hands. I played along.
Finally all our formal greetings were done for and I could breathe a little easier. We had resorted to a nice table for two where now my only goal was to appear to be "getting to know him."
"So this is nice." He started breaking the ice.
"Shame it's forced." I replied coldly. I could let my happy-go-lucky guard down now and I was back to rude and sarcastic me.
"You know, your acting was very impressive, have you ever tried being in the movies?"
I could not tell whether or not this was an insult. However he did have a point. I was acting night and day different to him and that was not completely fair.
"Look I'm sorry if I came off confusing but that was a bunch of fake nonsense purely to satisfy Delilah." I tried to explain but this would not end well.
"No I understand." He said ever so politely. Did he though? To my relief he dropped the subject.
"So this setting is quite different than our first. Will you give me another shot at getting to know you?" He attempted again. I think I owed him a conversation.
"Alright. Let's start again." I proposed.
"Haha okay. Hi, I'm Adam. And I'm sorry we got stuck in this awkward situation. But... If I must fake being your lover, I can at least try to be a friend in real life. If that is alright with you of course."
I couldn't help but giggle he was playing me again and I decided to play along just like the first night at the bar where we first crossed paths.
"I think we might be able to work something out."
"I look forward to it."
I smiled. I did not know what else to say. Thankfully he started again.
"So what are some of you hobbies? Other than music of course."
"Well... They're quite random."
"Random is good."
"I like cooking and.. Netflix is always fun."
"Now we're getting deep."
We both laughed. So he wasn't so bad. He was trying. Hard. I almost felt guilty for the amount of excessive walls put in place. I just could not afford to get close to anyone. Not the way it had been before. Harry broke something in me far beyond repair. And I was willing to live with it. But I swore never to let it happen again. Therefore me and Adams conversation remained small talk and although our evening was nice I refused to enjoy it in the fullness it could have been. Had Harry not been in the back of my mind every time he opened his mouth to speak.

By the nights end, I came to a basic conclusion. Adam Wiles was not bad, in fact he could easily be referred to as enjoyable. What I did not know what that this nothingness that was out fake and dry companionship would soon have the potential to become a burning relationship.