The Last Genie: A Novella

Chapter 1

Author's Note:

A couple of years ago, when my wife was about to give birth to our first child, I stumbled upon my first real story I wrote in high school about a lovelorn genie. Reading it provided the spark for this story. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.

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Once upon a time, in an old run-down diner somewhere in the middle of America, "Easy Lovin" was playing on the corner Jukebox as Ithel or George, as he was known at the time, stabbed a large piece of cheap steak and stuck it in his mouth. After, a few chews, he swallowed, and unfortunately, well not unfortunately for Ithel, that piece of steak get lodged right in his windpipe.

As Ithel staggered to his feet with his hands around his throat, Howard, oh poor Howard, looked up from his cheeseburger and said, "Oh my God! Are you choking?"

Ithel quickly nodded his reddening face, and Howard leapt up from his stool and wrapped his arms around Ithel's midsection. After a few good squeezes, Ithel's piece of steak came flying out of his mouth.

Howard let go, and Ithel staggered forward cursing up a blue streak.

"I'm sorry mister. I didn't mean to hurt ya," said Howard.

"You didn't hurt me," grumbled Ithel. "You saved my damn life."

"Oh," said Howard absolutely confused as to why Ithel was upset.

Still grumbling, Ithel threw his last bit of money down next to his plate and stormed out.

Howard looked over at the waitress hoping to get some recognition that what just happened wasn't normal, but she was too tired and had seen way too much in her life to give two licks about what happened. So, Howard sat back down and resumed his dinner.

While Howard ate, Ithel walked around to the side of the diner, leaned up against the side of the building, and got as comfortable as he could.

When Howard finally came out, Ithel whistled catching Howard's attention. Then, he waved for him to come over.

Howard wasn't sure what Ithel would want to talk to him about, but he hoped Ithel was going to apologize for how he acted earlier, so he walked warily over to him. And, when Ithel said, "I'm sorry about earlier," a wave of relief washed over him.

"That's ok," said Howard.

"The reason I got so upset is because I'm a genie."

"Like the show?"

"Yes. Except, I don't live in a lamp, and I have a dick."

"Oh my."

"So, what are your wishes?"

"My wishes?"

"Yes, you get three wishes."

Poor Howard just stood there absolutely dumbstruck.

"You can wish for anything. How about a new car or a thousand dollars?"

"A thousand dollars?"

"Look, hold out your hands and say, 'I wish I had a thousand dollars.'"

"Ok," said Howard, and he put out his hands and said, "I wish I had a thousand dollars."

And, then poof, ok there wasn't actually any smoke, but immediately after he said it, ten-thousand dollars just appeared in his hands.

"Oh my God. You really are a genie," gasped Howard.

"That's what I said," said Ithel as he put his arm around Howard and said real conspiratorially. "And, I'd put that in your pocket before someone sees it."

Howard quickly nodded his head and shoved the bills into his pocket.

"Do you live around here? I thought we could maybe head back to your place and talk about your next two wishes."

"I live just down the block."

"Great. Let's go."

As they walked, Ithel found out that Howard lived alone, didn't have a girlfriend, and didn't have any pets.

When they entered Howard's small, dirty apartment, Ithel looked around and said, "Nice place."

"Thanks," said Howard completely oblivious to what was about to happen.

"Do you want anything to drink?" asked Howard as he stepped past Ithel towards the kitchen.

Ithel said, "No," and quickly wrapped his powerful hands around Howard's thin neck and lifted him off the ground.

Howard kicked and fought, but it was no use. In just moments, poor Howard was dead.

Ithel took the thousand dollars out of Howard's pocket then dropped him on the floor and left.

Years went by, and Ithel just kept doing the same thing drifting along from one place to the next. Picking up the odd job here or there or scamming people out of some money. Not making any connections or friendships or anything. Just surviving. Until one day, isn't it funny how that tends to happen, and actually, it was one morning.