[Discontinued] Secrets (beeduo highschool au)

Chapter 11: "It's all fake"

As of typing this, my phone is 69% so lets type some more fanfiction! 😀😀😀😀😀😀

It's 68% now.... 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

I probally need to write now.........

Okay now, yeah now, here we go....

Wait, its 67% now.......

I need to remember what I wrote last chapter, but I dont want to reread it. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Wait, no 66%. Its been 66% for like 5 minutes lol. 

Okay, here is the real story now..... here we go (its like still 66% wtf?)

Tw: derealization (did I spell it right?),Swearing, Mentions of abuse, Self harm, blood, Eating disorder?, suicidal thoughts

-Tubbo POV- (Its Sunday)

I wake up......... My phone got taken away yesterday for the fact that I 'Might call the police on them'. I am really bored but I dont really have any motivation to do anything. I start to think about the people who really cared about me. Mom and Dad dont like me that much because of what they do to me, I mean I have Ranboo but he probally thinks Im weird. I start crying without knowing it and go to my backpack and grab the little blade in there. I make 17 deep cuts on my arms until there was blood dripping on the carpet floor. I run to one of the pockets of my backpack and grab the box of bandaids and put about half the box on my arm. 

I tried to clean the blood off the carpet but it would not come off which would probally get me into even more trouble. All the sudden i didnt fell hungry anymore, i felt happy, like this feeling of hunger is something I deserve. 'Which I do deserve' I thought to myself. 'I deserve the abuse from my parents, i deserve not eating, i deserve all the cuts all over my arms and thighs, I DONT deserve Ranboo. What could I ever do to deserve someone who really loves me? Probally nothing, they would never love me.' I thought sitting on my bed looking at all the scars on my arms and legs. 

I dont feel any emotions anymore. I dont feel the pain either. Its weird, it's like im leaving reality at the moment but not dead. 'I wish i was dead' I thought. 'Just leaving this shitty world behind forever. Why not? Why not monday? Why not today?' I was thinking these thoughts for a while until my room started to become colorful. Like a rainbow color. There were so many patterns like polka-dots or rainbow stripes. These colors made my eyes hurt. But there were eyes on the wals and some weird 8-foot black figure in the corner of the room. It said only one thing and it said it about every 7 seconds, "Its all fake"

Everytime a second went by, it felt like ny headache got worse. I closed my eyes shut hard and when i opened them, my room was normal. I just didnt really think about what the hell just happened and went back to my thoughts until the end of the day. 

-Ranboo POV- (Sunday morning again)

I woke up around 4 AM again, i just sat on my bed thinking about Tubbo. I know somethings wrong with him, just dont know exactly what. I just dont know how shuch a perfect person like him could have to deal with this. I have mental probelms but after me and Tubbo started dating my mind wont get away from him so much that I dont even think about how much I dont like my face. 'Well, nevermind about that' I just laughed to push away the terrible thoughts seeping into my brain about my face. I also know Tubbo is not visiting family because he fRUcking moved here from England, there is no way that he went to England for a weekend.

After a really unproductive day, I went to bed really exicted to see Tubbo at school tomorrow. 

(Word count: 638)

I might change the name of the story, but if I do, yall will know. I am probally going to also write about 4 chapters tonight, so thats great. 

Ive been writing this chapter for about an hour and my phone is 58% lol. 

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