[Discontinued] Secrets (beeduo highschool au)

Chapter 12: Emotionless

800 reads is really cool! I feel like everytime i post another chapter I grow 200 reads lol.

Here is chapter 12 for yall.

Tw: Derealization (did I spell it right), swearing, mentions of abuse, self harm, blood, suicidal thoughts

-Tubbo POV- (Monday morning)

The first thing I think of when I wake up is, "is it all even real?". My thoughts were cut short as my dad was unlocking the door for me to get ready. He dosent even say anything, he just gives me the look as in, 'dont fucking skip school today' kind of look. I just have an expressionless face as I get ready. I dont even do anything, I just put on a hoodie, some pants, and some different converse shoes, which were red. I also brush my hair but not much, just enough.

I walk out of the house not eating breakfast and not packing a lunch, like my dad would even let me though. I walk to school listening to music but mostly in my thoughts. After this weekend i have realised i just dont show any emotions anymore. I dont really care at this point really, im starting to think that this isnt real and nothing really matters what i do. When I was walking, the world got a little distorted but not for long as I was approaching the school. 

Right when I walked into the school, Jake (is that his name?), who was pissed off, started seed-walking to me. (Yes, he did) When he got close to me I just put my hand in front of his face and kept on walking. He was mad at that so he grabbed me by the back of my hoodie and pulled me towards him. Me- sill with an expressionless face- turned around and punched him right on the nose and walked away casually. (Yes, casually.)

I walked into Mr. Notfounds classroom and sat down. Ranboo wasnt here yet so I just sat in a seat near where we sat the other times. Some kid walked up to me and said, "Ummmm, BOY, that is my seat." The kid said. "You can sit wherever you want in this classroom and i dont give a FuCK if it is your seat." I spat back. Right after that, ranboo walked up to me and sat next to me. "Tubbo, are you doing okay? You look......emotionless" "I really dont care." I said. He dosent like me, he is just faking it, nobody likes me, as you can see. I could just kill myself here and nobody would even care.

I dont really care........

I find a peincil sharpener and break the blade out with a pair of siccors, which lucky for mr, I have with me. I just start to make deep cuts on my fingers and my hands. I guess Ranboo noticed because i heard him gasp and take the blade away from me. I was too lost in my thoughts to even really notice it. My vision goes to black and I cant see or hear. I can feel someone pick me up and take me somewhere but I dont know where.

-Ranboo POV-

I walk into the classroom and see Tubbo just yelling at some girl. I sit down and try to talk to him but all he says is, "I really dont care" to when I asked him why he looked so emotionless. I know thst if people know Im dating him, or the other way around, we would not have a fun time here. I was just about to walk out of the classroom with him when I see him just putting deep cut after deep cut on his hands and fingers. I quickly take the blade away from him and carry him out the classroom to help with his hands. 

It was weird because he was just there. It was like he was there but not mentally. I take him to my car and get the first-aid kit out of the back. After I bandage his hands, i roll up his sleeves and what I find breaks my heart. There were so many scars on his arms, some didnt even look 2 days old. We sit there until he regains part of his consciousness back.

(Word count: 705)

I changed the picture for the story! I really like that one, even though it looks like they are fighting. I still like it. 😃😃😃😃

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