I'm not okay

Chapter thirteen

I continue holding her hands and checking her heartbeat for hours until she finally wakes up.

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Alessia's POV.

I slowly open my eyes but immediately close them again when a blinding light makes my head hurt even more then it already is as a pained groan escapes my lips.

I try to lift my head up but the immediate dizziness and weakness that follows quickly after makes my head fall back down.

It's only when the hands that were wrapped around my wrist and hand disappear that I notice they were there in the first place.

"Hey princess" the soft vulnerable, sad voice of Flower sounds across the room.

I weakly open my eyes and blink a little so I can get used to the light around me, "he-hey" I groan out hoarsely.

Flower smiles a sad smile my way.

"Can I have a hug?" I cry out pained and sad

Almost immediately I'm welcomed in Flower's open arms.

He picks me up and cradles me like a baby but right now I couldn't care less and enjoy more.

"I'm sorry it happened again" I mutter as my eyes close and I wrap my arms around him.

"Don't apologize for it, it's okay but what do you mean by it happened again?" He asks me

I shrug my shoulders feeling too weak to respond as my throat hurts.

"Does it happen often?" He asks me

"A couple times a week" I mutter, my voice a bare whisper.

"Oh princess" he says softly while caressing my back lovingly and kissing my head softly.

"You're not angry with me, are you?" I ask him a little nervously in anticipation for his answer.

"No, no of course not. Why would I?" He asks me gently, his loving grip never once leaving me.

I shrug my shoulder and after a few second I respond, "sir would be" I tell him.

Flower tenses underneath me.

"I'm not like him, you know that right?" Flower asks me.

"I know Flower, I know. My fear just doesn't" I mutter softly against his chest.

I always feel so tired and weak after these attacks.

My mind isn't thinking clearly, causing me to say some things that I don't want to get out. It got me into a lot of trouble back with sir.

He would punish me really badly.

It hurt a lot and he never stopped.

I feel tears emerge in my eyes and I can't stop myself from starting to cry.

Loud sobs start racking my body as Flower gently comforts me.

"Shhhh, it's okay princess. You can cry, let it all out. There you go, shhhh. Everything will be okay. You're safe now, you're safe I promise. Shhhh, I love you so so much baby, so so much. " he says gently while rubbing my back and gently rocking me back and forward.

"I'm s-sorry" I sob out while gripping his T-shirt with buttons tightly.

"It's okay to cry, we all need to cry sometimes." He responds while pressing a kiss to my head.

"I'm s-still sorry" I cry while sniffling up the snot that wants to get out of my nose.

"You don't have to be" he says calmly while hugging me even tighter but not too tight so it hurts.

I mumble something in response before he starts talking again.

"Baby, I don't want you feeling so on edge so I'm just going to tell you about the rules now.-" he starts but when he feels me tense on his lap at his words he says, "- I don't really have rules and definitely not like those from him, I promise. I have a few rules, one: be respectful to your brothers and the people around you, two: don't lie and be honest and three: don't go to the third floor since there are always people walking around that you don't know for all the businesses and then four: tell us when you go or want to go outside, okay" he tells me

I nod my head, "okay"

"Oh and princess, you can stand, sit, eat, play, watch tv and everything you want, whenever you want. This is your house too, you can do what you want. Oh and when you feel anxious or get a nightmare or anything, know that you can come to us okay, we love you so so much. There isn't anything that we wouldn't do for you, I promise you that." Flower tells me.

I sniffle again and nod my head while blinking away the tears, "thank you- thank you for being so nice to me" I say as my voice cracks.

Flower smiles and kisses my forehead.

"Nothing to thank me for, I'm your oldest brother, that's what I'm here for." He smiles.

"Flower?"

"Yeah?"

"You said that I can do what I want right?" I ask him.

"Yeah that's true to certain extents" he answers.

"Can I drink some water then?" I ask him.

My throat feels dryer then the desert and hurts a lot.

Immediately Flower stands up and starts walking to the kitchen, "of course princess, sorry I didn't think about it" he apologizes

"It's okay" I tell him softly.

He tries to put me down on the counter but I refuse and hold him tighter, "no please just... just a little longer" I say softly hoping he'd led that happen.

"Okay princess" Flower says and grabs a glass from the cabinets.

At the fridge there is this weird gap and Flower puts my glass there.

Suddenly water, actual water comes out of the fridge and fills up my glass.

"That's so cool" I exclaim, my throat still very hoarse

Flower chuckles seeing my face and kisses my head before handing me the glass.

Immediately I start drinking from it and my throat also immediately starts feeling better.

The cool water makes the dessert disappear and when my glass is empty, I refill it with Flower's help.

Suddenly Noah comes into the kitchen and steals me away from Flower before walking to the living room where he sits himself down with me on his lap.

"Are you okay munchkin? I heard what happened" he asks concern filling his eyes.