I'm not okay

Chapter seventeen

Where are they?

Where am I?

A nurse walks in the room.

The same one as before.

"Wh-...bro-brothers" I manage to get out.

I can't

My throat hurts a lot and feels raw and scratchy.

The nurse sees my teary eyes and immediately rushes over to me, "they're in your room honey, you're in the post-anesthesia care unit right now since you just had surgery but since you're awake much sooner then we thought you would be, I'll call some other nurses so we can go to your brothers alright" she tells me.

I nod my head as more nurses walk into the room.

Soon I'm being wield to an elevator.

Oh no

No

No

No

I don't like this.

Flower took the stairs with me last time when he noticed I'm not a big fan of those murder machines.

I don't dare say anything to these people.

Who knows what they'll do to me.

I'm scared

I close my eyes tightly as I quickly grab Buddy and hug him tightly as well, ignoring the screaming pain. 

After a terrifying minute, we get out of the big trap that could fall down any second.

Soon I see the big double doors of our private room.

The nurses push me through the doors and immediately my brothers are surrounding me.

Flower quickly picks me up and holds me tightly while making sure not to hurt me.

"Why're you crying princess?" He asks me softly.

"Be-because you weren't there" I say hoarsely.

His face softens, "you woke up alone?" He asks sadly.

I nod my head while hugging him tight.

"Oh princess, I'm so sorry" he says sadly.

"I thought you left me" I whisper as my voice cracks and tears fill my eyes once more when thinking about it.

His face falls and expression breaks, "no baby, I will never ever leave you okay, never." Flower says lovingly.

I nod my head as he slowly lowers me onto the comfy bed.

A nurse hangs the bags that's giving me some kind of fluids next to me on this weird looking thing before leaving with the others as the doctor comes in.

"The surgery went well and we were able to remove most of the cancer cells but unfortunately not everything. We will start chemo in a few days to kill those cells and for now we think that you can keep your kidney. However if the cancer gets worse we will have to remove it immediately, luckily your cancer hasn't spread from your kidney to your other organs so that's good news." He tells me, "you need to rest a lot and try not to move too much so your incisions can heal okay"

I just nod my head as my brothers thank him before leaving.

"Get some rest munchkin, we'll still be here when you wake up" Nono says while giving me a kiss on the head.

I nod my head and close my eyes as sleep takes over again.

—————

It's been around a week since I got surgery and today I'm starting chemotherapy.

I can walk now but moving still hurts a little so I'm keeping it to a minimum.

Somehow my brothers managed to get chemotherapy here in the house.

A nurse will come over today and help me get ready for the chemo, then stay with me until after.

I'm nervous to be honest, really nervous.

There are a lot of side effects to this chemo.

I will be nauseous, feel weak,...

And my hair will most likely fall out.

I don't want that to happen.

My brothers always play with my hair and it's so comforting and nice and everything but when I don't have my hair anymore, they won't be able to do that.

I feel tears form in my eyes thinking about it.

A knock on my door snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Come in!" I call out while quickly wiping the tears away from my eyes.

Silas walks in the room and quickly rushes over to me when he sees my teary eyes.

"Les, what's wrong?" He asks me while rushing over to me.

I look at him with teary eyes as he wraps his arms around me, "I don't want my hair to fall out" I cry pathetically.

"Oh baby" he sighs and gives me a kiss on my head and rubs my back, "shhh don't cry" he says softly, "it'll grow back when all of this is over, it will, I promise."

"But you always play with it and then you can't do that anymore" I say as my voice cracks.

"Baby your hair isn't the reason we love you, we can still just rub head a little like we do with your back. You're our little sister, baby, we love you no matter what, with or without hair" he smiles softly.

I look at him nervously, "are you sure?" I ask him.

"I'm positive" he says while pressing a kiss to my head, "now let's go downstairs yeah, the nurse is here"

"Okay Cye" I say wiping away my tears and try to swallow the lump in my throat away.

Silas picks me up and starts walking downstairs to the living room where everything is set up next to the couch in front of the TV.

"Good morning miss.Romano" the nurse smiles gently at me.

I give her a small smile back as Cye puts me down on the couch next to him and then wraps a blanket over us.

"My names Martha and I'll be with you every chemo therapy. Could you give me your arm please" Martha smiles at me.

I nod my head and push my arm out to her.

I look away and bury my head in Cye's chest while squeezing his hand tightly as the nurse puts the IV chemo into my bloodstream.

"Shhh just breathe, just breathe. It'll be over soon, you're so brave." Cye says softly while playing with my hair.

He knows it calms me down.

When the tube is finally in my arm, the chemo begins.