I'm not okay

Chapter thirty-one

"Because this is all my fault" I sob out, breaking down.

"What?" Nono asks confused.

"It's my fault that the twins are gone and that Flower is the fighting for his life because he got shot in the heart because of me. Because I wanted that stupid ice cream" I sob out as tears roll down my face.

"Munchkin, it's not your fault" he tells me.

"It is" I disagree with him

"No it's not, you did nothing wrong. It's the fault of the Irish mafia not yours" he tells me sternly.

"I wanted to get ice cream" I tell him, "it's my fault" I explain.

"It's not, the Irish would've attacked us either way" Nono tells me.

I shake my head, "they were set up around the ice cream parlor" I start, "they were ready for us to come out, if we would've driven home then that wouldn't have happened" I tell him.

Nono shakes his head while pulling me into a hug, "it's not your fault, I promise you that and if you were to tell your brothers the same thing they would say the exact same thing I am saying." Nono says.

I look at him unsure before I start shaking my head, "that's not true, when Flower wakes up he's going to blame me for him getting shot just like the twins when we get them back" I tell him while wiping my eyes and grabbing the soap as I fully stop myself from letting any tears fall.

I start washing my hands as the crimson red blood from Flower washes away from my skin.

————

I sit down next to Flower but I don't hold his hand this time.

He wouldn't want the cause of his almost dead holding his hand.

He probably wouldn't want me to call him Flower anymore either.

I should stop doing that.

I bite my nails anxiously until eventually I fall asleep from my still feeling extremely weak.

I guess staying awake for a few hours is still too much for me.

————

When I wake back up again Flower I mean Dominic is still asleep.

I don't know how much time has passed exactly since Dominic got shot but it feels too long.

He's still not awake.

I've never had any sense of time really just the basics that at what hours diner had to be ready but which day, month or year, I had no clue.

My leg bounces nervously as a doctor walks in the room.

Please don't tell me he's in a coma.

I look at her expectingly, "he should be waking up in a few hours at most" she tells me while checking his blood pressure and everything.

I nod my head and look back to Dominic.

————