Hyunjung catches a glimpse of her date waiting at the restaurant and bolts out the front door, the host's confused inquiries dogging her steps.
Her hands are still trembling when she calls up Soobin ten minutes later to apologize for canceling the blind date she'd so enthusiastically set up for Hyunjung. Excuses don't come naturally, and Hyunjung bursts out that she's sick when Soobin asks why. "Food poisoning," Hyunjung adds plainly, leaning against the wall to support herself. The rough stone scrapes against her palm, pulling her thoughts away from the past she unceremoniously fled from.
Funny to think that a single smile can still throw her heart into disarray. Funny to think that she isn't entirely surprised by it.
"What did you eat today?" Soobin asks, concerned.
"B...read."
"Bread," Soobin repeats disbelievingly. "Unnie, you can't get food poisoning from bread."
"You can if it's moldy." There's a pause, and then Hyunjung swallows. "Tell... Tell Jiyeon I'm sorry." The name falls too heavily from her lips to be casual, but Hyunjung has never managed to pull off nonchalance where Jiyeon is concerned. She's always felt too much, too deeply for her, and that hasn't changed with the years.
"I will," Soobin says with a sigh. "Wait, how did you know her name?" Her voice sharpens. "I didn't tell you on purpose so you couldn't like, I don't know, search her up on LinkedIn or something to interrogate her about her professional qualifications later, so where-?"
Hyunjung considers telling her the truth. In the end, she only hangs up without a word.
It begins like this:
Hyunjung meets Kim Jiyeon in her second year of university, in the tennis club. There are a large number of incoming first years, but most stop coming to practice after a couple of weeks.
Jiyeon stays, and Hyunjung notices.
She finds herself watching Jiyeon during practice, though she's not sure why since nothing about her is particularly noteworthy. Jiyeon's form is good, her serves are precise, and she's definitely committed to the club, but the same could be said for the other first years still around. Why her, Hyunjung thinks, and then Jiyeon brushes past her on the way to the club room, and Hyunjung's pulse races at the brief moment of contact and she thinks, why not?
Part of her wants to get closer to Jiyeon, but Hyunjung isn't sure how to. There's something about Jiyeon's smile, her enthusiasm, and the way she laughs at things that aren't even all that funny that makes it impossible for Hyunjung to tear her eyes away. She pretends the fluttering in her stomach and the tightness in her chest when Jiyeon glances over or greets her politely is just born out of Hyunjung's natural awkwardness; she isn't as good with people as she would like to be. But in the brief moments where Hyunjung is honest with herself, she knows it runs deeper.
The truth is, Hyunjung falls in love the first time she faces Jiyeon on the court when Jiyeon looks over with a glint in her eye and says, "Don't go easy on me, sunbae." Everything follows from that, whether she's willing to admit it or not.
She's not good at dealing with her feelings. They're uncomfortable, alien things she's never quite managed to get under control. What she feels for Jiyeon is no different, throwing Hyunjung into disarray despite her best attempts to ignore her. Hyerim calls her out on her distracted, erratic behavior after Hyunjung loses yet another match leading up to their big tournament, and Hyunjung chucks her racket on the ground and bites back a scream of frustration.
