Love & Demons

9.Love

Ajax

Kill her! Easy right?

At least It should be, I should have done it already.

It's second nature to me, I kill like it's a hobby. I do it even without lifting a finger sometimes, but for the life of me I can't bring myself to do it to her.

Instead I'm here fixing her breakfast and stuttering like a bloody imbecile. I couldn't even say my name correctly, Ajay what in hells name was that?

I'm acting like a blubbering nervous teenage boy who doesn't have enough experience with dipping his dick in vagina.

And I've fucked enough woman to last me an entire lifetime and then some.

I've killed more than a million mortals. I'm not even counting those that I killed with viruses and those I kill without even touching, but one fucking human girl and I'm reduced to this. What in hell is wrong with me?

DIE, it's one simple stupid word. All I have to do is say it and mean it and she'll be gone, why the fuck can't I say it?

Devil knows this is the day I have been anticipating all my life, waiting for ever since I was a little teenage boy and I learnt about soulmates and how love can weaken anyone whose unlucky enough to fall under it's spell, even the devil.

I swore to myself I'll never let "the soul mate thing" happen to me. This was supposed to be my advantage over my father, this was how I was supposed to prove myself worthy of the title King of Tartarus.

A King without a Queen, it has a nice ring to it. 

What good will a queen do in Tartarus anyway? Hell is no place for love. A Queen is but a weakness to her king and I can't afford any weaknesses.

Especially since for the longest time my father has thought of me as nothing but weak. He used to say I had too much heart, too much emotions, too much feelings and too much soul, and it simply wouldn't do in hell I had to make it all go away.

He noticed the way I fussed over Trevor like a mother hen always protecting him. Even going as far as taking all of his punishments for him willingly when he always got into shit, and Trevor got himself into a lot of bullshit. He fucking still does.

He saw the way I yearned for his and mums affection and he spent ample amounts of years trying to torture the "goodness" out of my heart. He said it was for my own good.

He always said (as I'm sure you've noticed the motherfucker has quite a lot of opinions) I got the angel heart from mother, since mother is a pure blood angel by birth. Which is funny considering he is one too himself and apparently of high rank, but that was before he rebelled and got himself booted out of heaven.

If you ask me if it's anyone's "weak" angel blood I inherited it's his own. If he is as awesome as he claims he is , then why wouldn't his superior powerful blood line be more dominant than Mothers. Why then don't I have mostly evil running through my veins? his logic doesn't make any sense, and I'm not one to question him about it.

I used to believe that love was the most powerful thing in this fucked up world. I believed that love could conquer all ,make anyone strong, make anyone who so wills it reach heights they never could without it.

One could take bold risks and have the power to stand against anything and everyone, because who would dare stand in the way of anyone who's willing to risk it all even their own lives for a course or person they love?

For many years it was what got me through all the torture and punishments I received from father.

It gave me the strength to stay in hell, not only not to succumb under the pressures and horrors that one has to face in a place like that, but come out on top every time. Even when father had me face a demon from the South, The worst kind of Demon, they spit acid and can shape shift to your worst nightmare and I was only eleven.