Disenchantment: Bean's Sister

Part 16; The One to Scam the Elf

it's been a few days since that night.. things have been so all over the place in the kingdom that bean and i have mostly just been doing things like well.. having her ask me questions about maru and "smart people stuff" as she likes to word it.

today, elfo decided to burst into our room and start yelling.
"guys! pops is sick and we need to get down to elf alley! if i'm gonna have to watch him die i really need you guys around for support."
"elfo it's okay.. just know that he'll be off to a better place.." luci said as he went silent.
"aw thank you luci i-" elfo replied happily until luci started to laugh.
"hahahahaaaa! sorry i just- whew! i can't believe you thought i was serious! you don't even want to know what we do with elves down there. see you in hell buddy!" luci clapped as he tried to contain himself.
"ohh you mean those stews with that candy scented  smoke that rises up the stairway and into the temple?" i said as i covered my mouth,
"oh my god elfo i'm.. so sorry."
"STEWS?! YOU TURN US INTO STEWS!!!" elfo yelled.
"come on guys. let's just get over there and see what's going on." bean sighed as elfo stomped out of the room and she followed him.
luci and i walked behind. i was hoping things wouldn't be awkward after everything that's happened.
"soo.. you knew about the elf cooking?" luci said with a chuckle.
"luci i have technically been your upstairs neighbor for years! of course i knew. in fact, i know a lot of hell's evil schemes and torture methods. with guardians like cloyd and becky it should have been more obvious to you. dude, maru doesn't even have a church." i exclaimed, looking down at him.
"well that's kinda reliving. i wouldn't want you getting all weird with the religious bullshit because you want to get to heaven. i bet that place is lame. i mean they took our railing privileges! did you know that?! yeah. wasn't by choice."
"even if i was religious.. i saw how things really were. i know the TRUTH now. plus i kind of scored the safe side of hell with asmodium." i laughed.
"here we go again." he mumbled as we got closer to the alley.

we were welcomed by a sign that read "QUARANTINE; NO ENTRY"
"the whole alley is under quarantine?! what the hell hit them?" i muttered as turbish and mertz stopped us as the gate.
"halt!! by order of his majesty's minister of health and inhuman services.. elf alley is under quarantine!" mertz declared.
"my friends are in there! my dad, pops, is in there too! please you have to let me see them!" elfo exclaimed.
"does the word quarantine mean people can't go in or can't come out.?" mertz said as he stared off into space. we walked through the gate and into the alley as we heard him and mertz arguing about the meaning of the word.
"words have meaning.?" turbish said as we heard the gate close behind us.
"dumbasses." luci chuckled,
"ahh i just love the smell of creatures on the verge of death."
"lina.. get your boyfriend in check." elfo said as he glared at luci.
"boyfriend?! well i wouldn't say.. i mean-" i stammered.
"we can talk about lina's weird love life later. for now let's ju-" bean started as we heard a light bell.
"the meeting is starting! everyone in!" superviso yelled as he walked to a tiny door with an "elf council" label on it.
we walked into the council room, which was extremely small and cramped. bean hit her head on the door on the way in, and then on the candle holder on the ceiling.
"are you really not that aware of your surroundings?" luci chuckled.
"shut up." bean groaned as she rubbed her head.
as we walked to the corner of the room, she hit her head on the wooden plank holding the ceiling up.
"third times a charm!" luci snickered.
"ahem! we are going into a health crisis, and all of our known cures have failed.. i'm looking at you placebo." king rulo started.
"what do we do?!" one elf groaned.
"we're dying!" another yelled.
"everyone quiet! there is.. one possibility. the fruit of an ancient tree known only as.. the legend berry!" superviso chimed in.
"the legend berry.?" i whispered.
"that's just an old elves tale!" kissy said with her arms crossed.
pops immediately jumped up.
"i seen one! back when i was going door to door!"
he started to go on a ramble about life on the road. luci leaned against the wall and started to yawn.
pops continued.
"i remember i got stuck in a chimney once! man that hous-"
"get to the point!" superviso yelled.
"okay okay, i hiked over a mountain after struggling to find people to sell to.. and i ended up in the valley of the ogres! and that's where i saw it. the legend berry tree!"
all the elves started to get riled up when they heard the story.
"hmm.. ogre valley.. that explains a lot about elfo. is that why the pendant didn't work with his blood.?" i thought to myself. thinking back to my studies, elfo has quite the ogre-like nose. i was looking at elfo and back at his dad, and back to elfo.
"lina, is there something on my face.? why are you staring at me?" elfo asked with an attitude.
"what? no. y- you're good man. sorry. kind of zoned out there."
"umm alright then." he laughed, turning away to brush off his face.
"ogres are our sworn enemies! going to ogre territory is OUT of the question! we'd be killed before we even get the berries!" rulo declared.
across the room, a man silenced all the angry elves by scratching a cat against the wall. as he scratched, shocko did his thing. being shocked.
"enough!" rulo yelled, "you have our attention, and thank you shocko."
"i'll get you those berries.. i'll even get you the whole dang tree! but.. it'll cost ya." the man demanded.
"name your price sir.. also, name your name!" rulo replied.
"they call me handsome wade brody junior. 10,000 gold pieces is my fee. i'll take half now, the other half at the same time."
rulo held his hand out as the elves started to "pass the hat" as they called it. they put money in the hat and passed it along.
"damn, these elves got coins for days!" i whispered to bean.
"i didn't know you elves were so rich!" luci exclaimed as he walked over to rulo.
"these don't even have chocolate in them! we've got so many from candy sales we can't even keep track!"
as the elves started to leave and handsome wade whatever got his coins, luci's face lit up.
"oh nonono! w- what's that face for luci?!" elfo said angrily.
"definitely not his evil little mind going to work on some elf robbing scheme." i joked.
"never a day in my life would i make these poor sick elves suffer more than they already are. i can't believe you'd stoop so low to think of me that way lina." luci said with a tsk as we walked.
i laughed in a "yeah right" tone and continued forward.
"whatever let's jus-" bean started as she walked right up to a group of elves.
pops was flat on the floor.
"pops.? what are you doing on the ground?" elfo said as he turned around.
"elfo.. it's best get him home quickly and let him get some rest." i sighed as i tried to help pops up. he wasn't doing too hot and with a lack of medicine this place's only hope is those berries.
elfo walked home with pops while luci, bean, and i waited for elfo to come back.