Hidden Within the Shadows

making something worthwhile

Nin knew what he felt towards Eddie Munson. It was obvious to him and was maybe obvious to Eddie too. The thing was, Nin almost didn't want to make it a thing. It was nice being with Eddie, staying in the too-small trailer, cramped and fighting for the comfy spot on the couch. He was always borrowing Eddie's old clothes because they couldn't afford to get Nin any new ones for himself.

Being with Eddie and his uncle, things were alright. They'd managed to get into a rhythm of sorts that all three of them liked. When Eddie got to school, Nin would try and occupy himself - whether that was doing a bit of cleaning, reading some fantasy book or some of Eddie's few educational books. Sometimes Wayne Munson was at home at the same time as Nin. It had been awkward at first, trying to get to know each other.

Wayne Munson was an alright man. He didn't quite understand that Nin was transgender, but he knew that Eddie was gay and didn't give any less of a fuck about it. He got it enough that Nin was supposed to be a boy, and his body didn't quite match his gender identity. It took a few short weeks before Nin and Wayne were completely comfortable with the other's presence, mostly since they had to get to know each other.

It was also Wayne who knew that Nin liked Eddie, but didn't act on his feelings. Wayne'd mentioned it once whilst Eddie was out doing a drug deal on Reefer Rick's behalf. It had scared the living shit out of Nin before he laughed and told him it was fine and he wasn't going to tell Eddie. He let Nin have a can of beer, whilst he drank one of his own and steadily chain-smoked on the deck of the trailer.

As it stood, Nin had not made a move. It felt like if he did, then things would go sideways, become awkward, and he would leave and try and find somewhere else to stay. And Nin didn't really want to try and find somewhere else to stay. He liked staying with the Munsons. Maybe it was because the two teens also shared the bed, and Nin liked Eddie's presence nearby.

It helped with the nightmares that gripped Nin so tightly. The terrors that plagued his sleep in the form of Nancy screaming at him, calling him every slur under the sun, of Ted fucking Wheeler coming back for round two with a sawn-off shotgun in his hands. Or of his mom, who had been so kind and did her best to understand, would spit at him and call him something unspeakable. Eddie would be there, half-asleep, ready to sling an arm around Nin and comfort him until he could go back to sleep.

Nin missed his siblings, Mike most of all. As annoying as he had been, he was a sweet boy who didn't give a shit if Nin was trans or not. Holly ... almost didn't count because she'd been so young. As for Nancy, well, Nin tried not to dwell on Nancy. She'd been there the entire time, had been such a huge part of his life. Yet she was the reason he was staying with the Munsons.

"You're thinking about Nancy again," Eddie said, pulling Nin out of his thoughts.

Currently, Nin and Eddie were in his bedroom, the door shut to give them two a semblance of privacy. Wayne would be leaving for work soon, and they could hear him pottering around in the main trailer area. Eddie was wearing a Hellfire Club t-shirt and some ripped jeans, whilst Nin was wearing some of Eddie's old boxers and a vest top of his.

"I know," Nin said from his spot at Eddie's desk. He was sitting on the broken desk chair, feet slung up on the edge of Eddie's bed.

Eddie himself was laid on the bed, fiddling with a cigarette he had yet to light. He was looking at Nin with that concerned look in his eyes, like he was ready to fight the world or take on the weight of it all. "You know it's not great when you do that,"

"Yeah, but I miss her anyway," he said, shrugging a shoulder. The chair beneath him squeaked and gave an ominous wobble as Nin pulled himself closer to the bed by his feet. "I mean, she's my sister, and she used to be OK."