Hinata's Agoraphobia

Chapter Four

The rain was quite troublesome. Hinata thought that it was a little gross, the way that every time he tried to step, it was rather sticky, gloopy, mushy, wet mud, or a deep, cold, muddy, puddle. He tried his best to avoid each one, he had to walk to school today because his bike was drenched in rain. It smelled disgusting outside, he didn't live too far from a barn, so the scent of horse and cow dung wafted everywhere. Hinata felt nauseous, he wanted to puke, his throat burned with an alarming sensation, signaling him of the vomit. One more step, no, maybe two, hopefully three- but he couldn't make it. Next thing you know, Hinata was bending over into the grass, barfing up his breakfast, neither smooth nor very chunky, right in the middle. He had cereal and toast for breakfast, he could see the color of his Lucky Charms. The look of it disgusted him, as his posture went straight, and he started walking again.

When Hinata finally arrived at the school, his stomach hurt and burned with the same sensation that he felt in his throat earlier, but this time he was nervous. He couldn't stand to see Kageyama, so he just stood in front of the gym doors, frightened. He knew that he was going to puke soon, but he always had volleyball practice in the morning, he didn't want to skip. He left his phone at home because of the rain, now he deeply regrets it.

"Pat. Pat. Pat." He slowly walked up the steps, each footstep, clapping against the tiny puddles on the concrete steps. He was so nervous that he was shaking, cold, but shaking. He put his hand on the cold metal handle when..

SLAM!! 

It slammed open, Hinata thankfully pulling his hand away in time, almost getting hurt. He jumped back from the loud noise and there was a thud. He fell right on his back, his legs at his shoulders. Hinata sat up, now covered in mud and water, looking completely terrified. There was Tsukishima, standing before him, right in the entrance of the gym. Yamaguchi waved slightly with a nervous smile, "Sorry, we didn't know you were there Hinata." Yamaguchi apologized; Tsukishima nodded at Hinata. Hinata rubbed it off and got up, acting as his happy self but with a large fake smile on his face, although they couldn't tell it was fake, well Yamaguchi couldn't. Tsukishima could tell and grimaced at it but didn't say anything. He wasn't in the mood to be harsh to anyone today, so he just kept his mouth shut and rolled his eyes when he wanted. Yamaguchi spoke for him often that day.

"Morning practice is over Hinata, why didn't you show up?" Daichi asked, replacing the spot of the two before as they walked away to the club room.

Hinata looked horrified, he didn't know that morning practice was already over, he thought he got up on time. "W-What time is it?" Hinata stuttered, "it's 8:30, Hinata." Daichi told him. Hinata was so ashamed and just looked down at the ground, slightly tearing up, the burning feeling in his eyes and the quivering pain of his bottom lip when it covered his top in a frown. "I woke up late.. I'm sorry Daichi-San.." He pleaded in his apology, he really didn't think that he did that, and he was really sorry for it. He got up and bowed to Daichi, apologizing for skipping practice and accidentally showing up late. Daichi approved of it and let it go. Although.. Coach Ukai didn't. "Kid, why weren't you here!?" He yelled, asking why Hinata didn't show up to practice on time. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be late Coach.." Hinata apologized, getting up from his puddle and imprint in the mud. He looked like a mess, he was drenched in water and covered in mud, his clothes ruined along with his bag.

Ukai looked at him in empathy, he didn't know what Hinata went through this morning, but he knew it wasn't good. "It's okay kid, just show up on time tomorrow, okay?" Ukai asked, "Alright Coach.." Hinata answered in defeat. He was so disappointed in himself, he felt like balling his eyes out right there on the ground.

Hinata's whole day went on terribly, Kageyama ignored him so he didn't have enough courage to walk all the way to Yachi's classroom and talk to her. He felt terrible and he wanted to cry the whole time. The boys stopped picking on him, THANK GOD, but it was all because Kageyama beat them up the day Hinata was sent to the hospital. He was truly upset because now he couldn't talk to either of his friends and he had to go all the way home to change his clothes. Nobody fit his size and Noya's clothes almost did but he was a bit smaller than Hinata so they didn't. Now Hinata has walked to and back from school already and it wasn't even the end of the day yet. He took up his free period to do so, so now he was hungry. His mother was at work and Natsu was at school, so he had no excuse for his mother to come pick him up.

Hinata was exhausted, his breath was out, he was gasping for air nonstop, and now he couldn't even play volleyball because Kageyama wasn't talking to him, so their coordination was off the whole practice. Nobody yelled, nobody screamed at anyone, although it bothered them all, and they didn't know why it was happening. They didn't know why any of this was. Although it was way more of a struggle when it was the 5 of them acting off, now it's those two. It triggered them, but not too bad, they just had to switch out their setter multiple times. Although it annoyed Kageyama to be switched out so many times, he knew it was his fault.

Because Hinata didn't accept his confession, he knew that he'd been avoiding him all day and he knew that it was his problem that all of it was going on. He didn't tell anybody though, because he didn't want to tell anyone that he got rejected earlier.

They slowly walked home; they were ignoring each other. Hinata and Kageyama were walking next to each other awkwardly. The rain was pouring on them, neither of them brought an umbrella. Because Hinata woke up so late, his sister took it before she went to school. Their mother took Natsu to school because Hinata was still sleeping. Now, Hinata's drenched. His white t-shirt is now a faded clear against his chest. His blue jeans were pressed against his thighs, soggy. His clothes were magnets to his skin, sticking back if you pull them off.

Kageyama felt very awkward, he could feel the coolness of his breath against his chest. His hair was hanging in his eyes, a curtain to his windows of sight. His eyelashes were covered in a salty coat of rain, sticking to each other when he blinked. His blue eyes contrasted his shadowy hair, raindrops dripping down his pale skin as he continued walking. Both of them had forgotten an umbrella, so now both of them were soaked in the rain, right next to each other.

Whenever they exhaled, smoke came out, prior to their fun hangout just the weekend before, both cold rainy days, they were together. Although, the vibe was different between them. On the weekend prior, they were happy, they were enjoying each other's company, although their skin was cold, their hearts were warm. Now, not only their skin was cold, but their hearts were cold too. Both of them have gotten distant from the weekend to now, because both of them had their hearts broken.

Hinata didn't have his heart broken because he liked Kageyama, his heart was broken because he knew that Kageyama was his dear friend, and he had hurt him. Now, Kageyama's heart was broken, because he knew from the first place that Hinata hadn't liked him back, but he also held onto hope because you never know unless you try. But when Kageyama tried, Kageyama should've known, although he did, he thought that maybe he had a chance. Hinata only liked Tsukishima, but the more that Hinata even sees Tsukishima, his heart doesn't flutter, his heart hurts, and so does the rest of his chest. An aching feeling that doesn't go away, a true heartbreak from beneath the skin. He may not have initiated the fact that he knew Tsukishima didn't like him back, but he knew that every time he saw him, he hurt, and he was afraid of him.

They were about to part ways, now it was Kageyama's street, they paused, yes Hinata was supposed to go forward, but he paused too. Kageyama was staring at him with intent. Not malicious, no, but he seemed like he was about to say something, like he wanted to say something, no, like he needed to say something. He looked right at him, and he said, "Hinata," Ouch, that hurt. Hinata hasn't heard Kageyama say his last name in a long amount of time. His lip quivered at the sight of his former friend, the one he knew cared for him. "W-What?" Hinata stuttered in weakness, silently cursing to himself for showing it. "I'm sorry." Kageyama apologized, it was hard for Kageyama to apologize to people. Most of the time, it doesn't sound like he means it, but he really does. Hinata gasped in surprise, he didn't expect him to apologize. Hinata nodded, allowing it. He thought it was okay, really. "It's okay Tobi.." It stung to hear Kageyama say his last name, so Hinata thought he should lighten it up a little. Kageyama smiled at the nickname, "Cya tomorrow Shoyo.", "Cya.."