Germany the detective

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Wow! A country has been murdered, now here is Germany interviewing countries.
Warning: VERY CURSED.

Germany: Okay. You speak English right?

America: I speak American

Germany: American English... eh- I can try that. Sex?

America: Twice a week.

Germany: OH- uh... I meant gender, male or female?

America: Male and female.

Germany: AMERICA NO! WHAT IS YOUR GENDER!

America: OH! Male.

Germany: IS THAT SO HARD TO ANSWER?

Germany POV: I'm never asking for gender again.

Beep!

Germany: -passes image to Canada-

Canada: OOOo I didn't know you also hated maple syrup skills!

Germany: no... that is blood.

Canada: oh... okay what about it?

Germany: this is a picture taken at the scene, now if you zoom in there is a picture of your hat from the corner, what did you do last night.

Canada: somebody spilled syrup.

Germany: so?

Canada: I went to clean it up.

New Zealand: OH SHOOT! FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF GERMANY I AM SO SORRY I GAVE YOU THE WRONG IMAGE! HERE IS THE ACTUAL PICTURE!

Germany: then what is this black and white image?

Canada: me annoyed about spilled syrup.

Germany: WHO USED BLACK AND WHITE FOR THAT?!

New Zealand: Imma head off, here you go Germany.

Germany: you're fired.

Beep!

Germany: okay... Where were you last night

Poland: Niemcy I was at your house

Germany: oh yeah...

Poland: idiota

Beep!

Germany: AH, what were you doing last night

AH: Quick story, Hungary and Austria role played as Czech cities, Hungary decided to be Prague and threw Austria out the window, does that answer your question?

Germany internally: what the heck

Beep!

Germany: Tsche-

Czechia: you can call me Czechia, Czech Republic or Česká Republika :)

Germany: Okay, Czechia

Czechia: do you want a Czech-out like a brexit?

Germany: how many dummkopfs do I have to meet before I find the murderer?

Czechia: want me to call Prague?

Germany: NEIN. THE THIRD TIME JS ENOUGH. (There were three defenestrations in Praha/Prague)

Beep!

Germany: Hello Russia, what were you doing last night?

Russia: that is classified, comrade.

Germany: I apologize but.. this is required.

Russia: The reports will in OUR favor right?

Germany: uh-

Russia: do you need some convincing?

Germany: AAAAAAAA

Beep!

Germany: I quit

Switzerland: So I can have the job? -happy-

Germany: GOOD LUCK WITH THAT

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