So it turns out school wasn't too bad. Turns out the boys don't really socialise with anyone else so I didn't have to awkwardly meet more people. At lunch we had our own table in this corner of a garden area and there was like nobody else in sight. I had at least one of the boys in each of my classes and they where all being really nice.
"Skyyy," Ashton sung as we walked, I don't think I was listening to anything he just said.
"What, sorry," I giggled, he huffed jokingly ready to start again.
"I said, I think we are starting a partner project this lesson," he started and I nodded. "You should be my partner."
"Really?" I asked, kind of shocked. "I mean yer, sure."
"Why are you surprised," he chuckled.
"I'm uh, I'm usually like, every bodies last resort for these kind of things," I sighed.
"Well I like you and I have the same problem when the boys aren't around, so maybe we can try and help each other out," he said and I smiled up at him, nodding.
We entered the biology classroom and I immediately felt uncomfortable. I hated being the centre of attention and I am always paranoid that people are judging me. Everyone in the classroom was watching Ashton and I, as we walked towards the back. I focused on the ground before sitting down next to Ashton at a table.
"Just ignore them," Ashton said glaring at everyone who had let their eyes follow us all the way around to the back of the classroom.
"Why are they staring?" I asked leaning my head down on my hand, trying to cover my face.
"Because I'm beautiful," Ashton said as he flicked his hair dramatically, I laughed. Even though he was joking, it was evident he was beautiful. People where probably staring because they where wondering why a girl like me was with a guy like him. I mean he's basically a god.
Everyone's eyes turned to the front, focusing on the chubby biology teacher as he waddled through the door. Mr Sike gave us our tasks, which where in fact a partner work assignments. I'm glad Ashton had asked to be my partner and that he hadn't ditched me for somebody else in the class. I really would have been stuck then, considering the fact that I have zero self confidence and my entire body is made of self-diagnosed social anxiety. I probably would have sat there all lesson freaking out instead of trying to find a partner.
Being shy sucks. I wish I was one of those carefree girls who didn't give a shit what people thought of them. I seriously don't understand how they are like that. I don't understand how they can honestly not even mind if people are judging them. When I did something embarrassing, I think about it for approximately 3 years straight, and if someone says something bad about the way I look it will haunt me for 3 years straight. There is no such thing as carefree. It wasn't possible.
"We will probably have to work on this out of school as well," Ashton said quietly.
"Well, your always at my house anyway so I don't think we will have a problem," I said and he chuckled.
"How are you liking living there anyway?" He asked putting his pen down.
"It's really great," I said smiling. "I feel so much more comfortable with them then the other families."
"Luke was pretty excited about you moving in," Ashton said and I smiled. "You guys must have been pretty close."
"We had done everything together, ever since we where toddlers," I said and Ashton nodded. "He was like a brother, I guess it's still kinda like that but it's been a long time."
"You'll get back to that," he said nodding. I really hoped we did, I still thought of him as my brother, but it's been years since we did anything together. I guess awkward kind of describes things between us at the moment.
