Marvel Mental Health one shots

*Sylvie x y/n

WARNINGS: talk of self harm and the action of harming, panic attacks, talk about breathing and feeling of not being able to get air, talk about feeling trapped with no escape

REQUEST: A Sylvie story where the reader struggles with self harm and anxiety/panic attacks. At one of Starks parties they get a panic attack and run off to their room where Sylvie finds them self harming

PRONOUNS: any -they used once

NICKNAMES: darling, sweetheart

***

Crowed were not your favourite place to be. 
Especially loud, crowded places - such as parties. 

But today was Tony's birthday and he wanted everyone to attend so you spent all the morning in your room preparing. 
You were ready to go from around 10 am when the party doesn't begin until 9pm, you were so nervous and needed to mentally ready yourself for the events of the night. 

After preparing yourself all day 9 pm finally came.
You walked down the staircase to meet with Sylvie for the party. 
She knew you weren't a fan of all this so found a quieter corner or you two to stand in.  

Around 20 minutes into the party Sylvie offered to go get you both some drinks - saving you a trip through the dance floor and into the loud crowds. 
She was only gone about 5 minutes but you could feel the room closing in, the music seemed louder and the room seems 10 times warmer. 
You dug your nails into your thigh to try and ground yourself but you just couldn't. 

Fear rose in your body as you stood on your tippy toes trying to see Sylvie but to no avail. 
No matter how much you looked, you couldn't see her. 
Without her hear you felt like it was too much, you couldn't be here anymore so you turned away from all the partying and loud music and left. 

You half ran up to your room as you rushed to your safety. 
Once you got there you thought your fear would diminish, that you wold be able to breathe freely once again but that feeling didn't come. 

Pacing around your room, you were panicking, you really needed Sylvie but you couldn't go and get her because that would put you back at the party. 
As your mind panicked more and more, images flashed up, images of your past, how you used to calm yourself - before you met Sylvie. 

With only slight hesitance you rushed to your pencil case, looking through it for the sharpener. 
Once you found it, you got the blade out in a flash and held it to your skin. 

You dragged it across your skin, squeezing your eyes shut as you did. 
You kept going until your breathing evened out and your throat felt like it opened up again. 

Just as you were looking down at your fresh wounds the door swung open. 
S:" Y/N?"
Sylvie's frantic eyes searched for you in the room. 

Only a few minutes earlier she had returned with the drinks downstairs only to find you gone. 
She turned to the person who was standing near and asked
S:" Do you know where they went?"
The person replied by pointing in the direction you had gone, giving Sylvie enough information to know you'd gone to your room. 
She put the drinks down and rushed over to you. 

Back in your room Sylvie just noticed you, then very quickly noticed your position. 
S:" Oh darling"
She moved towards you at a steady pace and gracefully knelt beside you.
S:" Do you still have the sharp?"
Without replying you held out your closed palm to her, she put her hand under yours for you to open your hand and drop the item in - once you'd done that she quickly disappeared the object and turned her attention to you. 

S:" What happened sweetheart?"
y/n:" I just, I couldn't breathe and I was scared and I couldn't come and get you but I needed you and... I'm sorry"
Realisation seemed to hit you then, you'd ruined everything Sylvie had helped you with. 

S:" No need to be sorry, we'll add parties to your list of triggers and we won't attend another one unless you would like to."
y/n:" And crowds"
S:" Okay, I'll do that in a minute, can we clean these first"
Sylvie pointed down at the wounds while looking at you for your response. 

Once you'd nodded she reached her hand out to you for you to take it. 
When you did she walked to the bathroom and closed the toilet lid for you to sit on.  
She turned and got out the first aid kit, taking out the wipes and gauze bandages then closing up the kit and putting it away again. 

She turned to you and smiled
S:" Okay, this will sting a little"
She wiped you wounds clean and wrapped them before placing a gentle kiss over the bandage. 

S:" What would you like to do now darling?"
y/n:" Just cuddle?"
S:" Of course"

Sylvie once again took your hand and lead you to your bed, she sat down and waited for you to follow suite. 
The both of you snuggled together in a comfortable silence, and that's how it stayed for hours. 

A/N: I am 10 months clean today. I'm actually pretty proud of myself. (especially considering all the shit that's been thrown at me over that time) 

How are all you guys doing? (Especially my fellow Brits, how is the heat for you?) 

I only have one exam left!!! Yay

xxx

(907 words)