Camp Paradis || Jean Kirstein

Your Problem Beckett Is That You're Rich And Beautiful

I bounced my leg up and down in irritation as the phone continued to ring in my ear, "Dammit Historia," I mumbled to myself, "pick up the fucking phone."

The one time I needed my sister's advice and she's busy spending the day with her girlfriend. She's always been the one to balance out my coldness, but it looked like I was going to have to figure this one out on my own. When I was sent to voicemail again, I hung up and placed my phone down on the bed next to me. I rubbed my bottom lip with my finger as I thought. My eyes drifted to the bag on my dresser that still held the broken brushes.

Just a few hours ago, I was so satisfied with what I had done, but now... I was disgusted. The more I thought about it, the more I couldn't believe that I ever thought that would be a good idea. I guess I could say that my judgement was clouded by how annoyed I was by him, but it was still a decision that I came to on my own, and it was a stupid one.

The sun was now set outside of my window. I knew that everyone would be down at the lake for the bonfire that was being thrown for them. I needed to talk to Jean. I needed to know what I needed to do to make everything ok for him.

"Reiner!" I called out. No response. I suppose he could be with my parents at dinner. I opted out, I obviously wasn't in the mood to eat anything because I was feeling so sick about what I had done. But that was bummer, I wanted him to walk down there with me and help me keep hidden from Levi.

After realizing I would have to do this alone, I started to leave the house, making my way down to the lake. The camp was actually really peaceful when there was no one here and the sunset behind the trees weren't too bad. If I didn't have a guilty conscience, I probably could have enjoyed it more.

  As I got closer to the lake, I found myself hugging my own arms. What the hell was this feeling in my stomach? It made my stomach flip, my hands grow sweaty, and my ears get hot. Good God was I... was I nervous? That's the only explanation. I was worried what these people would think when they saw me and I thought about how pathetic that was.

  I was going to have to stay out of sight of Levi anyways, so it shouldn't even matter, no one but Jean was going to see me. But how was I going to get him alone? That was the hard part. Hopefully, my black clothing that helped me blend into the walls of the art studio would help me here as well.

  I started smell the smoke from the fire that I was approaching and I heard the muffled music get louder with every step I took. I walked close to the tree line and soon after I saw the bonfire.

  Eren and Mika were sat together on the ground. Eren was leaned into her, smirking and whispering in her ear. Even under the orange glow of the fire in front of them, I saw her blush and bring a glass bottle of beer to her lips. I didn't think that anyone here was old enough to drink, so I wondered where they got the alcohol from, because neither Erwin, Hange, or Levi would've supplied it for them. I looked around for the three of them and saw them sitting on the dock together, seemingly just looking the other way at their drinking.

I saw the chef, Niccolo leaning against the lifeguard stand, watching Sasha in awe as she spoke with her animated hands. I couldn't hear what she was talking about, but Niccolo was hanging on to every word.

  I saw Armin and Annie standing in the water up to their calves. He had an arm wrapped around her shoulders to pull her close to him. He was pointing to something that she was holding in her hands and I could see the corner of her mouth was turned up in a smile.

  Then there was just Connie and Jean. Jean was laid on the dirt his arm covering his face and a beer bottle in his hand. He had a leg bent up that he rocked slowly back and forth. He was saying something to Connie who was sitting beside him drawing on his arm that was holding the beer. Jean either didn't notice Connie drawing on him, or he just didn't care. The only person I wasn't seeing, was Bertholdt.