Camp Paradis || Jean Kirstein

It's Hard To Draw In The Car

  "You can put that in my bag if you want." I told Jean as we stood in line to get inside the zoo. He looked down at the sketchbook in his hands, his pencil behind his ear, "You don't have to carry it around all day."

  "Yeah, but what if I see something that inspires me and you're not there? You'll have my book."

  I held onto his arm, "Well I guess I'll just have to stay with you all day, huh?" I flirted, "Would you be ok with that?"

  He raised an eyebrow, "Well when you put it like that..." he flirted back. He pulled my bag to him and put his book inside, deciding to keep the pencil behind his ear.

  After Wednesday, Jean still wasn't the same. We did go to the art studio that night, and we painted together. I actually let him do majority of my painting too, because I didn't really know what to do with him in that state, and I remembered him saying he preferred painting when he was emotional. He also chose not to keep these two paintings, even though he said himself that he only kept his works that had emotion in them. He probably just didn't want the reminder of how he felt, which I understood, but it made me wonder how much more wonderful art he trashed because of how his dad made him feel.

  I could tell in the way he interacted with us that he couldn't stop thinking about it. It was in the way he closed up whenever no one was talking to him, he would get in his head and stay to himself. I wasn't the only one who noticed, there were murmurs whenever he wasn't around about what could be bothering him. When Annie asked Armin, he mentioned that he thought his dad called him and once that got around the table, it was like everyone except for us three from Marley understood completely and dropped the subject all together.

Jean did his classes, ate his food, but that was it. He didn't stick around, he didn't joke, and he stopped giving me a hard time. He almost didn't come with us today, but I made Mika go back to the cabin with me and I physically pulled him out of the bed and onto the floor. I hoped coming out would be good for him and help keep his mind busy, because it was going to kill him if he kept it to himself any longer.

When we finally got inside the gate the first thing that Sasha did was pull me by my arm to a pretzel stand. She ordered three of them and a giant plastic cup of lemonade, then proceeded to ask what I was going to order. I just stuck with some pretzel bites.

Niccolo ran up behind us to finally catch up, "Geez, Sash, I didn't think you'd invite me out here to ditch me for Beckett."

"I couldn't help it." she shoved the first big bite into her mouth and handed the other two pretzels to him, "You know I love pretzels." we exited the line and went back to the group.

"You love a lot of foods." he told her.

I chewed on a soft bite and held one out for Jean when I got close enough. He took it but held it in his fingers, "You took my book after you just told me you wouldn't take my book."

I rolled my eyes, "Wasn't my fault. You could have came with me." I grabbed his wrist and moved his hand towards his face to shove the pretzel bit into his mouth, "I promise I won't leave you again you big baby." I grabbed onto his arm so that I we wouldn't be separated again.

  We split into two groups. Jean and I went with, Sasha, Niccolo, Connie, and Historia. While Eren, Mika, Armin, Annie, Bertholdt, and Reiner went a separate way.

  There were children running around everywhere, and I couldn't put into words how much I hated it. They were too loud, and kept running to close to me. Little screaming demons. The zoo was a very strange place, and I felt extremely out of my element. If I wasn't literally grasping on Jean and following everyone else, I would I thought this was some kind of fever dream.