Camp Paradis || Jean Kirstein

He Said He Didn't Like It

  Saturday afternoon, I laid on my stomach on Jean's bed with my feet up behind me. I watched him stand next to me, trying to tie his dark red tie. He was doing a terrible job, and already had to start over four times. We were supposed to be meeting his dad in Marley tonight, and if we didn't leave soon, we would be late. It looked like Jean knew that, because he grew even more frustrated every time he messed up his tie.

  "Shit." he whispered, undoing the knot and starting again.

  I rolled off of the bed, "Sit down." I told him. He threw his arms down at his side before plopping down on the bed next to his. He ran his hand through his hair, frustrated. I grabbed the silky tie and began to loop it for him, "You're freaking out."

  "Oh?" he replied sarcastically, "I didn't notice."

  "You don't have to be nervous." I told him. I tightened his tie up to his neck. He gasped when I pulled it too tight, forcing him to look up at me with parted lips. I hesitated, savoring this look on him for a moment, and I had to stop myself from pulling it tighter, "I'll be right there with you." I removed my hands from him, he immediately loosened his tie.

  Jean finally decided to let me go with him tonight, and I was happy about it. If his dad was as terrible as he made him out to be, I didn't want him to go alone.

  "I know." he stood up, straightening up out his black suit jacket, the same one he wore to my birthday, "It still doesn't change the fact that I don't want to go."

  "Well look at it this way." I pressed my hands onto his chest and ironed it out with my hands, "This could be the last one. You still want to tell him that this is it?"

  He nodded, checking his phone for the time, again, "I do. I just don't know if I'll be able to yet. Listen, Beck," I looked up at him, "I appreciate what you're doing for me tonight, and I like your spunk and confidence, but please, tone it down for my dad. Just for tonight okay? I'm not embarrassed by it or anything, I just don't want to give him any reason to come after you when he gets done going after me."

  I tilted my head at him, struggling to take his exaggerated words seriously, "Go after you? Like The Hunger Games or something?"

  "I wish. We should go if we want to get there on time." I began to turn away, but he grabbed my hand and pulled me back, "Promise me, Beck. Please keep yourself calm tonight."

  I scrunched my nose at him, and he raised his eyebrows expectantly. I rolled my eyes, "I'll try." I emphasized, making sure not to promise anything, because if Jean's dad pissed me off I wasn't going to keep quiet.

  "Thank you." he said genuinely, "Let's go." I led him out of his cabin, and we snuck to the parking lot, making sure to avoid my parents, or Levi, Erwin, and Hange. We didn't need anyone to talk, the last thing we needed was for someone to blab to the wrong person about me leaving camp with Jean again.

  We finally made it to the truck and Jean opened my door for me. I got in and closed it as he walked to his side. When he turned the key, the truck wouldn't start, but after a hard punch to the top of the dash, it finally cranked.

  It felt strange being back in the truck with him, and it felt even stranger that I was staying on the passenger side instead of in the middle. I remembered being so mad at him, so angry that I wanted to scream at him. But now, I was riding with him, planning to be the moderator between him and his father.

  Jean had been a completely different person all day today. He stayed to himself, acted timid, and couldn't sit still for more than two minutes. No one bothered to bring it up to him, seeming to understand what was happening tonight. It was like he had already decided how tonight was going to go, instantly putting himself in the appropriate mood, like he was preparing to be upset.