dream and George | tetraplegic

i think he ment to kill himslef

Sapnap pov

I knew I shouldn't have let him go that night. I should have made him stay. I thought as I sat by George's bed side. I watched his chest rise slowly and fall over and over again.

Phil walked in with darryl and two coffees in hand and placed them on the table. "Any movement?" I told him no. Phil decided to go back to work at the garage to sort it out for when george goes back to work, if he wants to go to back work that is. And Daryl had to leave cause hed been there all night and needed sleep.

As soon as phil and Daryl left george opened his eyes and whispered "is he gone yet?" I whispered a short yes back.

George POV

"He should have just left me there." I spoke duly. He looked at me with sad eyes. "I'm serious sapnap." I said. "Dude if your gonna keep talking like that I'm going, I cant listen to you talk shit anymore." He said getting up from his seat. "No sapnap wait please I wont." I pleaded. He said he was going to go anyway to give me some time to think.

Sapnap pov

As I was walking down the hall I bumped into darryl who asked me how george was doing. "What kind of mood is he in?" He questioned. "Its just that I want to tal-" "darryl, I think you should just go and find out yourself you know" he said okay and went off to George's room.

(Time skip to the next day brought to you by your dad works at Halifax- the next day)

Sapnap pov

"I think you should go to that counselling session dude, it might help" I said with concern, knowing that he probably wasnt going to go. "Shrink." George responded with. "I'm not going to see a shrink (therapist)." He spat. I walked out and went to get some coffee.

George pov

Maybe I should go see a shrink, what's the worst that could happen? Be sent to a shrink every week, talk about my feelings or be sent to a mental hospital. Yea no. Maybe I shouldn't. But it wouldnt hurt to sit in the same room.
I'll do it for sapnap if nothing else, I'm sure it will make him happy.

I got sat down in the room with the therapist and she started asking me all these questions like do you want to die or have you ever self harmed before. I answered no to both questions and told her it was a stupid mistake and walked out. I messaged sapnap to come and pick me up.

Sapnap pov

George seemed okay when he got in the car. I think. Although I knew it was going to be hard going back home knowing that he was the topic of conversation in our town. "well? Did you go?" I asked. "Yeah." He answered. I left the dead conversation there because I didnt want to push him.

We got to the driveway and i parked the car. George had a dull expression on his face which I couldn't read. "It'll be okay." I tried to say in a reassuring tone. He just got out of the car and walked to the front door. Okay then great start. I thought to myself as I got out the car too.

We entered the house and george sat at the dining room table. "I'll make us some coffee shall I?" Just as I said that tomathy George's dog ran in and nudged george. "I tried to stop him." Said darryl cheerfully now also in the dining room. "Dog should be a service dog, he always knows when somethings wrong." I say trying to lighten the mood but george just looks at tomathy and strokes his head. Darryl went home and me and george went our separate ways.

George pov

I love my friends but sometimes they care too much. Like I didnt want to kill myself I just thought that it would be better if I didnt have to live through this 'situation'. I walked up to my room with tomathy he laid on my bed whilst I searched for my blade. I couldn't find it. "I threw your blade away." Sapnap spoke from the now open door. "thought you might have." I said. "Why were you searching for it then?" He said. This caught me off guard and I stammered for an answer. "Its okay." He said. Trying to reassure me that he wasnt mad at me for thinking about it. "Talk to me." He spoke in a calm soothing tone. "Its like i- I tried to top myself because I'm gay. It sounds pathetic. The only thing I know is cutting- and i- I thought that it had been taken away from me after u found out and that i couldn't do it anymore but I can- I could still do it if I really wanted to." I cried. Sapnap hugged me tightly and said "I cant watch you destroy yourself george."
"i wont stop." I said crying.

Later that evening sapnap was sleeping on the couch as I went to the houses 
Main bathroom and searched for a new blade. I finally found one and tore it out of its packaging. I held the blade tightly to my forearm. Pressing down hard and slicing quickly. What I didnt think about was that this was a brand new blade so it was sharper unlike my other one. I panicked as I heard sapnap nock on the door. "Hurry up I need a shit." Was all sapnap said in a sleepy tone. "Okay." I quickly replied rolling the sleeve of my black hoodie down.

I walked out of the bathroom and straight to the living room. I sat down thinking about whether I should tell sapnap what I had just done. He soon came out of the bathroom and sat in the living room on the opposite sofa to me.

"So you wanna start talking?"
He said in a firm tone as he threw the small blade onto the coffee table.
"I did it again." "I cut myself." I said sounding dead and drained.
"Its good that you've told me, it's a start." He said slightly smiling at the fact that I came to him for help. "Yea, great." I said. "Want me to help clean up?" Sapnap questioned. I rolled my sleeve io to reveal a large deep cut going from my wrist to my elbow. "Are you trying to kill yourself again?" Sapnap questioned loud and sounding worried after inspecting the cut. I shook my head. "I'll clean it up myself then." I said.
"No let me help you." He said guiding me to the bathroom. He sat me down on the toilet lid and began to wrap my arm.