Lovesick - Nikolai and Fyodor AU fanfic

Chapter I

A lot of tw.

sh, mention of sex and obsession.

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The school bell rang.

"Sigma! Wake up!"

The split haired guy got up from his desk and looked at his friend..

"Why did you woke me up?"

"Look what I took this morning!"

Nikolai gave Sigma a photo, it was pretty blurred but you could see a purple haired guy reading a book under a three, even if the guy was pretty far away from where the pic was take.

"This time I was able to take a photo of his face! Look at him! He's so cute and adorable!"

"Yeah I guess... Listen Nik, I know I asked you this several times but you've known each other for years and you used to spoke  with Fyodor everyday in middle school, just go there and start a conversation, stop acting like a creep."

"I cant! Dos-kun is so precious, whenever I get near to him I start sweating and my whole body keeps shaking!"

Sigma sighed, the two have been best friends for more than 7 years wich was kind of a lot,  then once they got in highschool they stopped talking, Nikolai always said it was embarassing cause he fell in love with him.  But even if he refused to talk with him Nikolai stalked Fyodor everyday, and became more and more obsessed with him. For exemple, the clown hated school cause it made him feel trapped in a little cage where you get manipulated by teachers who tells you what to do, so he used to go two or three days in a week. But after he fell in Fyodor's heart, our little obsessed clown couldn't miss a day. He could not miss the opportunity of look at his loved one. Even for a second or two. 

"You should give him a love letter."

"What?"

Nikolai looked at his friend with a confused face, not cause he didn't get it, but cause he wasn't listening.

"A love letter. Express how much you love him, how much you want to kiss him, how much you want him to fuck you and all of the weird things you tell ME everyday... Then give it to him in anonymous, he might understand its yours."

The other one paused before screaming that it was a perfect idea, he just needed to find the perfect way to do that. Because Fyodor was perfect and he deserved perfect gifts. 
Nikolai got his schoolbag, said bye to Sigma and ran out of the classroom. He walked to his home and locked the door. He ate something and started searching for a white letter he bought a few weeks ago, it was supposed to be a decoration for his room, but screw it, now he needed it for something a lot more important.

 The clown took a pen and sat on the kitchen table ready to write up something. He stayed there for five minutes, and realized that normal ink wasn't going to explain how much he loved him, so he got up and pulled out a knife from his kitchen, a really sharp one, and cut his wrist. It was really deep so a lot of blood came out from it, he put all of the red liquid in a glass and placed it on the table.

"This should be enough."

And finally, Nikolai got a feather and started writing with his own blood. 

"Oh Fyodor, have you ever loved anyone? Or even fucked anyone. It'd be a shame if you did, cause I wouldnt be the firts. I spend my whole days thinking about you, you're the only reason I live and the only reason Im not depressed. I know you can be sadist and manipulative, so please, hurt me, cut my whole body if that satisfy you, manipulate me into anything if that will make you feel proud of yourself, just please stay with me. Fuck me for the whole night, hurt my insides how much you want if you need. I would feel free with you, cause the cage you'd put me in rapresents more than the world to me. I love you Dos-kun. I love you so much."

Maybe it was too deep. Maybe it looked too drammatic, but Nikolai didn't care. He wanted to really express his feelings to him. He didn't even change his clothes, he just went straight to bed and slept hugging the letter. In his sleep he dreamt of Fyodor being his lover. This wasn't new, but it'd always make him so happy.

The next day, Nikolai woke up at 4:30AM, as always. He didn't even need an alarm, his body knew that in an hour Fyodor was going to leave his house to go buy launch before going to school, and he couldn't miss that. The way his little rat looked when I left his house was so cute to him, Fyodor had bags under his eyes because of his insomnia and he was always so silent and calm while walking.
Nikolai put the letter into his pocket with his phone and left the house, followed Fyodor as his usual routine and once at school waited for launch so he could give him the letter.

13PM

Nikolai watched Fyodor sitting as his usual table in the storage and hide in a locker. Fyodor was such an asocial cold person so this was just something that emphasized his personality. The clown walked up to him trying to not get noticed but his heart started racing faster, his breath got weird and he couldn't stand on his feet, ended up going back into a locker. Nikolai liked to hide in a locker to spy at Fyodor eating, so he could see him but not be seen. But still, he was so worried to get noticed. He stared at his letter with shaky hands and after a bit he got a big breath and decided to gave it to him but when he turned to look at the table he was sitting, Nikolai noticed that Fyodor was gone. He was already incredbly pissed off, but he then noticed that the russian rat accidentally left his book on the table so he had to come back and take it. This was perfect, Nikolai could just leave the letter while he was gone and wait for him to come back and get his bag. So he did.

After he left the note on the table he went hiding in the locker again.

"Im so proud of myself!! I made itt!!!I cant believe he's gonna read it, even if we won't become a couple he will know that I care about him and maybe we'll be friends like the old times!!"

He immediatly got out of his toughts got out of his mind when Fyodor walked into the room.

The rat walked to the table and when he saw the letter Nikolai started freaking out. The clown was hiding but he put himself in a positition wich he was able to see the other one.
He stared at his Fyodor as his cheeks got deeply red and his heart was beating really fast. His breath was heavy so Nikolai covered his mouth with his hands to be sure that he wasnt going to be heard. Fyodor picked the letter, his book, and got out of the room. The clown waited two minutes to be sure that Fyodor wasnt gonna come back and he got out of the locker almost collapsing on the floor. His legs looked like they couldnt take it anymore so he layed on the table where Fyodor was sitting before. In his little mind where running so many toughts, one of these were thanking God that the next lesson started so none was gonna go in the storage room.

"I made it. Now he knows... He knows he knows he knows!"

He smiled and started laughing out loud. He was feeling so happy, it was overwhelming his whole body. He stayed there screaming like a twelve year hold girl after meeting her crush for a bit and then got out of the storage to tell Sigma. Sigma was sitting on a table fixing his deck of cards on the stairs of the second floor.

"FRIEND!"

The split haired guy didnt even need to turn around to see who it was.

"So? Did you gave him the letter?"

"Ow, you're so boring! I wanted to tell you that! And yes! He took it and he didnt even notice me!"

"Good job little maniac. But shouldnt you be in PE now? You've always been so excited about tha-"

By hearing "PE" Nikolai ran away. He had that class with Fyodor. Missing it would have been a sin.