Unrequited Love

Chapter 9

     The day before the new year I was sitting on a bench in central park watching couples walk past me, young and old. A chilly day with clear skies, yet I was sitting on the park bench, drinking a cold cup of coffee. Another year, how dreadful. I still am alive, living the same depressed life. What I dislike the most about the new year is when people say 'new year new me', what a load of crap. How pitiful does one have to be to believe that depressing saying. If one really wants to change, why do people feel the need to wait until the new year to do so.

The idea of suicide has always be there, but the idea of pain is something that does not quite suit me, that and how much effort one has to put in to actually commit. Life just goes on until your death comes, a pointless meaningless life. My life holds no value to me, I have no reason to live- yet here I am, living.

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"Welcome home my little rice cake" Yuri yelled from her bedroom. I walked in to see her drinking a glass of red wine while sitting on her bed watching a movie. She held up ] the half empty glass towards me as I walked up, "Join!"

I sat down next to her, she was watching some romance comedy movie, "Don't be so flirty with me around Leo, now she thinks something is up" I grabbed the glass of wine she handed to me.

"Oh?" She laughed, "What did you tell her when she asked?"

"I said there was nothing between us" I handed her the empty glass, "Which is true"

She giggled, "Yeah I guess so"

"So who was that girl you left with after that concert?"

"Eh nobody" She turned off the movie, "Anyways my precious rice cake, I have work"

"You're going to work after drinking?" I asked her as I laid on her bed, "I'm taking a nap here."

I could hear Yuri's footsteps walking towards me while my eyes were closed. She kissed the top of my head, "I wish there was something between us" She started walking away, "My little rice cake"

I woke up an hour later to someone knocking on the door, "Afternoon" Leo stood outside of my apartment door holding takeout.

"How'd you get in?"

"You gave me your code number"

She was wearing jeans with an oversized black sweater and boots with a grey scarf wrapped around her, along with a beanie. I was confused what was going on, she sat at the dining room table opening the take out, she had a sad look on her face from the moment I opened the door, which was a little worrying, but I did not want to know what was wrong, nor did I ask. I sat down next to her.

She handed me chopsticks as she said, "Here" I slowly took them from her hand. Worried that if I made one wrong move I would set her off. I glanced over at her as she was playing with the sushi roll in front of her, "Ren" She leaned back into the chair, "What are we?"

My eyes widened and I slowly looked up at her. At this point I knew whatever I said I was going to fuck up- so I didn't say anything at all. She looked at me like she knew this would be my reaction, here face looked genuinely disappointed in me.

"As I thought" I looked away from her, "I want to be with you"

I leaned in to kiss her, "Then let's be together" I wanted to give her what she wanted and if that was me, then I was okay with that. I would be okay with giving her anything; a place to stay, food to eat, nice vacations, new clothes. That disappointed look on her face reminded me of myself when I was young, much younger than her though. But for me, that look on my face never changed- because no one could provide the love I was once desperate for.

Leo is happier than I ever was, she has this contagious smile that lights up the room. A smile that is genuine, unlike mine. I want to provide her the comfort that she wishes for, even if I can't return the feelings she has for me. I want to stay by her side as long as she lets me, even if it is not for forever. My feelings are not as passionate as they may seem though, if she left me- I would not chase after her.

Her face lit up the moment I told her this, she grabbed my arm pulling me on top of her as she sat on one of the dining room chairs. Then she picked me up and carried me to the bedroom.

My hands handcuffed to the back of my bed, the black blindfold wrapped around my eyes, rope tied around my naked body. Her pouring hot lube on my back side, something inside of me thrusting back and forth.

I have started dating one kinky person, who did not know when to stop and I think I was the one who created her to be like. On top of that, I could never say no to her when it came to sex, she would sad puppy eye her way into it. The worst part about trying to have sex with Leo was multiple things; making sure to lock the bedroom door, checking to see if Yuri was home, having to be quiet when Yuri was home.

"Happy New Year my little rice cake."

"Don't smoke in my house"

Yuri was sitting in the living room, smoking a cigarette pretending we have a balcony, which we do not. I poured a cup of coffee for myself while Leo was still asleep on my bed. Yuri peaked her head up from the coach she was laying on.

"We should go on a vacation"

I walked up to her, grabbing the still lit cigarette from her hand, "Where?"

She stared at me as I put her cigarette out, "Anywhere but here"

Leo walked in with a fuzzy blanket wrapped around her and sat on the chair in the dining room table that was in between the kitchen and living room, "Morning" She sounded wide awake.

Yuri turned her head looking at Leo, "Where should we go?"

"For?"

"Vacation"

I silently watched the conversation between the two of them as they tried to decide where they wanted to go for a vacation. Ending up zoning out until both of them shouted at me,

"BORA BORA"

They both stared at me anticipating for my answer, "No"

Yuri and Leo looked back at each other then back at me, Yuri sighed knowing the reason why, "Because she's a vampire and hates the sun"

"Then what about France?"

Leo looked at me with an excited yet anxious look on her face as she waited for my answer. I smiled, "Sure"

Yuri stood up from the couch, "The three of us going on a vacation"

I looked at Yuri, "Unless you have someone-"
"Nope."

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Jo was sitting in his desk playing a game on his phone, then immediately put it down and pretending to work as soon as he saw me. Everyone in the office, half asleep as they stare into their computers trying to focus on their work. I remember as a child I promised myself I would never work in an office, it sounded like a dreadful and miserable life. Having to work a nine to five, Monday through Friday sitting in a little office space. Now I start work at nine in the morning and don't get out until after eight or ten, all while working at an office.