Im sorry but I love you. [eddie munson]

Time After Time

I feel like actual human trash in my dumpster of a room. I've been isolating myself, self pitying like i do when I feel like shit

I haven't seen poor Eddie since the incident in 5 days. We probably will never talk to each other again and we'll go back to walking past each other in the halls or just being strangers.

But I'm going to turn my life around today.

It's 11 am and I'm gonna get ready to visit my dad's grave, catch him up about what the hell has been going on.

I get ready, put some makeup on and wear perfume because you can be sad and hot at the same time, says Lola, I think she's right because I don't look too bad. I pack my walkman, my sketchbook and pens in my backpack.

I walk out of my room to the kitchen

"Hey hun, where are you going?" My mom asks sitting on the dining table doing her nails

"Just to Lola's, she got a new dress she wants to show me. " I lie because if she finds out I'm going to dad's she'll think I'm depressed or worse she'll want to go with. I have no problem with her going with me but I want some alone time with dad.

"Alright, be safe" she says and goes back to painting her nails

I remember that I left my bike in Eddie's van, cool-io

I have a licence just no car other than my moms and its her day off today so she won't be using it

"Hey mom, you think I can borrow your car? I just don't feel like biking right now my legs feel tired" i make up an excuse

"Sure baby, here's 20 for gas, keep the change. Be safe." She says handing me a 20

"Thanks mom" I take the money

"Love ya" she yells as i head to the door to get the keys

"Love you too mother" I say, feels nice 

I walk out the door and to my mom's baby blue car. She saved up a while for this car, i love it. So chic.

I get in and start the engine and i turn the radio on

The beatles start playing

I hum to the familiar tune as I drive, tapping the steering wheel to the tune.

I miss Pennsylvania. We lived in the city there, I remember going to the ice cream shop not so far from home. We lived on the main road so at night it was loud as hell with cars passing by. Whenever I hear doors creek or locks and keys jiggle at night I remember that feeling of anticipating my dad coming home, man i miss being a kid.

I get to the cemetery, the breeze pushes the scent of flowers to my face. I start walking to his grave

Harold Reeves

"Hey daddy-o" I say as i sit on the grass

I don't talk to him out loud, I keep my sentimental thoughts towards him in my head.

It's like when I talk to dogs I just say what I feel in my head, it's not like they'll understand me.

God I miss you dad, I have no clue what the hell has been happening to me lately.

I bet you would have cheered me up these past few days.

You listen like no other. I guess you only listen now,

sorry.

I feel the trees blow as I'm left alone with my thoughts

I haven't had those weird visions since the one where I escaped. But I feel so weird like it wasn't in my head, I mean why else would Eddie run?