At times I feel so small, so inadequate, afraid; afraid I'll never measure up to what I know I can be and what they expect of me. I'm too difficult, too emotional, too unconventional, too crazy. Is this the price I pay for being different or is this the sad reality of what life has to offer me. Today in particular, I feel worried, anxious of my tomorrow. I yearn for peace and every time I reach out, it seems to avoid my lustful touch. Alone on this bathroom floor, I feel the urge to let it all out, yet I don't know how. Am I at the end of my rope? Or dangling off a cliff egging me on to let go?Let go and fall into a sea of abundance or an ocean of scarcity? With it's arms around my throat, I feel the ball of sadness tighten, tighten until my only reprieve is to cry, cry to breathe, cry to ease it, cry to appease it. I dream of clear blue skies yet mine ominous, foreboding; never have I felt like this. Afraid I'll turn out a disappointment, afraid I'll dissapoint those I love most. And afraid I'll disappoint the one person that matters the most---me.
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