'and i can still see it all in my mind... all of you, all of me, intertwined. i once believed love would be black and white, but it's golden.'
Samira Mayfield is forced to move to a new town, transfer to a new school, and make new friends two months...
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CHAPTER ONE — they're singing happy birthday...
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I'm at Steve's house and he's supposed to be distracting me from the surprise party that everyone else is currently setting up right now. I'm not supposed to know about it, but they all suck at keeping secrets. I love them, but I didn't want to celebrate my birthday on my birthday, let alone a few weeks later. That was their plan, to let me have my eventless birthday and then slam me with a surprise party later. So, to prepare myself for the festivities I've been on a day long bender. I go over to the stereo and turn up the volume, starting to dance around his living room. "Hey, so I know this party probably took a lot to plan, but can we just ditch it and say that you couldn't convince me to go home? I am not in the mood for everyone."
"I don't know you anymore." He breathes. I turn around and look at him with furrowed brows.
"So what? Join the fucking party, Harrington." Taking another swig from the flask in my hand.
"You didn't die that night, but you're not alive either. You're just a ghost. A ghost whose heart still beats." He states. I just stare blankly at him, emotionless. "Sam, you didn't have to die with them."
"Well, I did. When it comes to that night, we have nothing left to talk about." I move to walk around the boy. "So, what movie do we watch later? Or maybe we should forget the movie and skip right to the highlight of the night."
"Sam." He says sternly, gaining my attention. "I can't do this anymore. You're not here anymore. And when you are, you're someone else. I'm tired of watching you destroy yourself."
"What? Are you expecting me to fall to my knees and beg for you to stay?" I question. "It's not gonna happen. I've been here before. People always leave and I always fight, but not anymore. So, good riddance." I shove past him and exit the house. On my walk home, I refrain from drinking any more of the liquid in my flask. This leads to me sobering up rather quickly, seeing as I wasn't too far gone.
I unlock the door and step inside, sniffling softly, feeling the tears start to dry on my cheek. I lean my back against the now closed door, releasing a sigh. "Surprise!!" I jump slightly, turning and seeing the kids, Robin, Delilah, Nancy, and Griffin standing around wearing an assortment of hats and headbands in a room full of streamers, balloons, and a banner that reads, 'Happy Birthday.' Tears brim in my eyes once more and a lump forms in my throat, the energy in the room shifts as my friends take notice of my emotional state.
"I- I'm sorry. I can't do this right now guys." I stutter, rushing off to my bedroom. I slam my door shut and toss my bag onto my desk chair. I begin to pace, my head spinning, and I pause, a photo of Gen and I in a frame on my desk, catching my eye. Tears stream down my face, but anger floods my veins. I start grabbing things off the surface and chucking it in any direction. When I reach for the frame, my emotions overwhelm me, and my body goes limp. I collapse to the ground, sitting against the wall opposite my door, and sobs start to escape my lips, halting when a knock sounds against the wood. "Look, I appreciate the gesture, but I just really want to be alone."
The door opens slightly, as Griffin pokes his head through.
"Maybe that's not the best idea, so I'm coming in." He shuts the door behind him and sits cross-legged across from me. "What happened?"
"We uh we broke up." I confess.
"What? why?" He asks, shocked.
"Yeah." I sniffle, then laugh. "I don't even know why I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself. It's my fault. It's entirely on me. I pushed him away. I'm pushing everyone away. I know it. but I can't do anything to stop it." I pause and inhale sharply. "My best friend died. She died. and I couldn't stop it. She came here to see me and I got her killed."
"Sam, you couldn't have saved her. It was a huge fire and you couldn't have stopped it." His attempted reassurance, just makes me laugh again.
"Right, the fire. I could've told her that I was leaving the mall earlier than I thought or something" I speak. I forgot the lie that the town was fed. I also forget sometimes that Griffin isn't a part of any of this. "And I know Billy was an asshole. But a small part of me hoped that underneath all of the bullshit was a decent person. Maybe once he graduated and got away from his dad, that he'd change for the better and now he'll never get the chance. And that's on me too." I ramble. "I close my eyes and I see them dying over and over again, then the wind gets knocked out of me every time. It's fucking exhausting."
"Sammy, maybe this break up is good." Griff offers. "You need to focus on yourself and work through this trauma. Cause if you don't, it'll just eat away at you, until there's nothing left."
"Geez, you make it sound like some sort of flesh eating virus." I laugh, wiping a few tears from my face. "You're probably right. I shouldn't tear Steve down just because I'm a fucking puddle of crazy." We sit there for a little while longer, until Lila comes in and sees how I'm doing. I pull myself together as best as I can and stand to my feet. Griffin follows my actions. The three of us head out of the room and join the party. We all stand around gossiping like middle schoolers and eating pizza. It's the perfect distraction. Pretty soon, I've opened every present, even the ones from the Byers family, and now they're lighting the candles on the cake. Being sung to on your birthday is so awkward. I always feel the need to sing along, but that seems weirder than just smiling uncomfortably and waiting for it to be over. I choose the latter option and keep my eyes trained on the desert before me, until the singing ends. I close my eyes and blow out the candles; wishing for this pain to end. Which is never going to happen. Robin cuts up the cake and hands me the first piece, before doling it out to everyone else. The next hour or so is spent stuffing our faces with cake and a lot of laughs. Sarah joins us about halfway through the end of the party and she and Max argue over the last slice of pepperoni pizza. Eventually, I lean forward and take the slice from the box, eating it, while they're too focused on their debate. The pair finally come to a conclusion that Sarah gets the last piece; when they turn to the box and find it empty. I toss the crust back in its place and earn severe glares from the other Mayfield's. Me and everyone else just burst into laughter. All things considered, it's been a pretty decent birthday.
[word count: 1225]
lexi's letters; you just want to lay down and cry. this is the first of a few filler chapters, just so that you know how sam got to where she is at the beginning of season four :))
