'and i can still see it all in my mind... all of you, all of me, intertwined. i once believed love would be black and white, but it's golden.'
Samira Mayfield is forced to move to a new town, transfer to a new school, and make new friends two months...
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CHAPTER THREE — this is me swallowing my pride...
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It's been a little over a week since the day that Max and I got into that fight and I haven't had a sip of alcohol since. It's been hard to say the least. And what I've been doing since then is apologizing to the people around me for all the unnecessary pain I've caused and mending friendships. Which has led me here, on the front steps of the last person I want to see. And the last person who would ever want to see me. I knock on the door nervously, taking a small step back. While I stand there waiting, I begin to crack my knuckles and my head turns in every direction, anxiety pulses through my veins. I hear the handle start to turn and my head snaps forward. The door opens revealing the person I haven't seen in a while. "H-hey, hi."
"Hi?" He asks more than says. I take a deep breath and swallow the lump in my throat.
"Listen, uh, I came here to apologize." I start. "I know that nothing I say will make up for what I did...to you. But you deserve something. I'm sorry, Steve. I let myself get lost in grief and I didn't care about who I hurt. It's no excuse. But I'm a lot better now and I want- I needed to apologize."
"Thank you." He breathes. "I'm glad that you're doing better and I really hope that you continue to do so. You deserve to be happy." I look down, my hand moving to my back pocket, ready to pass along the letter. The letter that says all the things that I can never put into verbalize. "But, Sammy, I really don't think there's anything here, between us, anymore. And I can't just be your friend. It's just too hard." My arm falls, leaving the envelope in its place.
"Understandable. Well, uh, I should get going. See you around, Steve." And with that I turn away from him and return to my car. He stands in the doorway, until I pull back onto the road. I drive as fast as I can, entering the apartment and rushing past her and Max, right towards my room. I shut the door and fall against it. How stupid can I be? I mean, just because I stopped drinking and other people have forgiven me and things are back to normal with them, doesn't mean that he would. I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. I'm such an idiot. I lift my body away from the door and remove the letter from my pocket. I get lost staring at it, that I don't hear Max enter. She places a hand on my shoulder, pulling me from my trance.
"Are you okay?"
"Hm? Oh, yeah." I speak softly, forcing a smile. I open my bottom desk drawer and drop the envelope inside. "I apologized. He thanked me. Things are fine. It feels good to know that he knows how sorry I am."
"So, you guys are gonna try again? Or are you at least friends?" She questions, hope in her tone. She really wanted this to work. And I don't think it ever will.
"No. No, that ship has sailed." I laugh. "I was thinking pizza for dinner, sound good?"
"Yeah, yeah, sure." She says. "Sarah's about to leave anyways, but I gotta get home after to check on mom."
"Okay, I can bring you." I respond.
"I can call and order it, if you wanna take a shower or just change into sweats. Or if you just need a minute." She offers. I nod my head slightly. "Pepperoni?"
"Yup." I smile and she leaves the room. My body falls to my bed and the tears start to fall. I quickly wipe them and sit up, deciding to shower. I swear, I've started showering an unhealthy amount of times a week. It's just relaxing and helps the strange muscle pain that hasn't healed since that night at the mall. After I'm done, I get out and change, making sure to not wear anything of his. I brush through my hair, blow drying it, and tossing it into a bun. I walk into the living room to find Robin on the couch. "Hey, Robbie. When'd you get here?"
"A few minutes ago." She smiles, standing up and pulling me into a hug. "So, he told me what happened. I'm sorry, Sammy. I really thought that he'd get over himself and that you guys would get back together. I mean, the two of you are perfect for each other. You make him less of an ass and he makes you more spontaneous."
"Hey, I am plenty spontaneous without him." I argue, turning to face the voices to our left. Delilah and Max walk out of the kitchen carrying cans of soda and paper plates, setting the objects onto the coffee table and sitting on the couch. There's a knock on the door and I grab my wallet from my bag, open the door, pay the guy, and hand the pizza to Robin. Lila mentions that they forgot to grab napkins. "Don't get up. I got it." I walk into the kitchen and Robin is hot on my tail.
"Hey, so I want to run this by you because I know that Steve told you." She says, leaning against the counter beside me.
"Told me what?"
"Sam, you don't have to play dumb. I was a little pissed at him, but you don't seem to care, so I have persevered." She pushes and I give her a confused look. "He told you about our conversation in the stalls after you left."
"The one about Tammy Thompson sounding like a muppet?" I laugh slightly. "Yeah, he did and he mimicked her singing for way too long."
"Well, that's on brand." She shakes her head. "Look, Sam, I know that you know I had a crush on Tammy Thompson and that I prefer girls to guys."
"Oh!" I nearly shout, finally picking up on what she was referring to. "Yeah, I mean, he slipped up only because I did. I had my suspicions, but it's not my place to really say anything about it. Why? Did I say something to make you feel like it bothered me? Cause if I did, I'm so sorry. I truly couldn't care less who you're into, Robin. As long as you're happy that's all that matters. You're still Robin, no matter who you decide to date. And we all love Robin." I place my hand in hers, giving it a reassuring squeeze. The blonde looks down at me with tear filled eyes and pulls me into a bone crushing hug. A soft smile breaks onto my face, as I wrap my arms around her, and rub her back. We pull away and I wipe a few stray tears that have fallen, as we both start to laugh.
"God, we're so sappy." She says. "You're amazing, you know that?"
"I'm not, but I'm glad you think so." I smile. "Wait, why'd you bring that up?"
"Oh, I wanted your opinion on Delilah."
"My opinion? Well, she's my best friend and I love her. She's a little too peppy at times, but it's part of her charm." I start. "You want to know whether or not you should ask her out?"
"Maybe..." Robin offers.
"You should. I think your chances of getting a 'yes' is pretty high." I answer, picking up the napkins from the counter. "Now, that pizza isn't gonna eat itself. And let's hope Max and Lila didn't finish it already." The two of us return to our friends and I force Max to sit on the floor with me, so Robin and Delilah can sit together. The four of us pop in the movie Robin brought, which is 'Gremlins' and enjoy each other's company.
