kid krow | rini

nineteen

The days following such an emotional weekend were actually quite peaceful for Nini. Ricky had stopped talking about Heather. They hadn't even appeared to hang out, actually. He'd been so sweet and caring; he was back to his regular self. The young girl had found herself happy and more content than she'd been since Heather moved to town.

Sometime during lunch, the boy texted her that he wanted to drive her home from school. He insisted that he wouldn't be late to basketball practice and if he would, he'd take the pushups gracefully. With him being so insistent on this, Nini agreed to let him do this.

He smiled at her when she got in the car, but he didn't reach for her hand like he normally would have. "Is your mom home from work yet?" he questioned. When Nini shook her head, he said, "Okay. I just wanna talk for a second."

"Okay... what about?" she asked softly. Ricky was rarely so serious, so Nini felt her stomach twist in knots.

As he pulled out of the school parking lot, he tapped the steering wheel nervously. He blew air through his puffed cheeks as if he were nervous and said, "So I've been thinking about how upsetting it has been to keep hiding our relationship. It just isn't a fair thing to do." Nini began to calm down, no longer panicking inside about what he might say next. A tiny smile spread across her face, only to be wiped free by him following that up with, "So I don't think we should do this anymore."

"What?" she asked, her heart dropping into her stomach. "Ricky, what are you talking about?"

He continued to stare at the road, refusing to look over at her just in case she was crying. "I just don't think it's good for you. You've been so stressed and emotional about it all lately. I feel bad about the pressure this secret is putting on you." He paused for a moment and finally worked up the courage to look over at her with her glassy eyes and pursed lips as she stared through the windshield. "I don't want it to keep hurting you."

They pulled into Nini's driveway and neither teen bothered to move from their seat. Nini was so frozen that she didn't even bother to take off her seatbelt. She tried to swallow the lump stuck in her throat, but it didn't work. "Did I- did I do something?" she asked softly. As tears began to pour out, she said, "Because I don't know what I did and I don't understand what's happening right now."

"Oh, love," he whispered. He brought a hand up to wipe some of her tears away. "You didn't do anything wrong, I promise. I just want to do what's best for you."

"What's best for me?" she repeated. "Ricky, if you don't wanna hide from EJ, we don't have to. Or if you want to, we can do that too. Did I say something to make you feel like this was the best option?"

He shook his head and put a hand on her knee. "It just won't work, Neens. We've literally never been seen together at school and if we were to tell people that we're together, I would have to explain my music and things about myself other people don't know."

"What's so bad about people knowing you?" she questioned. "Why does that scare you?"

"Because, Nini," he sighed. "People already know me as Ricky Bowen the athlete that hangs out with the plastics and doesn't care about anything. If they knew about me beyond that, it would make me like-like-"

"Like me?" she finished. "I get it, we're very different people at school, but what does that have to do with anything? Ashlyn is dating Red. Seb is nothing like the rest of your friend group and he fits in just fine."

Nini felt her heart crack when he whispered, "But EJ likes them. Nini."

"I can apologize for calling him a dick," she offered. "I don't think he'll hate me forever."

"I'm sorry. I just really don't think it's going to work." He watched her nod as she stared down at her lap, her hair curtaining around her face. "But Nini, I promise you're wonderful. I love you."

"Okay," she mumbled.

As his thumb rubbed circles on her knee, he asked, "Can you say it back?"

Her body began to shake violently with sobs as she shook her head. "I don't- you- I don't think you... get to ask that... of me," she hiccuped. "It's not fair."

"I'm sorry, Nini," he said.

Nini felt ridiculous, to say the least. She had begun to cry so hard that her body began to wheeze and hiccup like a little kid throwing a tantrum. Sitting in front of Ricky Bowen and crying like this was unbearable, so she just decided that she had to leave. She yanked her ring off and fumbled with the clasp of the charm bracelet he'd given her not long before.

"Nini, you don't have to do that," he said softly. "Those are yours."

"I don't want them," she griped. "I can't keep them."

When she finally split the clasp on the bracelet, she dropped it, alongside the ring, into his cupholder despite him holding his hand out for them. She slammed the door in the middle of another one of his bullshit apologies and stormed up to her front door. Unlike every time before, he backed out of her driveway and left before she even got inside.

With hot tears streaming down her face, she pushed her bedroom door open and her eyes immediately landed on Ricky's sweater on her desk chair. She quickly shoved it into her backpack with the intention of returning it and then climbed into bed. There was nothing that could convince her to get back out of it, either. She tossed her cell phone on the floor, willing herself to fall ignorant to any incoming messages from her friends.

The 20th time Nini didn't respond to Kourtney's calls and every single text Carlos sent, the pair of friends called each other and created an action plan. Seb left basketball practice and picked up both of the teens. Kourtney used her key to let them in and called out, "Nini?"

Upon the lack of response, they rushed up to her room to check if she was up there, headphones in and oblivious to the world around her as she happened to do on occasion. Kourtney frowned at the puddle that was Nini in the center of her bed, sleeping with red puffy cheeks and a very wet pillow. Slowly, she climbed onto the bed and laid face to face with her dear friend. The two boys who followed sat at the foot of the bed.

"Nini," she cooed softly as she shook the girl's shoulder. And the girl, who was never easy to wake, groaned and swatted at the girl's face. "Little girl, this is a full face. No ma'am. Get up!" She shook Nini's shoulder harder, causing the girl's eyes to flutter open. "What's wrong, babe?"

Nini shook her head solemnly and croaked out, "He broke up with me. He said he didn't think it was fair to keep our relationship a secret and that he's just too different with me to be able to tell anyone."

"What the fuck?" Seb said.

She sat up, her head shooting in his direction. "Get out," she growled. "I never wanna see any of those plastics again."

"I'm not on his side, Nini," he told her softly. "I promise. That sounds like a load of bullshit."

She didn't argue with him about it but began to cry all over again. Sebastian moved more toward the center of her bed and stretched his arms out for a hug. Hesitantly, she moved closer and hugged him. He pulled her into his lap and motioned for Kourtney and Carlos to move closer. The three teens engulfed her in a hug.

"Squeeze harder please," she requested. "I need to be compressed."

As he and his friends tightened their grips, Seb said, "Here's what I think I should do. I think I should come out and tell everyone that I'm dating 'Los. And then he can sit and feel bad about how he's too scared to tell people he owns a guitar and likes to write songs."

"Sebby," she whined. "You just can't do that. It'll ruin your reputation and you know it."

He laughed. "That's like... the whole point. I love Carlos more than I could ever care about being popular. Anyone in their right mind would agree."

"I'm on Nini's side," Kourtney said. "I mean... you could spy on the plastics instead. I mean... unless you're ready to come out now, then I completely support you.

Seb laughed. "Yeah, I think I could keep a couple tabs on them for a while."