My Bad Boy

Chapter twenty two

Please excuse the grammar mistakes <3 

( JULIO POV )

I was used to living on the edge.

It was like a second home to me.

A second nature if you will.

I loved to take risks and do things that would scare the shit out of even the most crazy person in the world. I realized, if I lived on taking risks I could forget my fucked up of a life style.

I could lose my mind in the adrenaline and I wouldn’t have to worry about the father that sat in jail or a mother who was too busy to even notice anyone.

But when I grew up and learned I needed to be there for my family, to support them the way my father never did, I learned living on the edge was a dangerous game.

Which meant Kelsey Mays was purely lethal for me. She made me believe in things that never could be. I was the guy who couldn’t handle commitment for many reasons.

I admitted that a long time ago, but with Kelsey here in front of me, a Goddess here to steal my cold heart, it’s enough to make me rethink everything.

Her hand is hot in mine and I can’t help but squeeze it tighter, making sure she is real, not some image my mind has created.

The last time I held a girls hand, other than my little sisters, was probably way back in middle school.

I watch as she turns her head slightly and sends me a small. private smile. A smile that could make any strong man fall to his knees. I don’t smile back. Instead, I think about her words in the parking lot.

She wanted to see the real me. The Julio I liked to keep hidden from the world. I don’t know what she expected, but I knew I couldn’t give it to her

. I didn’t need her to get involved in my fucked up life and I knew her just being here with me, holding my hand and sending me private smiles, was a blessing in itself.

I shake my head. What the fuck was I doing? How has this girl gotten under my skin? How was she able to wrap her hand around my heart and squeeze it?

If this is what Aiden felt when he was around Mia, like any moment the sky could catch on fire, then I knew I was on a dangerous road.

I knew I shouldn’t give this girl anything from me. She deserved so much better than what I was offering. But, when I spilled my soul to her in front of the girls dorms, I wasn’t thinking about what she deserved.

I was only thinking about what I wanted.

And Goddamned did I want her.

I’m going loco. I know I am and no matter how many times I try to tell myself to remove my hand from hers, I don’t.

Instead, I pull her closer toward me,scared she might realize she can do way better.

When her sent hits me, something like lillis, it makes me wish we were somewhere more private. But it didn’t matter where we were.

She made it more than clear that I needed to earn the right to kiss her and fuck, if it took me all night, I would get a chance to show this girl just exactly what I was made of.

“What are they saying?!”

Her voice snaps me out of my own hidden monologue and it takes me moment to realize she was talking about the group of guys hanging out by the outlet porch. When I catch that name again, Pacho, I want to curse under my breath.

“Nothing important.” I say, trying to hide my now turning feelings. I knew Pacho could show up tonight if he wanted too and it was a stupid risk for me to take bringing her here.

He was still on the outs for me and when he called a week ago, again threatening my family, I agreed.

I never wanted to go on the road that was my father. That was the one thing that scared me more than I was willing to admit. I wanted to be a better man, a better person. I didn’t want to devote my life to something I couldn’t get out of.

But, what my father didn’t know, is when he left to go to the pen, he also left all his plans behind. And, since I was the next Hernandez in line, it meant it was my job to follow in his footsteps.

Pacho said I was making a smart decision, that it would be for the better, but I didn’t buy the bullshit he was feeding me. What I did know was sooner rather than later he was going to contact with me again, telling me just when and where this little drug trade was going to go down.

And the moment he did, I had other plans.

The one thing I wasn’t expecting though was Kelsey. This was the reason I never got close to a girl. I knew what my life offered a girl and I wasn’t willing to bring someone down to hell with me.

But, fuck, I was thinking of my happiness for once back at that fucking field. And damn, this girl made me feel like the happiest bastard in the world.

“So, what made you change your mind?” We’ve stopped close to where people were dancing in the middle of the yard. Spanish music pools through the silent night and the fast beat makes everyone smile, dance and move their hips to the words.

I look away and meet her light eyes. Ever since the first moment I met her I noticed how if you looked close enough, you could notice a little gold. It was intoxicating.

“About what?” She lets out a small breath, looking over my shoulder and then back at me. Her eyes meet mine again and I can’t help but think about that gold.

“The event at school. I thought you had work.”

I did. But, when I told Becca I couldn’t make it, she demanded to know what the hell honored me the right to skip out on the job. When I couldn’t think of anything, I told her the truth. Over the past month she kind of grew on me, so when I told her I needed to tell a girl how I felt, her face fell into one of knowing.

Like I said before, the best way to get the girl to do anything was to tell her the truth. And when I saw that look pass over her face, I knew she was in the same predicament as me. So when I untied my apron and threw it on the counter, jumping over it, I looked back and told her the same thing I was thinking.

“You should tell him how you feel.” She looked at me oddly and I didn’t wait to hear what she had to say. I heard around school Kelsey was going to the even with some asshole from some other country and I was going to make sure the little prick didn’t think to much of it.

When Kelsey fed me that friendship bullshit, I wanted to grab her hand and tell her what she was saying was a mistake. But, I saw the fear in her eyes. The fear that I caused. So, I agreed, the whole time my mind telling me I was a damn fool.

I played the game. Played the friendly friend. But every time she wasn’t around, I thought about just telling her. Telling her that I cared for her more than I liked too.