I wish that I didn't write these poems.

The death of a pet

I remember when I was younger,
I didn't know much about death.
I couldn't comprehend it.

I knew the last two deaths of my bunnies,
were my fault.
I didn't mean to.
They were so small, so precious.

I had another bunny, I had another chance.
I promised I would be better.
I promised to protect you, bunny.

But once I saw your body, lifeless.
As a kid, I couldn't tell.
I came with a smile to your cage,
shooing the cat away.

"Hey there buddy."

You didn't move.
You didn't blink.
You didn't breathe.

"Buddy?"

I've never been so confused, what is this?
What did it mean?
Have I failed to protect you, again?

I cry to my only mother,
tears of despair.

"Mama, what happened?"

The pain was too much to bare.

I couldn't help but ask what happened while tugging her shirt,

I can tell she was tired of me having my pets die and needing to bury it under dirt.

"Things happen, he is at rest now." She says.

"But I don't want him to be, not yet." My eyes wandered back to the cage that contained a deceased bunny.

"The cat must've given him a heart attack, these damn stray cats."

Her eyebrows creased into concern, while looking back at my watery eyes and rose blush, runny nose- she embraces me.

I couldn't get over the death of my bunny.
I grieve, but at a young age I didn't know that I was.

We buried his body along with the happiness he brought.

My face filled with distraught.

It looked like my mother has dealt with many losses in her years already, to the point this was probably nothing.

Just a bunny.
Just a pet.

As days pass, I would go outside to his old cage and put lettuce there.

A fool? I was.
A kid? I was.
An idiot, to think he would hop out of the soil and comeback to me.

I would weep over the soil of his rotting body, tempted to dig his body back up
with my tiny fingers and nails,

scratching away the surface of what could have been suffocating you, my bunny.

I was in disbelief of your death.

"No way you're dead, right? You're alive and we buried you alive. Didn't we bunny?"

No response, not a movement, not a breath.

I pour water of prayers and love, every time my grandmother would pray amongst the day time.

I would pray for you too, bunny.

For I have failed, to keep you alive.

- to my bunny

{2012-2012} fluffy , my bunny.

I love you.