Sincerely, Yours

19 ~ goodbye

RILEY'S POV

"I want to have sex with you but if I do you won't be able to leave," I groan while he moves his bags towards the door. "Okay I'm going now, bye," He smiles kissing me. "I don't wanna say goodbye, see you later." I smile as I watch him walk out of the door, I smile with everything in me trying not to cry.

I loudly groan frustrated at life, or at myself. Maybel comes out of the room meowing, "you miss Marco, right? So do I." I sigh before picking her up. My pager begins beeping, "Im sorry Angelo I have to go." I say before putting her down and rushing out of the door.

I scrub in for the surgery and Leo is scrubbing next to me, "so you never saw me later." He says trying to break the silence, "I would say I have a boyfriend but I just didn't want to see you again." I say while shaking my hands off and then going into the O.R. The entire surgery I was thinking about Marco or Leo, or mostly how I wanted to nut punch any guy who talked to me.

After the surgery was finished I walked to the O.R elevator and saw Leo and the other guy waiting for the elevator same as me. When the elevator opened they both held open one side, "I have a boyfriend." I scream before walking into the elevator, "do you really or do you just don't want to go out with me?" The other guy asks as the elevator doors close, "both I don't even know your name, nor do I want to know it." "It's Lincon," "Great I will not see you later," I say while walking out of the elevator, I decided to go see Eli.

"Hey Marco left and I just wanted to make sure you were okay," "Riley you should go now, Noah and Juliet are here." I try and turn around to leave but there they are, "Riley hey." Noah said, my eyes went fuzzy, my breath shallow, and I couldn't move. "God you're keeping up with this act, I didn't hurt you." He says while walking past me, I gather myself after a couple of seconds and walk out of the room and run to the bathroom while holding my chest.

I run into a bathroom stall and begin throwing up, when I'm done I wipe my mouth and wash my hands. Another girl comes out of a stall, "Are you okay?" It was the surgeon, Maya. "Fine it's just my boyfriend is in Italy and my rapist is his ex-wife's brother and his ex-wife is dating his best friend who is downstairs so I have to see him." I blurt it all out, "Oh wow, sounds like you need someone to drown your sorrows with, ill be at the bar next door at eight tonight." 

She walks out of the door, I pull out my phone and call Marco. Voicemail, of course. "Marco I-I don't know how to do this because I can't breathe knowing that I won't see you when I go home or get in my car, I made space for you in my life and now I don't know how to." My voice begins breaking up, "just call me when you can." I hang up the phone and prop my hands up on the counter while crying.

I wipe my tears and splash my face with water to hide the redness, I walk out and look at the O.R board, my name is on surgeries all day. Surgery is the only thing to keep my mind occupied when I want to shut it off without ending up like my mom.

MARCO'S POV

I get off the plane and turn off Airplane mode and a voicemail comes through, Riley. "Marco I-I don't know how to do this because I can't breathe knowing that I won't see you when I go home or get in my car, I made space for you in my life and now I don't know how to, just call me when you can." 

Her words make my heart break, as much as I wanted to call it would've made things harder for everyone. That's a lie, it would make things harder for me but she doesn't know why I'm in Italy and if I told her she would've come and comforted me which isn't what I need. My father was shot and I have to plan his funeral; do other things that I'm not particularly excited about. 

I get to the family home and knock on the door, my uncle opens it and I let myself in. "Marco benvenuto a casa" (Marco welcome home.) "È già all'impresa di pompe funebri e Callisto è pronto?" (Is he already at the funeral home and is Callisto ready?) I ask while pacing, "sì" "ottimo vado a cambiarmi" (great ill go get ready) I say before walking upstairs, I see a glimpse of Callisto in the bathroom with the door creaked.

"sei bravo?" (you good?) I ask while walking into the bathroom, "bene, non voglio farlo." (Fine, I just don't want to do this.) "queste persone sono orribili e se lo meritano, non pensarci troppo, nipote" (these people are horrible and deserve it, don't think too much into it) I pat his shoulder then walk out of the room.

I pick up my tux and just think about how much I don't want to do this, I want to tell everyone at the funeral that he was an asshole who I hated, but that's not what my mother would've wanted.

RILEY'S POV

I stand in the elevator while repeatedly calling Marco, "Jesus fuck answer." I whispered to myself. He finally answers and doesn't say a word, "Marco you're still my favorite person even if you're in Italy or wherever so just talk to me for god's sake I need to hear or feel you."

My eyes swell up with tears as he still doesn't answer, "Really Marco. you cant do me this one solid and just speak to me?" I say before hanging up, why would I do this to myself I groan loudly before walking out of the elevator.

"Are you okay?" I hear in my ear while I'm walking, "Lincoln I'm fine what is it with you and that other guy? was it a dare are you guys in high school?" I ask getting more irradiated by the second, "The dare was to see who could get you to go out on a date first." I smile and he tries to touch my shoulder.

I grip the sides of his shirt and push him onto the wall, "Ive made myself very very clear I do not want to date you or talk to you or see you again is that so hard for you to understand? Leave. me. alone." I say while shaking his in between every word. A crowd formed around us and I walked out of the circle,  Leo walks beside me. "Quite the show," he smirks next to me. "Oh my fucking god get out of my face," I scream he just stands there I've never felt rage quite like this I wanted to rip his face off. His smirk was gone, "did I just speak another language or are you just that fucking stupid?" I ask while staring at him, "no you were very clear." He walks away.

To say that I couldn't breathe was an understatement, I feel like I am suffocating.

word count: 1260