Sincerely, Yours

29 ~ holding on

RILEY'S POV

Life has choices, yes or no, in or out, up or down, live or die, hero or coward, fight or give in, or at least those are the important ones. 

I run out of the elevator and go to the NICU, the monitors are rapidly beeping over Rose. "Come on Rose fight, choose to live for me and your parents please." I beg of her while they turn off the monitors, "Im sorry there's nothing more to do for her, her STATs are dropping." The ped's doctor says, "can I hold her, if she's going to d-die someone should hold her." I beg while looking at both of the doctors. Marco places his hands on my shoulder providing comfort. 

They wrap her in the blanket and hand her to me, "so there's no change?" I ask while rocking her against my chest, "Kangaroo hold," one of the doctors whispered. "What?" I ask, "Just keep holding her, the kangaroo hold look at the monitor." 

I look up to see her STATS in the normal range, "how?" I ask, "The way you're holding her, the kangaroo hold increases STATS she can feel your heartbeat and hear your breaths so she's stabilizing." Maya says, I continue to look at the monitor as her STATS increase. "A nurse can take over for you," She suggests. "No I'm okay here," I smile before sitting in the rocking chair. I sit there and rock with her for hours, "thank you Rosey for choosing to live." I whisper to her before my phone dings in my pocket. 

I slowly pull it out to see two notifications, Marco texted "Im downstairs with Aria," and Aria emailed me my own wedding invitation, I open it and a card pops out of an envelope and says 'Riley & Marco's wedding' and the date of next week and a location. I copy and paste it to google and it shows a place that looks like a church but isn't one. I call her, "How did you get everything soon?" I ask, "I told them I was sick and in the hospital and wanted a wedding." "Aria, that is just wow." "This wedding is my dream Riley I will do anything for it." Aria says while her voice breaks up, "Okay okay I have to go but ill come see you soon." I say before hanging up.  

I stand up and gently place Rose back in the NICU bed, I place a gentle kiss on her head before I'm scared by Marco, "Jesus fuck you scared me." I say, "Bambina there's a child." "Sorry sorry," I begin walking out of NICU and Marco follows. "Are you okay?" He asks while pulling me closer to him, "No how am I supposed to have a child when Aria's child almost died." I mumble before I begin crying, "It's okay Bambina." He tries to comfort me, "No it's not Marco if I have a child a tiny piece of my heart will be running around how do I live with that?" "You look at the tiny piece of your heart and do everything in your power to protect them." He says before kissing me on the forehead. 

"I have to go say goodbye to Aria and then I will be in the car waiting for you," I say while wiping my tears. "Okay I will see you then," he places a kiss on my cheek before I go into the elevator. In the elevator is Lincoln again, "¿Dónde está tu novio?" God, he speaks Spanish, he pushes my hair away from my ear from the back, "Él no está aquí" "You speak Spanish?" "Yes, a little enough to know what you said and enough to know that you aren't stupid? Do I need to say it in Spanish?" I ask, "wow," He whispered. "I do, need to say it in Spanish, "dejame solo," I scream before the elevator opens and I step out of it. 

translation: (where's your boyfriend?) (He's not here.) (Leave me alone.)

I walk into Aria's room, "It's getting late, I'm going home but ill be back soon, will you even be out of here for the wedding?" I ask, "I will see you." I gave her a hug while she sat in the bed, "okay I am going to have hot, hot dirty sex." "RILEY!" She screamed, "sorry, sorry." I walk out of the room and run into Chase, "Oh you're still here?" I ask, "of course." When I realize why I deeply sigh, "so how long are you going to pretend you're not in love with her?" "Until she's in love with me." 

"God Chase I wish you saw yourself the way everyone else did, you are not just for sex, you are a person Chase living like that is no way to live, you have a child to think of, and if there's any chance you can give her what we never had then do it," I say before trying to walk away, he stops me. "She didn't want me, she didn't pick me Marco picked you and Dad choose mom, she didn't pick me it's not the same," he says before walking away. 

I bather myself for a moment before walking to the car where I see Marco waiting, I sit in the car "do you have my novel, I left it in here?" I ask, "I do." He hands me the book, and as I open it I have an idea."I have an idea that you may not like." I say, "what is it?" "strip club," I say slowly and quietly. "What?" "A strip club I want to go to one before we get married, just this one time," I whisper. 

"Switch with me," I say before getting out of the car and going to the driver's side, "this way you don't have to drive me, and ill drive myself." I say while Marco settles into the passenger seat, "But Bambina" "Marco just this one thing I want to do before we get married okay we can fight about it later." 

I get to the club and get out of the car, Marco follows and begins blocking the door. "So you expect me to let you go in there and let other guys touch you, and kiss you?" "I won't have sex with anyone or kiss them you should come in," I suggest before trying to push him out of the way. "I will kill anyone who touches you," he says before holding the door open for me. "No, you will no Marco tell me you won't." "I will, you have been warned." 

I walk over to the bar with Marco as my bodyguard, "why don't you go get us a room they have some upstairs." I say loudly trying to speak over the music, "I'm going, if anyone touches you tell me." He says before walking off, I see a glass slide down the bar leaving it next to me. I turn my head to see a guy, "please don't come over here." I whisper to myself. 

He comes down a couple of seats leaving him only a seat away from mine, "That guy is he your husband?" He asks, I turned my head to look at him "he is not what about you, wife, girlfriend?" "Yes actually, Lily we've been together for a year." "I didn't need your entire life story just a yes or no, if you have a person why are you giving me a drink?" "Im a nice guy, not everything is dirty, if you don't have a person why is that guy following you like a bodyguard?" He asks, "You are not a nice guy nice guys are dirty guys, are you a dirty boy?" I laugh, "you may make me one so I'm going to dance wanna come?" I was tempted to say yes but I'm interrupted by Marco sitting next to me, "find me later." I say before my head returns to Marco.

"Riley, what are you doing, we're getting married do you just have a sudden urge to blow up everything good in your life?" Im stunned at his words, "Maybe I do but why are you blowing up at me?" "Because the thought of another guy touching you, hearing you, feeling you around them makes me go fucking crazy." He says before turning away from me.

"Fuck Marco I'm sorry," I sigh I walk up behind him and lay my head on his shoulder. "I do have a sudden urge to blow up everything good in my life, and this is really good but you have to cancel the room because we will see each other in a week." "What?" He asks, "I will see you at the wedding but now I need time to think so I will not go to any more strip clubs but I will go sit at Chase's house until the wedding day, I love you." I kiss him before walking away. 

word count: 1500