Midnight Blues

𝐕𝐈. Gangsta

ℑ 𝔫𝔢𝔢𝔡 𝔞 𝔤𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔰𝔱𝔞, 𝔱𝔬 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢 𝔪𝔢 𝔟𝔢𝔱𝔱𝔢𝔯,
𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔫 𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔰 𝔡𝔬.

The frosted mousepad clicked inwards, as Angel explored the different programs at colleges and universities near her. She had done this once before, under the assumption that her life would be changing for the better, and that she would get closer to her dreams. But of course, that didn't pan out, and like many of the people in the community she grew up in, she had to choose a path other than that of the one she dreamed of.

She never thought that she would be back on the search, but as she finally typed in the name of her number one college pick from just over a year ago, memories flooded her vision. She remembered her guidance counselor putting the flag of her school pick in their office, her friends smiling as she watched them do the same. It was once all, so simple.

"Well, what's new with you, baby?" Her mom, Alissa, said from her Air Pods. Angel had almost forgot they were on the phone; she was so focused on her task at hand.

"Oh, nothing much, Ma..." She contemplated adding any other details about her life, but then decided to do so anyways, wanting to update her mother further.

"I'm actually seeing someone new." Angel says, navigating to the information page of the college website. While she typed in all her new information for a follow up email from the school, she heard her mother giggling slightly on the other side of the line.

"Is that so? When do I get to meet him?" Angel rolled her eyes playfully, annoyed at her mother's favorite question.

"You always trynna meet somebody! I'll bring him over soon enough." She tried to compromise, not sure if she even wanted to introduce them just yet. But they were in the stage of the relationship where things were beginning to look serious, so her mom probably wouldn't have to wait long.

"Okay, okay. Tell me, what are you planning on doing with your time, Angel? You said dancing was a means to an end, and you're doing pretty good for yourself." Sighing, at her mother's words, Angel took a second to contemplate.

"Honestly, I've been researching colleges again." Angel revealed, exiting the site after submitting her information request, and closing her computer. The line was silent for a moment more, and then, Alissa began to speak.

"How's that going?" As soon as her mother's words reached her ears, her eyes glossed over, as memories began to come back once more. She recalled the pang in her heart when she first found out that she wasn't going to be able to go to school anymore. The sadness that was already plaguing her heart, made her vulnerable to the helpless, desolate feeling she felt that day.

"It's fine." She replies shortly, picking up her phone to distract her from the recollection. Angel had forgiven her mother for her mistakes, from what felt like years ago. But the months didn't add up to nearly enough time to forget the pain that it caused, and the life that she was now a part of, because of her mother's carelessness and shortcomings.

"Angel, I'm sorry. I wish I would have found a way for you to still go when you first graduated. It... feels so long ago now."

Her mother spoke softly, careful to not press any further. It was still a touchy subject for them. One they had visited every once and a blue moon, just to clear the air, and check in. It seemed like now was that time again.

"I know, ma. I'm gonna make sure I do it right this time. For me." After Angel said that, her mother released a soft hum of approval, satiated in the fact that her daughter was growing into a gracious young woman. She only wished that her forgiveness would last them a lifetime.