𝓞𝓱 𝓑𝓻𝓸𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻

38.

Josie Pov

I woke up in my room or well the room I was in the last time I was here. The room was dimely lit and I was still in the clothes that I wore while I was still at the hospital. 

I hadn't used my phone since the stabbing and wondered how I survived boredom without it then I remembered I, never have a chance of getting bored when for an odd reason people are always out to kill me. Though it looked to have gone through the most I still managed to charge it and the amount of messages that came into it was disturbing.

345 Messages from Jasper
232 Missed calls from Jasper
98 Snapchat messages from Jasper
321 Instagram messages from Jasper

I couldn't understand how the sweet guy I met had turned into the creepiest guy on my phone.

Sometimes you should know when to cut off a red flag in your life no matter how good they treated you, when you first met. *cough cough* anyway

I was just about to block him when he called me again for the hundredth time this week.

Jasper calling....

Princess please just talk to me okay I just want to protect you : Jasper

Josie: Jasper or whoever you call yourself I clearly don't remember you so why do you bother to contact me.

Because it's not fair Josephine your mine i didn't just save you and invest all of my time you just for you to forget me you brat. : Jasper

Josie : Excuse you????

I didn't mean to say that I'm sorry I'm just stressed from not being able to be close to you Just please can we maybe meet. :Jasper

Josie : I don't want to meet up with Rude stangers.

I said I was sorry. I just want to talk I promise please just meet me a Pollys Coffee shop at 3 pm tomorrow just to talk. :Jasper

Josie : Fine

Call ended

I thought I was protecting him from my past when I made him think I forgot about him but now I think I might have been protecting myself.

Meaning he might have knew about my mother all along....

I couldn't think about that right now my mind was all over the place I needed something to calm me down or at least numb me for a while so I did what I do best. I went to the bathroom turning on the hot and cold water watching it full the bathtub until it was at a warm temperature.

Taking out the blades I kept with me at all times placing it on the edge of the counter. I stripped off my clothing then slowly got into the tub, the water felt amazing on my skin. People judge and ridicule those who self harm yet they don't try to understand why people do it. I mean I could probably go scan my wrists at a store and I might a discount.

Looking for a way to escape my mind my thoughts by substituting pain emotional with a different pain physical pain felt more than worth it. I couldn't just call up a friend and talk about 1 I had no friends and 2 what would I say hey friend I wanna offer my hand as a chopping board.

Taking the blade in my hand I brought it up to my thigh and line by line I let the blade dance on my skin like pen does on paper. In the end it was Euphoric Masterpiece, an art form that I only I could do what could be better than that.

I felt numb yet but the pain reminded me that I was alive.

Cleaning and placing it back onto the counter I sank into the now crimson soaked water. I spent about 15 minutes cleaning myself up before I got out wrapping my body up in a towel. I opened the small first aid kit to clean my wounds and add a bandage onto of it.

Walking to the closet and pulling out sweatpants, underwear and a oversized t-shirt just so that I could be as comfortable as possible.

Checking my phone to look at the time it was around 11:45 pm I prayed that everyone had gone out or was sleeping at this time so that I could go down to the kitchen and make myself a cup of tea. My appetite has been absent for a while and I didn't mind but I needed a hot beverage.

Going downstairs I couldn't hear anyone which made me sigh in relief though it seemed like I had spoken too soon

Letting the water boil while I took out a cup I felt like someone was watching me. I turned around to see the one and only Vincent and he just stood there watching me. He looked different he had huge eye bags and had lost a but weight. He just stood there awkwardly like he'd just seen a ghost passing by.

"Josie..."he seemed so shocked to see me his eyes even welled up.

He almost ran up to hug me but I flinched and moved away from him.

" Don't you dare touch me" I rolled my eyes and tried forgetting he was even in the kitchen just so that I could be able to leave.

"Look Joise I just talk to talk  please just give me 5 minutes of your time and if you don't want to talk me anymore I'll understand it."

This should be entertaining everyone suddenly wants to talk to me the irony

"I haven't been the best brother to you... I know there's nothing I can do to make you forgive me but I'd like you to give me a chance to prove myself to be a better brother. Just one chance and if I fuck up you can cut me off completely out of you life. I want to get know you and love you as my little sister I'm blessed to have you bambina and I'm sorry I haven't showed you that"

He sounded so sincere... But I know better than to trust a snake twice.

"I know you don't trust me, even if it takes me 1000 years I'll do anything to earn back your trust"

I don't care what he does anymore... However i wonder why it hurts seeing so vulnerable because of me.

Why do I want to give him a chance

Thank you so much for Reading 🦋❤️
It's school holidays so I'll try to update as much as I can.
Have a Good day or night

~Magesticleoo

💀Jasper.... Good guy or is he the bad guy?... I guess we'll never know