Heartstopper oneshots!

only myself to blame pt.2

ask and you shall receive

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TW ED, SH

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Charlie's POV

Its been about 2 weeks since I found Nick in the bathroom and he seems to be getting back to his normal self. I've barely left his side the whole time, our roles reversed for once.

But its also been about 2 weeks since I've eaten a full meal, about 2 weeks since I've been consistently clean because every time I'm alone the voice in my head reminds me that its all my fault. Tells me that I deserve the hurt, that I deserve to hurt.

But no one needs to know that, especially not Nick.

I tug down on my sweater sleeve as I lay on Nick's bedroom floor, I haven't slept all night. My tossing and turning was disturbing his sleep so I moved to the floor where I've been sitting and staring into the void since.

Silent tears roll down my cheeks and I let the stillness consume me.

"Char?" I hear a hushed voice call.

"Yes?" I whisper back, quickly wiping away my tears.

I see a set of eyes pop over the edge of the bed, "Why are you on the floor?"

"I couldn't sleep and my tossing kept waking you up," I mutter, reaching up and pushing the hair that's fallen into his face away.

He simply reaches over and pulls the covers aside and pats next to him and I willingly crawl in next to him.

"Are you ok Charlie?" he says so quietly that if I wasn't right next to him I wouldn't have heard him.

And for once I don't try and sugar coat my answer.

"I don't know"

I'm met with silence, then after a few beats I'm pulled against his firm chest and he just holds me.

And just like that the roles switched back.

I don't quite know when I fell asleep but as I open my eyes sunlight floods my vision, the space beside my vacant.

I sigh and swing my legs over the edge of the bed and groggily sit there, rubbing my eyes before standing up.

I'm up for about 3 seconds before my head starts spinning and my vision starts to spot. I flop backwards onto the bed in defeat.

Just then Nick walks in.

"Hello there sleepyhead."

I grumble in response.

"I got you tea and toast" he says, sitting beside me.

"Hey, I'm meant to be looking after you," I say, looking up at him, "not the other way around."

"Shut up Charles," he says playfully before urging me upwards and pushing the plate into my hand.

I take a small bite of the toast and chew slowly, Nick watching me intently but trying to act like he isn't.

Its not till I've eventually finished just over half of the toast that he speaks again.

"You haven't been eating, have you?"

I don't respond. I don't need to.

I watch his leg start to bounce and his hands get fidgety. I put down the plate and get off the bed, kneeling in front of him.

"Hey, hey what's wrong?" I ask, gripping his hands.

"I'm just so sorry," he starts, voice wobbly, "I just couldn't take it anymore and you of all people shouldn't have found me in that state and- and now you're."

That's all he can get out before he starts sobbing, I just pull him into me and hold him while he cries.

"Just worry about yourself," I whisper, "I know what I can take."

We just hold each other for a while. He finally calms down and pulls away and he just looks at me, he really looks at me.

And I look at him.

There's a sadness in his eyes that hasn't always been there, and it makes my heartache.

We're both so broken.

And we can't fix each other, because we can't fix ourselves.

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here's a pt.2 for those who asked!

how would y'all feel if i turned this plot into a short story?? (just a thought)

anyways on a lighter note;

y'all's comments are hilarious pls keep them coming they make my day

until next time x