I Love You [Deku as Kokichi AU] 2

[4] Could Have Been A Killer

[Authors Note] ... Hey... heyyyy... how ya'll doin'... I'M ACTUALLY SO SORRY FOR LEAVING YOU GUYS FOR MONTHS- I'm alive and trying to update ASAP. I just got back from a 10 hour shift and I am ✨suffering✨ Man- part time jobs kinda sucks. especially when people buy ONE item that costs more than your paycheck for 10 hours :,) It's fine though.  ON WITH THE STORY!

~Shuichi Saihara POV~

The greenish-purple haired boy seemed utterly fragile, his thin but strong frame engulfing my own. He was shorter than me, though far stronger. Hesitantly, I placed my hand on the back of his head, slowly stroking his head. 

"Are you... feeling better?" I asked quietly as not to frighten the skittish hero-in-training.

"Much... thank you... Shumai..." He yawned, my cheeks flared a bright red at the nickname. Soon enough the two of us went downstairs to the kitchen for some food. As soon as we set foot in the common area Kokichi was given dirty looks by most of his female classmates, considering the fact a couple angry males were also apart of the staring contest I assume word must have gotten out about the previous situation. 

I kept the boy close to myself and assisted him to the kitchen on a hunt for food. He seemed stable with his crutches so I would say it is safe to assume that it isn't the first time he has broken his leg. From the pantry I discovered a range of spices, condiments and the really spicy hard mints old people keep in clouded clear plastic sistema containers. After I felt a slightly aggressive tap on my ankle I swivelled on my heel to face Kokichi.

"Skcooch!" He ushered me out of the way as he opened the draw under the pull out pantry "Prawn, chicken, beef or corn?"

"corn..." I responded hesitantly, looking at him skeptically. Without looking up he tosses me a two-minute-noodle cup with corn. He pulled out two chicken ones as well as bottles of vitamin supplements. 

Out of the bottles he poured out, iron vitamins, omega 3 fish oil tablets, vitamin c, vitamin d and a. What happened next spooked the soul right out of me.

HE SWALLOWED THEM DRY.

I stood there, frozen with a shocked expression plastered on my face. This boy may be as crazy as he came off as in the game. "What? can't swallow pills dry?" He smirked, whacking my side with his crutch. I hunched over as a reaction to the jab, giggling slightly as I did. 

After filling up the cups with boiling water and grabbing our chopsticks, we retreated back to Kokichi's dorm. We sat on the floor, backs up against his bed in silence, just eating. Kokichi finished first and put his cups down on the floor next to him. I soon followed suit. 

"Thank you for the meal Kokichi." I smiled, trying to break the tension in the air. I had no idea what to do, what to say? Should I go, or should I stay, should I try to leave then let him call out to me and hear him say 'Please don't go! don't leave me here, not like this Shuichi! I need you! I love you!'. No! Of course I shouldn't do that, he wouldn't do that, this isn't some silly fanfiction where we cry in the rain and dance on table tops. Thi- 

"It's no problem." He replied, snapping me from my thoughts. "Hey, Shuichi? Could you, stay? Like, here with me?" 

"S-stay? Of course, whatever you wan-" 

"Do you feel as if you're in debt to me?"

That question made my blood run cold. I felt, guilty of sorts, after what had happened. In summary I do feel like I owe him something. I owe this boy my life, but I know thats not what he wants to hear. He wants to hear that I don't feel guilty, because he, Izuku Midoriya, Deku; he was just doing what he was suppose to do. He was born and raised a hero, he was born to be a sacrificial lamb. He became a man whos blood was suppose to be spilt instead of ours. And here I am feeling bad about it. Because we were going to be killers if it weren't for him, hell I was planning on murdering Himiko if it came down to it. But I didn't want the boy feeling worse then he must already feel, so I gave him the answer he was looking for.

"Saving people... thats your job isn't it? You're a hero, it's what you're suppose to do. So... no, I don't." I answered him, gulping and looking at the floor. I couldn't look him in the eye. Not when I'm lying through my teeth like this. 

"Y'know, there's no point in lying to somebody like me. I can smell your guilt, it radiates off you like a sickeningly strong perfume." He spat. He spoke bitterly of himself, as if he despises the person he became, because I'm sure he does. I like to think of myself as slow to anger, but the one thing this dense teenager can't get through to his brain is tickling my last nerve. "You shouldn't waste your guilt, nor pity on somebody like me, save it for when you've wronged yourself." Kokichi finished. 

"I have wronged myself Kokichi!" I spoke harsher than I had intended, I had tilted my head back onto the bed, clutching the front of my shirt. The boys lips opened as if to say something, only for his thoughts to be whisked away by the breeze curtesy of the open window. "What don't you understand about that?"

Kokichi was listening intently to what I had to say, which I appreciated. Though I didn't know what to say, other than the truth, so thats what I did. 

"What don't you understand about the fact that I was prepared to send my moral compass spinning if you didn't step in, if you weren't there that night before the game was suppose to start." I felt tears cusp the brim of my eye lids. "Get it through your thick fucking skull, that I could have been a killer!" 

Word Count: 1033

[Authors Note] Alright-io... I've finished my assessment block so I'll try and update throughout the week to make up for lost time, I promise I will finish this book if its the last thing I do, it may not be the ending your looking for but I'm trying my best T-T. Let me know if theres things you want to see in the upcoming chapters or any ideas for future fics or anything.

Take care my little sound waves <333

- RadioHead