☆☆☆Mingi and Yunho were sitting in the living room. Yunho stared silently at the tea in front of him and watched the smoke come up from it. He knew Mingi was waiting for him to speak, but he didn't know where to begin. There were no words for everything that had happened.
Yunho rubbed his hands uncertainly and looked at Mingi, who looked down.
"I..", Yunho started, but stopped immediately when Mingi looked up.
"I...", renewed silence. Mingi sighed. "Sorry I just don't know where to start." Mingi shook his head. "Tell me when you're ready, maybe we should go to sleep first."
Yunho remained silent. Mingi took this as confirmation and got up.
He disappeared into his room.Yunho felt guilty. After everything Mingi did for him, he at least owed the boy an explanation..
....
It was already midnight when Yunho finally entered Mingi's room. He quietly crept to the bed and lay down next to Mingi. Mingi seemed to be asleep, but still heard what Yunho was saying.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Before Yunho could continue talking, Mingi turned and looked at him in the dark.
"Stop apologizing dummy. You didn't do anything wrong." Yunho looked up at him and then pulled the blanket over himself. "You're not going to hate me right?" Mingi nodded. "I would never hate you." Yunho took a deep breath.
"Two weeks ago.." he said, trying not to cry. "I had a job cleaning a house in the new area around here." Tears wet the pillow.
"When I was almost done, a burglar came who wanted to burn the house down. I hid instead of acting. I hid until there was no way out. I was there until the house was on fire. Then I got out of a window and the police picked me up. They held me over the night and didn't let me out until midday. I was too shocked to think straight. I was too shocked to think that I was supposed to be picking up my sister. My sister who I haven't paid enough attention to anyway. You know, Mingi, I always expect people to love me and pay attention to me but actually..." Yunho took a deep breath and rubbed his face with his hand.
"Actually, I don't pay attention to anyone. When my parents were alive, I always tried to make them love me but did I give them love? I just caused them problems, probably so much that it made my mother sick and she had panic attacks."
Yunho broke off again and started crying. Mingi turned to him and put a finger on his trembling lips.
"Sssshh..Yunho It's not your fault." He whispered and looked at the crying boy who closed his eyes.
"I..." he started again. "I forgot to pick her up from school, so her friend's mother picked them both up and they had an accident and they all died. My sister left me. Mingi, everything around me is falling apart..I'm the reason for everything and I can...I just can't..." Mingi hugged Yunho and narrowed his own eyes. He felt Yunho's pain so much. He couldn't understand how much fate could be against a person.
"Yunho it's not your fault.", Mingi whispered again. His own breathing became uncontrollable.
"It's my fault. It's my fault because I'm alive." Yunho whispered against Mingi's chest, making the boy next to him cry as well.
"I can help you Yunho. I will make things right. I will take away all your pain. It is not your fault. Maybe everything is destroyed around you, but it is not your fault because you yourself are destroyed. I will build up everything. Please Yunho don't give up. Your life is far from over."
Crying, Yunho went a bit away from Mingi and looked at him with a smile. "Mingi I've never had a life. I only lived for others and they're all gone. They all left me."
"Then live for me. I promise I won't leave you."
"You can't promise that. I'll destroy everything, I will destroy you."
"I'm ready to be broken as long as you're happy."
"I can't do this. I can't watch someone suffer because of me again. I just want to disappear."
"I won't suffer. I don't want you to go away. I'll help you."
"Why? What's in it for you if I get happy?"
"I don't know. I just can't bear to see you sad."
"Everyone is sad sometimes."
"You're not everyone Yunho."
"Why?"
"I don't know. I just feel it. I want to live with you and show you how beautiful life is and if it will destroy me, then I like to be destroyed."
"I don't want to lose anyone again."
"You won't lose me no matter what, I'll be there for you. I don't understand why I just want it."
Silence.
Both looked at each other silently.
Both unable to say more.
Both with tears that slowly dried.
Both sad and yet full of hope.
......
______________________________
Heyyy..omg I know I was gone for quite some time but I am back<3
Just for update: I will upload on Friday and Sunday the following weeks. This book will also end soon. I think it will have around 20 chapters, so a bit is left. But don't forget that there will be a second part of this so no reason to be sad:)
Anyways hope you had a good time and sorry for waiting again so long..life is really stressing me:(
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